Can you give me some funny sentences?

Answer 1

hi im kat im going to tell you some funy jokes that will make any body lagh

1.ah i remember back in kinder garden when my best friend didnt know the alphabet even though his name is Richard a verry smart name he is the lowest graded kid so i will tell you about my first day of kinder garden i was the only girl there yet so i went in and met some boys there were 5 boys so far and their names were Joseph nickolas Patrick and Richard so when school started our teacher mrs.gribble asigned us home work to learn the alphabet so that night at my friend Richards house his family was all busy then Richard remembered he had work to do so he went to his older sister first and said sissy what is the first letter of the alphabet his sister replied shut up im on the phone so he next went to his little sister who was only 3 and he asked her sissy whats the second letter of the alphabet she replied Dora Dora Dora the explorer then he went t ohis dad who was watching a colts game daddy whats the third letter of the alphabet the colts just got a touch down he replied yes yes yes then Richard went to his mom who was cooking dinner mommy whats the forth letter of the alphabet his mom replied my buns are ready so the next day Richard went to school the teacher called on him Richard why don't you go first an do the first four letters of the alphabet so he stood up went to the front of the class and the teacher told him begin so he did he said the first letter of the alphabet is .... shut up im on the phone the teacher shreicked who do you think you are he said Dora Dora Dora the explorer his teacher looking even more mad asked do you need a trip to the principles office he said yes yes yes so when Richard got to the principles office the principle asked do you need a spanking Richard said my buns are ready

2. a duck walks into a resturaunt and orders the special when the waitress came back the waitress asked how would you like to pay sir the duck replied just put it on my bill

3. what does a little wich want for her birthday or Christmas .......... a haunted doll house

4.a girl scout was selling cookies she went up to this emo dude ,his wife ,and three kids and the oldest Emily asked hey girlscout how much are the cookies the girl scout said oh only 50 cents a box the middle child Fredrick asked well are they made with real girl scouts not artificual the girlscout got worried and peed her pants and said they are not made with girlscouts then the baby mimi went bleck then the family walked away

5.a vampier and were wolf walk into a store the wolf is a girl the vampier is a boy what will happen

a.they will go all twilight on each other

b.they will ask eachouther out

c.the werewolf will hiss and the vampier will howl

or d. they will pass out in the diry section

......... if you guessed letters a b and c you were right they first go twilight on each other then the vampier howls and the werewolf hisses then they ask each other out

6.why did the angry little boy wizard turn his big sisters friends at her slumber party in to old men .... because he thought his sister neede to man up

7 if humens say that a dog is mans best friend then what is a womans best friend

a.her boobs b.a cat

c.a horse d. a man

the awnser was ......... d a man

sorry that's all for jokes for now sorry next time there will be more i promise

Answer 2

What do you call men in a car?

Answer: Carmen!

Q: Why did Tigger look in the toilet?

A: He was looking for Pooh!

Two dragons walk into a bar; one says, "God, it's hot in here" and the other replied, "Shut your mouth."

Three guys are in a helicopter flying over an ocean. A Japanese guy, a Spanish guy, and an American. The pilot says, "We're losing altitude. Throw something off!" The Japanese guy throws off some electronics and says, "We have enough of this in our country." The Spanish guy throws off some marijuana and says, "We have enough of this in our country." The American guy pushes off the Japanese guy and says, "We have enough of them in our country."

Three guys are in a car - Shut Up, Your Manners, and Burps. Shut Up is driving and Burps rolls down the window and flies out. Your Manners gets out and looks for him. Shut Up goes on and drives into town. He is speeding and gets pulled over. The police officer asks sir what's your name? he says "Shut Up." The police officer asks, "Son what is your name?" Again he says, "Shut Up." Finally the police officer says, "Boy just tell me your name!" He says shut up. The cop asks, "Sir, where are Your Manners?" Shut Up replies, "About a half mile back looking for Burps."

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What can you catch but not throw? A cold.

