["Half a crate of whiskey every day","'Bout the raising of the wrist","Hobbes was fond of his dram","","Plato, they say, could stick it away","Who could think you under the table","Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed","Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel","","","Immanuel Kant was a real pissant","There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya","But a bugger when he's pissed","Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle","And Wittgenstein was a beery swine","Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar","Who was very rarely stable","A lovely little thinker","David Hume could out-consume","","John Stuart Mill, of his own free will","On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill","Schopenhauer and Hegel","Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed","","\"I drink, therefore I am\"","And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart"]
Performed by: Monty Python
Written by: Eric Idle
Credits: Idle, Eric (Songwriter); KAY-GEE-BEE MUSIC LTD (Publisher)