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Age of Consent & Underage Relationships

What should an 18-year-old do if his 14-year-old girlfriend is pregnant?

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2012-02-14 18:41:17
2012-02-14 18:41:17
  • I'm 14 years-old and my boyfriend/fiance is 18(we haven't had sex.). We were sorta in your situation only I was raped and I conceived (I was not raped by my boyfriend). No one here, or anywhere, can tell you what you should do because honestly there is no right or wrong thing to do. What my boyfriend did was make sure I knew he loves me. He'd hold me and just let me talk or cry or whatever I felt I needed to do. He never forced me to tell my parents but he made sure I knew that even if they were mad, I still had him. When I told my mom, after my dad had left us, she was surprisingly calm. Her and my boyfriend made sure I had regular medical exams and my boyfriend attended every one. He got a better paying job too, witch made me a lot more comfortable and he told me it felt like his baby all along. We recently found out that I had miscarried and we were relieved. but mostly sad. We knew that we weren't ready for a child. I wish the best of luck to you. I really hope her parents don't take you to court. It would definitely not be the best thing to do in your girlfriends situation. She's going to need you, so is your child, make sure they understand that.
  • Well I'm going out with a 27-year-old, and I'm 14. I sort of live with him as well as my mom. He's met my mom, and she likes him and says hes a nice boy. I might be pregnant but because I'm so younger I don't know what to do. So if I was that 18-year-old, I would make sure I loved her before I got her pregnant and made sure it was planned. In my opinion, there's nothing worse than having an unplanned pregnancy because the younger girl might be worried what her parents might think or what she's going to do so make sure you talk to her before having sex (think of the consequences.)

Note: This is actually quite a scary post. A 27 year old having sex with a 14 year old is child sexual abuse.

