Weve been together for 9 mths he just got out of a relationship of 5 yrs with a 9 yr old stepson I want to take it to the next level how should I approach him?

Answer 1

First you really need to ask yourself if this is what you want. A man who already has a family. Those people in his family are going to come before you. Put yourself in his shoes. If you had a son and your new man came in the middle of you two, you'd choose your son. You're going to have to be okay with always being in second place. Ok next it's only been 9 months. That's still the 'getting to know each other' phase. I know what it's like to meet someone and think he's just the best there is and nothing can come between you two and you're just always on cloud nine. But think about what you've experienced together so far. Can you really judge him on his actions in different situations? What I'm saying is, has there been a death? financial issues? big sudden changes? If so, how has he dealt with these things? You may not approve of the actions he takes to deal with hard situations. Finally, if none of this matters, and he's still flying high with colors, then you simply tell him how you feel. No one likes it when their partners beat around the bush. And if this has been weighing on you for some time, chances are you've been acting differently around him. He can tell. Just come out with it, "Joe, I know we've only been seeing each other about 9 months but they've been the best 9 months I've had in a long time. I was hoping, if you feel the same, that we take it to the next level." See what he says, if he's hesitant, don't get upset. Don't pressure him at all. Let him make his own decision. And even if what he chooses isn't what you had in mind, don't let it get you down. If he still wants to continue the relationship and he's just not ready yet, go ahead, it could come with time. I will warn you though, don't let him have his cake and eat it too. If you are having relations with this man, he might just be using you. Chances are though if you want to go to the next level he will too. Get in there and tell the man how you feel. He might just be waiting for you to break the ice!!