Why would a controlling man let you do all the bill paying and the running around if he thought of you as incompetant?
You answered your own question "Controlling Man!" Why wouldn't he keep you feeling incompetent of doing things when he knows this is the way he can push your buttons so you'll work harder at doing some of the things he should be doing when you'll do it all for him? Think about it! Nip the in the bud and tell him like it is .... "You start sharing in some of the responsibilities or that's the end of our relationship!" It takes two to have a relationship and the responsibilities that go with them. If you aren't working then you should pay bills, do the shopping, but, if you are both working then he should be sharing some of this with you. Let him pay the bills and you do the shopping.