  • First of all if your eighteen and she is fourteen, that's called statutory rape. You better hope that if her parents find out that she is pregnant that they won't take you to court for statutory rape and lock you up. If they already know and don't do nothing about it then consider yourself lucky. There's nothing wrong with keeping the baby but first before you both decide what you are going to do, you better think about you guys financial situation, living status, and if you guys are going to be together and both take responsibility for the baby. This girl is to young to be having a baby. She is not even old enough to get a job. In the end it is her decision because it is her body. I'm not going to tell you to tell her to get an abortion because I think abortion is wrong but if she does have the baby just be there for her and her baby. BE A RESPONSIBLE FATHER!
  • I'm in the same situation but I'm not pregnant. So you won't get locked up, tell the parents you will take care of the baby and get a job. Also, be extremely nice, and don't get an attitude. It does not make you a nasty person, it just means you fell in love, and now you're about to have a baby with a baby.
  • Well first, I would NEVER do that, but if I were put in that position, I will do my best to help her out financially. When its born try to give the baby a good life, and also try to be there for her and the baby. That's what I would do.
  • Well, I'm 14 and 6 month's pregnant. My baby's daddy is 24 and is in jail, so you should be there to. Yeah, the sex was good till I got pregnant with his child, but he lied to me. He told me that he was 17 when he was really 24. Yeah, that's still too old for me, but you need to go to jail for 10 years like he has to for statutory rape with no parole and a $100,000 bail.
  • Well, I'm 14, and at the end of the day its up to them. If I had sex with a 18-year-old, I wouldn't give a care, but I still wouldn't tell my parents. I will still let him see my child no matter what.
  • I'm 14, nearly 15, and I had the baby and the dad is 18, but he comes to see the baby everyday and supports him so it all depends on what the families like or not and as long as they help with the baby and helps the mum too!
  • To be honest with you, I think its terrible that everyone ultimately blames this 18 year old guy. There are two people in that relationship and you can't tell me that at 14 she is a baby. He's four years older, and I suppose you think therefore he is an adult? I'm not saying this guy is not to blame and I must admit he doesn't exactly sound very decent but from one line can we really judge?? Surely if this girl is not too young to have sex she is not too naive to realise that contraception is a necessary when having sex, especially at such a young age. Sounds to me like a lack of responsibility which will have to change quickly, but on both parts.
  • Well you're not nasty at all! It takes two. I lost my virginity when I was 13! My first was 16, I didn't get pregnant but if I would have my mom would've took him to court which is wrong on every parent's part who would do that or has done that because your child apparently wanted to do it and if the child wants to take such a big step into a totally changed life and is ready to take on the responsibilities and consequences that come along with having sex then who are they to of course blame it on the older guy or older girl. It all depends on the situation, if the 14 year old was a virgin and you didn't love her and care about her then you are wrong for taken something so special away from a young, curious girl! Then you should have told her no if that was the situation but if you care for her and you actually love her and want to be with her then so be it because you cant help who you fall in love with and there isn't an certain age to experience being "in love" so people who say you're too young to even know what love is are wrong. That's my opinion on that and I wish you the best of luck if she is pregnant if she isn't BIRTH-CONTROL is what she needs! You called her your girlfriend so hopefully you aren't taking advantage of her and you really do care about her!
  • I know what you're going through I'm dating a 21 year old and I'm not even 16 yet don't listen to these people there's really nothing you can do but hope that the police don't find out cause even if the parents don't press charges the cops can and I actually am pregnant right now and it is illegal I don't even know if I'm going to put the fathers name on the birth certificate and another thing depending on what state it could be legal in Iowa where I live if you are 14 then you can have sex with anyone up to the age of 19 and 16 is the legal age so just look up the laws.
  • It is difficult to say as the law varies so much. Check out the 'Age of consent' website which will give you the information for your state.
  • First you sit down with her and discuss how you are going to tell both sets of parents at the same time. Unfortunately, the two of you will not be able to do this alone and now need to be mature enough to accept the responsibility for the life you have created. There are a lot of options you can choose from. If you do not feel you can properly care for this child and the parents of the two of you are not willing to get involved, you can give the child to a loving couple that wishes to adopt. You can become surrogate parents for a couple that cannot have a child and they will take care of all the needs for the pregnancy. With these two options you most likely will give up your parental rights to the people once the baby is born. An abortion is a choice only the girl can make with guidance because that is something that is very difficult for some to live with that they terminated a life and that is her ultimate choice. If the parents choose to help with babysitting when your not working or she's not going to school consider yourselves blessed. They don't have to just because the two of you decided to play house. There are a lot of families that work this out just fine but understand both of your parents are not the ones that should have the brunt of this responsibility, it is yours and hers. If the two of you decide not to stay together now or in the future, just remember this child did not ask to be born but deserves to have to mature people be responsible for their well-being. I can suggest that if the two of you decide to keep the baby, have her go down to the DCF in your county and get her on the WIC program, its not welfare, its a program that gives the mom healthy foods to eat while pregnant and after baby is born as well as check ups to keep baby healthy, from the start. There is also the Head start program that helps young couples with doctor check ups and insurance for baby. Good luck and in the future use protection. The two of your lives are about to change in a direction that is a tough road, but a blessing too.
  • I know that 14 year olds feel they know what is best for them and that they can handle anything. For most the is not true. Raising a baby is a lot of work. Any parents that would accept the fact an 18 year old man (or older) got their 14 year old daughter pregnant needs to give their head a shake.
  • I am also one that doesn't believe in pressing charges against a person who gets a 14 year old pregnant. It resolves nothing! I'd be blasted sure this young man worked his backside off to support his child forever how long it took and short of seeing the child I would not want my daughter near him.
  • At 18 a so-called man of this age knows what they are doing. They are still part child, part man and believe they are either in love or most likely enjoys just having sex and not obviously mentally stable enough to realize a pregnancy can occur.
  • Kid's of 14 may think they know all there is about sex, but the bottom line is, they don't or they wouldn't be pregnant!
  • As far as a young mom of 14 working get a life! You are too young, not educated enough to get a good job that would provide you with a roof over your head, food, medical (which you will certainly need with having a new baby and it's not right to expect a parent or parents to pick up the bill for your mistakes! I have no doubt some parents would do this, but for the young woman in trouble when she expects this from her parents this is a total sign of disrespect for her parent's lives and plain gall!
  • Since a 14 year old is a baby themselves then it's up to the older of the two to sustain from sex and realize that this young female is simply a babe with little experience. Oh, by the way, before you 14 year olds come at me for that last statement that having sex "squeaking the sheets" doesn't make you a woman or gives you the capacity to know everything there is about sex or what love is! Also, other than the one poster that obviously comes from another country, the rest of the posts have terrible spelling errors which is a sure sign that you aren't fully educated and without education you can't get a good job in order to support yourself or your child. Mom and dad aren't there to support your habits!
  • Buck up to the plate, go to both sets of parents at the same time with the plan the two of you have come up with to handle the situation. You must be in agreement of how you will proceed. There are many options the two of you have. Having the baby, not having the baby, adopting the baby out, or becoming surrogates. The main thing is are the two of you ready for parenthood and will you stay together. Your parents will probably not be happy but don't forget they have been there and will have some answers and guidance for you. Open your ears and listen to what they have to say.All i can say is this: I am currently sexually active with an 18 year old. He comes to see me and stays the night at my house all the time without my parents finding out. I am only 14. A couple of months ago I got pregnant with his baby. We were going to tell my parents, but we went to the doctors the day we were going to tell them and found out that i miscarried. I miscarried because i didn't take care of myself or eat right. You definitely need to tell the parents and you need to take care of yourself if you wanna keep it.
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You should talk to your girlfriend about it. Talk to her about how it makes you feel when you see her flirting with other guys.

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...unprotected sex right after her period should do the job.

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if your girlfriend/you is pregnant you should keep it cause when i was 14 i got my girlfriend pregnant and i wasnt sure if i loved her so we didnt keep it and had an abortion im 17 now i still hate the disicion we made but this is my opinion hope this helps!

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Well Did he do it before or while you guys were together?

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I think you should.. Its a beautiful thought.. After all, she is carrying and nurturing the baby already.


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