How do you cope with a narccisstic sociopathic spouse?

Answer 1

I know your pain. My mother's husband during my childhood and teen years was sociopathic. My best advice is to hide as often and possible and look for a good boarding school. Many states have publicly-funded boarding schools for students who are gifted in certain areas. That's what I did. Other than that, just pray for college to come soon!

Answer 2

By leaving. Narcissists don't want to change so what ever you do to try to deal with them or the situation will be just play a part of the predator game of cat and mouse, using and abusing you and burning you out.

Answer 3

Sociopaths

A sociopath is defined as an individual with apsychopathic personality - whose behaviour may often be antisocial or even criminal. A sociopath also lacks a sense of moral responsibility and/or social conscience.
Very often, sociopaths can become very controlling in relationships. Dictating what the other partner wears, who the partner can be friends with, what the partner does in their spare time and so on. In many cases, the control can escalate into domestic violence.

Many sociopaths are very quick to marry their partner. They usually marry because:

• The partner provided a source of respect
• The partner provided a safe mother/father figure
• The partner has good financial assets (money in the bank, house, car, etc)
• The partner is easily submissive towards the other

Recognising sociopaths

Sociopaths are very good at lying and claim that their word is always correct and that everything is "their right". They also show a lack of remorse or guilt and have shallow emotions. They can be secretive and paranoid, keeping things to themselves while constantly accusingothersof things.

They show a lack of empathy towards others, particularly when someone is hurt. Some sociopaths (not all) may burst into laugher when they witness someone being hurt. Somepsychologicalreports seem to suggest that sociopaths may also be risky gamblers, often losing large sums of money in casinos or online gambling websites.

Many sociopaths were "criminal children", or juveniles - committing crime at an early age, particularly car theft, joy riding, mugging, burglary, assaulting police, unprovoked violence and disregard for public safety. Some are also known to have been or be cruel to animals.

Sociopaths also show signs of increased sexual infidelity. Unusually demanding constant sex. During sexual intercourse, sociopaths tend to be violent and rough with their partners, sometimes staging a rape role-play. In extreme cases, sociopaths decide role-playing rape isn't enough.

You

If you want to try and keep your marriage to a sociopath (I personally don't recommend you do), then your partner will need large amounts of counselling.

One thing you need to be aware of - nothing is your fault. Even if your sociopath partner claims you are to "blame" - you are not. It's common for sociopaths to blame everyone but themselves.

You probably feel drained. Emotionally on edge. Exhausted. Weak. Scared. You probably feel a great deal of love for your partner, despite his/her sociopathic ways.

This is what a psychopath relies on, to keep you under their wing. Your own fear and love is the only weapon they have against you.

If your partner is not violent, you can suggest a counselling session, maybe marriage counselling. Your partner needs to see a professional in order to deal with the underlying issues that are causing him/her to be sociopathic. It's not something you can fix yourself,unfortunately.

Look at it as a giant complex computer with millions of wires connected to it. Some of those wires are loose or plugged in the wrong places. That computer is the mind of a sociopath.

So,unfortunatelythe only way to try and salvage the marriage is to get the partner to see a professionalcounsellor.

Children

If you have children, I thoroughly do not recommend sticking around with your partner, for their sake. Children, when they witness violence, tend to imitate what they have seen upon other people. Their constant worry for you will also negatively affect their education.

Also, if one of the children speak out to a teacher, in order to try and save you (because they love you), by law, the teacher has to report such things to theauthorities,to protect the children. This can result in the local government placing the children in protective care.

Escape

My personal advice andtheadvice of millions of people who were once in your position is to forget the marriage. A marriage is about loving and caring for one another. Not control, hurt and violence. Nobody should be scared of their own partner.

The feelings of love you are feeling is probably being caused by a natural psychological repressing effect to protect you, similar to Stockholm Syndrome (a condition in which kidnapvictimsdevelop love and feelings for their captor).

The fact is, you do deserve better than being controlled and potentially being a target for physical and sexual violence.

Escaping from a sociopathic marriage takes very careful planning.

Taken from various sources fromsurvivorsaccounts here is some advice to help you plan your escape:

1. Learn your partners schedule. When is s/he out of the house? When does s/he work? When does s/he leave to socialise, gamble, etc?
   
   
2. Where are the details and/or card to your marriage savings account? See if you can locate them. Remember where they are, don't touch them yet.
   
   
3. Have a clear idea of where your "safe zones" are. Your safe zones are houses of families, houses of friends, hospitals, police stations or places with plenty of security (local government offices, banks, etc).
   
   
4. Now once you have done the research, you can put your plan in action. When you know your partner is out, pack a bag. Make sure you have at least 5 or 7 days worth of clothes, some spending money, some identification (passport/birth certificate), the marriage savings account details (if you found them) and some small food supplies - tinned or dried food would be best. If you have children, pack a bag each for them too, but make sure they're light enough for the children to carry themselves. If you have a mobile phone, take that too.
   
   
5. Leave the house while your partner is not in. First stop - the bank. Withdraw what you can from the marriage savings account. You're not breaking the law by withdrawing without permission, because the account is bound to you by marriage. This is your money too.
   
   
6. Try any way you can to get to one of the main safe zones (houses, police or hospital). Use a bus if you need, particularly if you have children. I would advise going to the home of a family member, you can stay there under their protection.
   
   
7. Once you have escaped, you need to begin a fresh start to your life. You can talk to the police about the abuse you have endured, to get some justice and compensation. You can talk to a solicitor to file a divorce without having to get in touch with the partner yourself (if you go to the police, a divorce would be easier because the law is on your side). You can also look around for homes to rent or look to housing associations for help. Because you are a victim, they will help you.
   
   
8. If you have no nearby family or friends to run to, try seeking a domestic violence refuge or charity. The police and your local government can also help and point you intheright direction to get a roof over your head.

Escaping will not be easy. But, according to the hundreds of survivors accounts I have seen (and basing this escape plan on) - it is worth it in the long run.

You are not alone. There are allies on your side, including the most powerful one you can get - the law. Good luck.

Answer 4

You don't.
You see a tough lawyer and get out.

www.vainencounters.com