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Apart from the obvious (a tom can father kittens, a queen carries, nurses, and cares for them), the difference is not obvious. Of course, toms have testes, queens do not. If you are looking at a kitten, under the tail, below the anus, there is a small raised area with no fur. On a male, that is the head of the penis, and will have a single tiny hole in the center. In the female, that would be the vulva and will have a vertical line down the middle.

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12y ago

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