co-dependent

or co·de·pen·dent (kō'dĭ-pĕn'dənt)
adj.

1. Mutually dependent.
2. Of or relating to a relationship in which one person is psychologically dependent in an unhealthy way on someone who is addicted to a drug or self-destructive behavior, such as chronic gambling.

n.
One who is co-dependent or in a co-dependent relationship.

codependence co'de·pen'dence or co'de·pen'den·cy n.

For more information on codependency, visit Britannica.com.

Origin: 1987

In the 1980s, even if we did not wake up with a hangover, we learned that waking up next to a significant other (1953) with a hangover is a hangup in itself. The hangup of the non-addicted is addiction to the addicted. Get it?

If that's confusing, maybe we needed a new word. So we put it this way: In such a situation, we suffer from a condition known as codependency or codependence. That is what we learned from the 1987 publication of Melody Beattie's book Codependent No More, along with countless articles on the subject. We discovered that we had grown up in dysfunctional families (1981), where one of the adults was addicted to a substance like alcohol or drugs or to a behavior like gambling, sex, watching television, or even exercise, and the other adult was addicted to the addict. By helping the addicted one get through the day, the non-addicted family members were being codependent.

Since so many people can be said to exhibit some sort of addictive behavior, we discovered how normal it is to come from a dysfunctional family and be codependent. The codependency spreads because it makes children dysfunctional, leading them to enter into dysfunctional relationships as adults, either as addicts or as their codependents.

Fortunately, the 1980s also gave us the tools to combat codependency. We went to counselors, clinics, and support groups (1969) to share our feelings as "adult children" (1983). At the end of the decade, self-help reached its epitome when we learned to get in touch with our "inner child" (1990).

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