Can a narcissist isolate his wife from society?

Answer 1

For the same reason cult leaders do. They don't want any "voices of reason" undermining their plans or their quest for control. They don't want any family members, friends, clergy, etc. to get in the way of what they are trying to achieve. Its easier to brainwash someone if your voice is the only voice they ever hear.

~ T

I like this question because it signifies a Narcissistic control tactic that overpowered me. I am no longer with the N. I was the one who called a halt to a relationship that was totally governed by him...in fact the only control I ever did have was severing the relationship point blank. My partner isolated me in every fashion he knew possible...this does not mean that he enjoyed my company when he had me in his clutches. On the contrary, although my dedication to him was total, at the cost of injuring all other worthwhile relationships, he was never satisfied with me, per se.

He would constantly belittle my actions and comments, would tease me about my appearance or 'suggest' I make changes to same; continually gave me instructions on how best do the most mundane tasks that I had been capable of doing since birth, tormented me about my driving skills, kept on asking me to speak up ("I can't hear you"!); nastilly ran down my children, mother, siblings, friends (and cats) and outlined the shortcomings of each individual and how they were doing wrong by me; would ignore me for lengthy periods of time until he had a few drinks whereby afterwards he would become all cutsie and uncontrollable (this pattern assumed itself day in, day out); never once bought me a birthday or Christmas present but made a hoopla about each occassion when it related to him; refused to have any physical contact for days; arranged each of my days according to his plans; sulked or became furious if I altered any arrangement made by him; questioned every phone call I received; left me stranded in foreign places when he was angry and left me to find my own way back (to home, hotel, camp site etc); intentionally ogled other women; made outrageous promises that he never kept; ignored me when I was hospitalised with a serious condition; hell...the list goes on.

For months I believed that him wanting me 'to himself' was a sign of affection. Anyone who understands how Ns work will acknowledge how I believed this. My relationship went from one of total control with isolation to desertion. The N travelled the globe for a year, alone.On his return it took him days to contact me and when he did it was only to ask for my help with something that would benefit him...I knew it was time to go.

When Ns isolate you you become dependent on them and their way of life...it takes a while to adjust back into the real world after leaving an N but if you can actually make the break and resume normal life again you will rejoice and celebrate it with so much vigour that ideas of being back with the N will assume the status of nightmares. Trust me...you can leave!

Isolation is about power and control. It is also about the perpetrator having a low sense of self esteem. I counseled a woman whose husband took their phones out of the house as he was leaving for work. They lived in a rural area and she did not have a car so she was completely isolated.

I also worked with a perp who put his wife's car on blocks for the purpose of isolating her from family and friends.

Answer 2

yes, they can make you feel NOT included with family or friends. your not in their plans. When you are around his friends especially, you are looked at as if you are interupting something!