Captain Hans Geering

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'Allo 'Allo! character
Captain Hans Geering
Nationality	German Naturalised-British
Occupation	Captain
First appearance	Pilot: The British Are Coming
Last appearance	Camp Dance Up the Crick Without a Piddle(Guest appearance)
Portrayed by	Sam Kelly

Captain Hans Geering is a fictional character from the British sitcom series 'Allo 'Allo!. He was played by actor Sam Kelly.

Outline

First episode

Hans is Colonel Kurt Von Strohm's assistant and usually comes with him to the café. (Although not stated on screen, the screenplay says Hans is the Colonel's brother-in-law.) His rank is that of Captain, which is equal to Hauptmann in the Wehrmacht. The rank is denoted by two gilted stars, and the white band around the epaulette gives his arm of service as infantry. In the first episode, however, his uniform is that of a leutnant, one rank junior to Captain, although he is still referred to as Captain Geering. Hans likes to fool around with the waitress Maria Recamier - while the Colonel prefers Yvette Carte-Blanche - of which he partakes preferentially with egg whisk and/or wet celery (these of course constitute sex toys) for which it is not uncommon to pay extra.

In Episode 1 Hans and the Colonel get their uniforms stolen by René in order to help the British Airmen. They are forced to hide in the waitresses' bedroom.

Development

Hans develops the habit of greeting other officers with the abbreviated line "-tler" (for 'Heil Hitler'). When Hans says this line, many viewers unaccustomed to the programme perceive him as saying 'clop', however this is not the case. He also seems to easily slip into Anti-German thinking as on more than one occasion after learning of something bad another german has done or Germans have done in general he will exclaim "German swine!"

Leaving the series

In the opening episode of Series 4, René, Edith, the waitresses, the Colonel, the British Airmen and Hans are trying to escape a prisoner-of-war camp (Stalag Luft IV, although that camp is actually in Poland). Hans is used for the first test of their escape mechanism, a wooden see-saw. After René jumps from the roof of a hut onto one end, Hans is propelled from the other over the fence, where Communist Resistance girls pick him up and disappear into the woods.

It emerges (via a radio conversation in the following episode) that Hans was mistaken for a British airman by the Communist Resistance and sent to Britain, where he is now working for British Intelligence. The war is over for Hans, and also his role as a main character in 'Allo 'Allo!

Reappearing

In Season 7, René and Yvette are planning to make their way to England in an aeroplane, originally destined for the British airmen. However, it is Edith that accidentally goes with René. They land in London, and Winston Churchill requests their presence. However, they are taken to Intelligence first. Seeing that they are not the airmen, the Intelligence boss calls his interpreter, Captain Hans Geering. However, upon entering the room, he doesn't seem to have gotten rid of the habit of raising his hand and greeting them with a loud 'tler!'. When alone with René and Edith, he explains how he became an English citizen and an ally (as he revealed in "The Great Unescape", he was sent to school in Coventry). He also reveals that he found out, while working with the Intelligence, that René is a Resistance activist.

Hans, a naturalised British citizen, speaks English with an upper-class, "old-chap" British accent. It is revealed that he knew how to speak English even back in Nouvion. He takes René and Edith to some important places in London. By night, René and Edith return home.