Originally applied specifically to (young) women.

Hyt ys an old Englysch sawe [saying]: ‘A mayde schuld be seen, but not herd.’
[c 1400 J. Mirk Festial (EETS) I. 230]

Bbb2 This also must honest maids provide, that they be not full of tongue. ‥A maid should be seen, and not heard.
[1560 T. Becon Works I.]

It is a vulgar maxim, ‘that a pretty woman should rather be seen than heard’.
[1773 R. Graves Spiritual Quixote I. iii. xviii.]

My dear mother's constant lesson in childhood, that children in company should be seen and not heard.
[1820 J. Q. Adams Memoirs (1875) V. xii.]

‘You think that children should be seen and not heard then?’ asked the novelist.
[1959 M. Bradbury Eating People is Wrong ii.]

But although mothers may not want to draw attention to themselves,‥there is never any guarantee that their baby‥has yet learnt the old maxim that children should be seen and not heard.
[2002 Times 2 2 May 8]

Related to: children; manners

Bibliography of major proverb collections and works cited from modern editions is available here.

The Oxford Dictionary of Proverbs. Copyright © 1982, 1992, 1998, 2003, 2004 by Oxford University Press. All rights reserved.