How does a farmer count is cows? A moooooulator

Teacher: If you had 25 marbles in your back pocket, 17 in your left, and 23 in your right, what would you have?

Student: I would have heavy pants.

Student: I feel sorry for you.

Supernintendent: And why is that?

Student: It sounds like your bored of education.

Why did the Muffin Man rob a garden? He needed flower.

What is black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? 101 Dalmatians.

Doctor: Are you pregnant?

Patient: No, I just swallowed a watermelon seed.

How did Rick beat his brother up? Rick got up at six and his brother go up at eleven!

Why did the therapist give Neosporin to her patient? There was an appointment!

John: You know, my cousin is a planter.

Kelly: He must have a lot of warts!

What do you get when you cross a rooster and a poodle? Cock-a-POODLE-doo.

What's the difference between roast beef and pee soup? Anyone can roast beef, but nobody can pee soup!

What do you get when you come across a toilet and a gift box? a gift box with my poo in it!

What do you do when your Mom swallows a seed? Get ready for a big baby!

What do you do when it gets cold in Florida? Get ready for Disney On Ice!

What do you get when you come across a big boat and a paddle? a Paddle Ship.

Why did the roast call the cops? There was beef on the loose!

Customer: Waiter! Waiter! There's a fly in my fruit salad!

Waiter: Don't worry, it's just a fruit fly.

What is pink and holds money? A pinky bank!

What do you get when you come across a steering wheel and a can of beer? A drunk driver!

What do you get when you come across college and a scholarship? Princeton University!

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Cat.

Cat who?

Caddy, Wanna play?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Orange!

Orange Who?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Orange!

Orange Who?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

grape!

grape Who?

Aren't you grapefull I didn't say Orange?

What do you get when you come across The Wheels On The Bus and A Thunderstorm?

The power on the electric goes On and off, On and Off, On and Off! The power on the electric goes On and Off, All Through The House!

How did the gymnast spring her hands? She did a handspring!

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Bag!

Bag Who?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Old!

Old Who?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Hag!

Hag Who?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Bag Of!

Bag Of Who?

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Twenty!

Twenty Who?

YOU'RE A FAT BAG OF TWENTY OLD HAGS!

What do you get when you come across Gray hair, and a bag? A Bag Of An Old Hag!

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Answer!

Answer Who?

IF YOU'VE GOT ANTS IN YOUR PANTS ABOUT SOMETHING ASKED HER, HEAD ON DOWN TO WIKI ANSWERS!

Question: What is a pirate's favorite letter?

Reply from whomever (most likely they'll say this): Arr (meaning r)

YOUR REPLY: Ah, you think it's the r but it's really the c (referring to the sea)!

a person walked into an office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and nice denim jacket. thinking this was a littlie strange, he asked her why she was wearing them instead of old clothes or overalls. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "for best results. put on two coats"

a blonde asked someone what time it was, and they said it was 4:45. the blonde witha puzzled look on her face replied, "you know its wierd, ive been asking tht question all day and i always get a different answer"

how do you confuse a blonde girl? put her in a round room and tell her to go sit in the corner.

blonde- " what does IDK mean "?

brunnette- " i don't know "

blonde- "OMG no one knows!!"

there was a blonde, brunnette, and a redhead in a third grade class room.

which ones the cutest?............................. the blonde because shes 18.

Answer 3

Some funny sentences include:

A bus station is where a bus stops, a train station is where a train stops, at my desk i have a work station.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

The Evening News is where they start with 'Good Evening' then precede to tell you why it isn't.

Going to church doesn't make you a christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing i want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound, this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If i agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Some people are like Slinkies ~ not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

I thought i wanted a career turns out i just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

I didn't say it was your fault, i said i was blaming you.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way you look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I hav'NT slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with them later.

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!

Mark my words. No, Mark, I really need my words.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there in the room talking to you, which is why I don't like to read good books.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

Answer 4

knock knock whos there boo boo who sorry i didn't mean to make you cry

Answer 5

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. ~Charles Schulz

Answer 6

Some types of comedy are really funny, and some are not.