faux pas

A faux pas (IPA /ˌfoʊˈpɑː/, plural: faux pas /ˌfoʊˈpɑː(z)/) is a violation of accepted, although unwritten, social rules. Faux pas vary widely from culture to culture and what is considered good manners in one culture can be considered a faux pas in another. For example, in English-speaking Western countries, it is sometimes considered a thoughtful gesture to bring a bottle of wine when going to someone's house for dinner. In France, however, if the dinner is a bit formal, this is considered insulting as it suggests the hosts are unable to provide their own good wine. To bring wine to the home of teetotalers might suggest ignorance, obstinance, or ill intent.

Origin of term

The term comes from French and literally means "false step". However, it is a formal rather than everyday expression in French and does not generally have the figurative meaning used in English^{[dubious – discuss]}. It is occasionally employed to describe a physical loss of balance or general mistakes (for instance: mes faux pas dans la vie, the mistakes I made in my life)^{[dubious – discuss]}. If one uses faux pas with the English meaning in France, people might think it was a slight grammatical mistake with faut pas, the colloquial pronunciation of il ne faut pas, meaning must not in English^{[dubious – discuss]}. For faux pas with the English meaning, the French would usually say gaffe or erreur.^{[dubious – discuss]}

Examples

For a broader list, see List of faux pas.

• African regions: A left-handed handshake. Offering and accepting things with the left hand.
• Arab countries; Indian Subcontinent; Japan; Middle East; East Africa: South-East Asia: Displaying the soles of the feet or touching somebody with shoes. A left-handed handshake or passing food at the table with the left hand (because it's the hand you use to clean your anus when going to the bathroom).
• Arabic-speaking countries: Setting the Koran or religious literature on the floor. Using the intimate word for "wife" or "sister" when speaking to the woman's husband or brother. Euphemisms are to be used instead.
• Scandinavia; Central and Eastern Europe; Japan; China; Hawaii; Turkey; India: It is considered unacceptable to enter someone's household and leave your shoes on your feet. It is also considered impolite in many Canadian households, though this is by no means universal.
• Canada; Iceland: Describing women based on physical attractiveness, especially in writing.
• Caribbean: Waving at strangers. This can mean several things, one of which is that the gesturer may be trying to sell something.
• China: Giving someone a timepiece as a gift. The phrase for "giving a timepiece" is a homonym for burying the dead. It is also considered rude to eat first before the elders. Another faux pas at the dining table would be to eat a side dish without coming back to eating rice. This is also viewed as a faux pas in Japan as well.
• China: Giving a man a green hat. In Chinese culture, the gift of a green hat is a way of discreetly informing a husband that his wife is being unfaithful.
• Central and Eastern Europe: Shaking hands while wearing gloves (this does not apply to women).
• Egypt: Giving someone onions. The onion signifies contempt, and leaving one on someone's doorstep is a gesture meaning "Damn you."
• France; Francophone Canada: Using adieu as a common farewell, instead of au revoir. The former means "to God" and is used whn you believe you may never see the other person alive again; the latter means "until return" or "until we meet again". Using adieu can sometimes be interpreted as an insult, meaning that you wish for someone to die ("go to meet God"), or that you hope never to see the person alive again.
• France; Romania; Italy: Asking an individual their job or name directly. Offering someone a gift of chrysanthemums on an occasion other than a funeral (as chrysanthemums are generally associated with death in France, Italy and Romania).
• Greece: Showing the number five by displaying a hand with fingers spread and palm facing the recipient of the gesture is offensive. The same gesture with the palm facing the gesturer is not.
• India; Pakistan; Bangladesh; Burma: Eating or shaking hands with the left hand, not greeting family elders at a gathering, addressing elders without salutations.
• Italy: Placing one's hat on a bed, because it is reminiscent of the way a Roman Catholic priest sets his hat on a person's deathbed while performing last rites.
• Japan: When greeting or thanking another person, not bowing lower than an elder or a person of higher social status. Passing food from one pair of chopsticks to another is also considered rude. This is also viewed as a faux pas in other Asian countries such as China.
• Korea: Not bowing when greeting or thanking an elder or person higher in social status. Writing someone's name in red (which normally symbolizes death). Pouring a drink with one hand when serving a drink to an elder. Handing over objects to or receiving objects from an elder with one hand. Smoking in presence of an elder. Drinking alcoholic beverages in presence of an elder at the same table. (Upon the elder's permission, the person can have his or her drink facing the other way.) Eating before an elder at the same table starts to eat.
• Middle East: Addressing an elder or person higher in social status with his/her bare name. Words like uncle/aunt, (elder) brother/sister or formally Mr./Mrs. are expected to be used.
• India;Pakistan: Using the pronoun "tum" or "too" (you), instead of "aap" (formal you) when talking to an elder or a stranger. Walking with shoes on the carpet inside a house. Calling an elder or a stranger of the opposite sex with just their name.
• Romania; Republic of Moldova; Russia; Slovakia; Czech Republic; Croatia; Hungary; Serbia;Republic of Macedonia; Poland; Bulgaria; Ukraine; Estonia; Lithuania; Latvia: Giving somebody an even number of flowers, which should only be done in funerals.
• Philippines, Central America: A man offering to carry a woman's personal belongings, as at an airport or train station. This is considered a form of flirting.
• Latin America, Arabic-speaking countries, Somalia: Beckoning with the index finger. This is considered patronizing because the gesture is used to beckon small dogs. Instead other gestures are used. In Mexico and Central America, for example, the entire hand is held at face level, pointed down, and used to beckon a person to come toward the gesturer.
• South America, Spain, and other Spanish-speaking countries: Neglecting to greet someone at a social / family gathering. Any kind of large gathering of friends or family should be started by greeting every person present, and making sure to say goodbye upon leaving. This rule is more relaxed in a group of young people. Generally these formalities are far more relaxed in Latin America than in Spain.
• Thailand: Stepping over or standing on bills or coins; they all have the face of the King, who is highly revered. Also, touching a Thai person on their head, as the head is considered a sacred part of the body. Food must be kept above the ground level. Pointing feet at someone, or touching someone with a foot is considered disrespectful and insulting.
• United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa: The "V sign", made by holding the middle and index fingers up so as to form a V-shape (such as when indicating "two" of something), is considered offensive when made with the back of the hand pointed towards the listener, particularly when done so with an upward thrust. It is seen as having similar meaning to "the finger". With the hand held the other way, so the palm points towards the listener, the otherwise identical gesture is perfectly acceptable.
• United States: Blowing one's nose into anything but a tissue or handkerchief, nose and ear picking, and burping or sneezing without covering one's mouth are all considered disgusting and very rude.
• Various countries: In countries with a language that contains a T-V distinction, it is a faux pas to use the informal second person pronoun instead of the formal second person pronoun when addressing an elder or stranger.
• Bangladesh;India; Pakistan: Stepping/sitting on paper, books, money, religious items is considered inappropriate in Bangladesh, India, and Pakistan.
• Indonesia: Using the personal second person pronoun "kamu" or the shortened form "mu" (meaning "you"), instead of the impersonal "anda" when addressing someone you do not know.

See also

• Cultural diversity
• Etiquette in Africa
• Etiquette in Asia
• Etiquette in Australia and New Zealand
• Etiquette in Canada and the United States
• Etiquette in Europe
• Etiquette in Latin America
• Etiquette in the Middle East
• Intercultural competence
• Worldwide etiquette

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