She still loved him, but his constant nitpicking started to enervate her. The word enervate can be used as a verb or an adjective.

The elderly man didn't participate in the marathon because he knew it would enervate him.

I will enervate and destroy my opponent.

Shouted abuse from the fans could easily enervate a professional sports player.

Seeing spiders used to unsettle me.

"I guess her goal was to unnerve me..."

appall, bother, consternate, daunt, discompose, dismay, distress, disturb, frighten, horrify, impair, intimidate, jar, knock props out, make waves, move, rattle, throw, throw a curve, undermine, unnerve, unsettle, unstring, upset, weaken, worry