Do serial killers learn their lesson?

Answer 1

10 top business lessons from serial killers

You might or might not know I'm fascinated by serial killers. Yes, they're humanity gone deeply, fundamentally and spectacularly wrong. But they're not all bad...

Well, they are all bad. They're foul. But you can learn solid business lessons from the way they carry out their dreadful work. And entertain yourself at the same time, if you're of a ghoulish persuasion!

Here's my top 10 business lessons you can learn from serial killers:

Have A Passion

Serial killers are dedicated, determined and utterly focused on what they do. But they often live an outwardly normal life. Take a leaf out of their book. While you're at work, immerse yourself in it. When you shut up for the day, return to ''normal'. Don't let your work bleed into your leisure time, or vice versa. Aim your intellectual fire where it'll cause the most damage and keep your best business weapon - your brain - scarily sharp.

Pick a Target Market

Serial killers often have a very clear (if mad) idea of the kind of people they want to knock off. Turn their obsession with targeting into something positive by figuring out the type of people who are most likely to buy your stuff. Then take aim and fire your marketing campaigns directly at their chests. Bang.

Planning Planning Planning

If you're a natural planner this'll be no problem. But if you're a fire-from-the-hip kind of person, a small business Big Leggy with as much impulse control as John Wayne, you'll have more of a task on your hands. Rein yourself in and gaffer tape yourself to your desk 'til you've planned your business's future sensibly. Even if it means you starve. Or find someone who can hold your hand through the torture and do the hard bits for you.

Research & Recce

A serial killer has an uncannily detailed understanding of his (they're very rarely female) environment. They have an intimate understanding of what's going on around them. Unless they're at the meltdown stage, where a tiny but insistent part of their psyche wants them to be caught, they'll research and recce more than once. Act like a meticulous serial killer. Evaluate and measure everything once. Then do it again. Then do it a third time. Explore your competitive landscape. Then do it again. And again. Now you know what's going on. And the f***ers won't catch you. Pardon my French.

Trial Runs

This is especially important in all sorts of areas. Serial killers are also meticulous about trying things out first to ensure perfect execution. Presentations for a start. Don't just turn up and mutter. Prepare and practise. It might take more time, but it'll be much more productive and successful, so you win. If you don't have time, get admin support organised and free up what you need. Trial marketing campaigns too. Never assume something is going to work. Try it on a smaller scale before rolling something out to everyone and his dog. Ditto product development and so on. You name it, trial it first to make it the best you can.

Thinking Of The Consequences If You Don't Get It Right From The Start

Following on from the above, it's difficult to get het up about something if you're not 100% au fait with the consequences if things go belly up. You don't want disasters slicing the fat off your profits. Luckily simply being aware of the best and worst scenarios gives you the intelligence you need to act wisely. Do a best, middle and worst scenario for everything you do where it makes business sense. Get in the habit and it'll see you through hard times.

Having A Back Up Plan

One of the most horrible things about serial killers is they're so intelligent. More so than average. You'd have thought they'd have the inner resources to take a nicer route through life. But that's psychopaths for you. Like them, if you don't want to be caught out you need a rugged backup plan. It's all very well having all this stuff in your head, by the way, but creating a document makes it real and forces you to take yourself seriously. Serial killers often create a weird, creepy shrine. You should be fine with a Word document or Excel spreadsheet.

Follow Up Properly

Don't leave loads of loose ends hanging around. Treat every project like a crime scene. Clear up so there's not a trace of mess left. Make every project a thing of perfection and beauty from start to finish. If you're not a natural completer-finisher, get someone in to help.

Don't Get Sloppy & Don't Wing It

Don't get complacent, whatever you do. That's when serial killers get caught. They exceed the speed limit, leave their DNA at a burglary scene or leave their equipment in clear view through a window. They lose their temper in view of a CCTV camera. Or nick and fry someone's cat. Make yourself check and verify things. You can guarantee the one time you don't check is the time you run into trouble. It's one of the laws of the universe.

Planning Your Exit If Things Go Belly Up

If things go really, really wrong it's sensible to have a plan in place for that too. Serial killers carry their meticulous, obsessive planning right through to the end, some having detailed exit plans in place to help them disappear at a moment's notice. Obviously you don't want to disappear. But knowing what to do if things go wrong helps you back away from a project with minimal mayhem and chaos. Be honest and know where the cracks in your plans lie. It's much easier to make a backup plan when you know exactly where the threats are. Take note and keep note of your vulnerabilities. And plug them the best you can, planning for every eventuality while avoiding veering into black paranoia.

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//What most serial killers suffer from is lack of conscious, officially speaking, Antisocial Personality Disorder, or APD. It is not a mental illness but a defect in their personality, which cannot be fixed or altered much by any treatment known to mankind. It also means that what they are is what they will stay. The act of incarceration is more for the protection of the public than the punishment of the killer. They don't 'learn their lesson' and reform for the simple fact that their basic personality is defective from the very earlist years of their lives.//