Frot

Two men frotting.

Frot is a slang term (ult. from the French verb frotter, "to rub") describing a form of male/male non-penetrative sex, where two men engage in the rubbing of erect penis on erect penis — typically while fully nude and in a frontal embrace that allows simultaneous kissing, and often with a shared understanding that the frot is not merely foreplay to some other type of sex, but will instead continue until both men reach orgasm and ejaculation. Owing to its non-penetrative character, frot has the safe sex advantage of drastically minimizing transmission of HIV and other infections^{[citation needed]} without the inconvenience and expense of condoms and special lubricants.

Coined sometime in the late 1990s, the word frot (rhyming with "dot") was shortened from the term "frottage" (rhyming with "massage"), a more generic and unisex term for various types of non-penetrative genital rubbing.

Frot, physical pleasure, and psychological intimacy

Frot can be enjoyable because it mutually and simultaneously stimulates the genitals of both partners as it tends to produce pleasurable friction against the frenulum nerve bundle on the underside of each man's penile shaft, just below the urinary opening of the penis's "head".

An artificial "lube" may be applied before or during frot, and the use of such lubricant may be particularly advisable if one or both of the men is circumcised. Although it's essential to avoid oil-based lubes with latex condoms during any form of penetrative sex, virtually any non-allergenic lubricant is suitable for frot.

Subjectively, fans of frot report that the high degree of "erotic symmetry" inherent to frot can help induce a feeling of "deep sexual connection" without the need for physical penetration, and also bring about a greater sense of emotional intimacy than is suggested by terms such as "mutual masturbation" or "heavy petting." And many frot advocates assert that this symmetry will also tend to generate a strong sense of shared masculinity and reinforce a feeling of "equal partnership" for a male/male couple. (More controversially, some "frot radicals" have made the tendentious claim that anal sex between men must necessarily leave the receptive man feeling both emasculated and degraded in comparison to the penetrating man.)

Frot and safer sex

Since frot is a non-penetrative sex act, the risk of passing a sexually transmitted infection (STI) that requires direct contact between the mucous membranes and pre-ejaculate or semen is greatly reduced. Notably, HIV is among the diseases that require such direct contact, and is therefore very unlikely to be transmitted via frot ^[1]. On the other hand, frot can potentially provide an "invasion" opportunity for a few pathogenic organisms that need only skin-to-skin contact. In this category are the viruses causing genital herpes and genital warts, either of which can, in some cases, lead to serious health problems. At the same time, it should be understood that all of these "casually transmissible" diseases are just as likely, if not more so, to be transmitted during male/male anal intercourse as during frot.

The "frot v. anal sex" political controversy

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The sharp disparagement of anal sex by some frot advocates has led to vigorous disputes — often in terms connected more broadly to gay political ideology. Two of the charges often leveled against male/male anal sex by frot advocates are that even with a condom, the objective medical risks of being anally penetrated outweigh the subjective pleasure [1]; and furthermore, that in comparison to the "symmetry" of frot, anal sex tends to introduce an asymmetric and therefore "non-egalitarian" dimension to sex (i.e., one man is "the top" and the other "the bottom").

Furthermore, some critics of anal sex [2] argue that the current pervasiveness of this practice in the gay male community is a significant factor in making bisexual men reluctant to come out of the closet and discuss their same-sex attractions with female lovers and heterosexual male friends.

Finally, some advocates of frot have claimed that too many men needlessly endure the health risks of receptive anal sex ("bottoming") not so much because of the pleasure they experience as "bottoms," but because they are fearful of losing "top"-identified boyfriends, and also because of subtle but ubiquitous peer pressure in the gay male subculture at large.[3]

For their part, some gay men who defend the essential validity of anal sex have rejected most of the claims above, and have at times disparaged frottage as a makeshift, second-rate form of male/male intimacy — something better left to inexperienced teenagers and "closeted" older men. In addition, gay men who enjoy anal sex argue that gay men who dislike anal nonetheless have an obligation to defend the practice against purely homophobic attacks, especially so long as sodomy laws continue to be enforced in many countries.

Frot compared with "frottage"

Alternate points of view are that frottage in general is a unisex, or even female-oriented, sexual act. As described by one writer, frottage is "something that can be enjoyed with anyone. The same goes for transsexuals of any stripe. Frottage is the ultimate equal opportunity conjoiner...Lesbians are the unsung heroes of rubbing. They can do it like no one else can (picture a pair of scissors), and they even have their own name for it: tribadism, [a term derived from the Greek word for "rub", and that was] historically used interchangeably with lesbian."^[2] According to this way of looking at things, penetration, including anal penetration, is "male-defined" sexuality.^[3]

Similarly, the term "frictation" can refer to the wider meaning of "frottage"^[4] but it can also describe penis-penis sex specifically.^[5]

Partly because the word "frottage" was potentially ambiguous as a descriptive term for various permutations of non-penetrative sex in male/female and female/female contexts, and partly because frottage was sometimes stigmatized as "only foreplay" or "a substitute for the real thing," some MSM writers began using and recommending the shortened form "frot" with the specifically intended meaning of penis-to-penis sex as a favorite or even preferred act. That is, the short form carried implicit encouragement for men who had sex with men to "choose frot."

Origins of the term frot

The physical act described by the term "frot" -- that is, penis-to-penis rubbing between males—preexists the evolution of hominids into humans and bonobos, and occurs frequently in the homosexual activity of both of these genetically related species.^[6]

However, the concept of frot did not come into existence until very recently, when Bill Weintraub coined the term frot in 2000 in his article, "Frot: The Next Sexual Revolution", which calls on gay men to adopt "frot centered" sexuality and reject the "cultural deathgrip" of anal sexuality.

"This growing movement of men into frot who disown anal sex is not simply a matter of sexual taste. It goes farther than that, for it's a rejection of the overly and unhealthily feminized self-image of gay men that has dominated our lives for generations. It is like other masculinist impulses among the gay masses, a manifestation of the collective unconscious correcting a psychic phenomenon that has lingered too long in one direction. So it's no accident that men into frot reject almost every aspect of the anal sex worldview, embracing equality and masculinity as the essence of a gay male sexual experience, and often, though not always, seeking involvement in such traditional male contact sports as wrestling and boxing".

Thus, the concept of frot emerged in a context of a debate within the gay male community about the role of anal sex in gay culture, with some in the anti-anal, pro-frot camp insisting, as Weintraub did, that anal sex ought to be avoided altogether. Others argued that the popularity of anal sex would decline (presumably with a corresponding drop in HIV rates) if gay men could somehow be persuaded to stop thinking of anal sex as a "vanilla" practice, but rather as something "kinky" and not-quite-respectable—as was the case in the 1950s and 1960s, when homosexual men who preferred to do only mutual masturbation and fellatio sometimes used the mildly disparaging slang term "brownie queen"^[7] for aficionados of anal sex.

Nevertheless, the term frot no longer requires the assumption of hostility to anal sex. While some "frot activists," including Weintraub, argue that frot should be done to the absolute exclusion of anal sex (and perhaps also as a safer alternative to fellatio), others make the less extreme case that because of its very low STI risks, frot should merely be preferred to "penetrative" male/male intimacy, particularly in the case of men who choose not to be monogamous.

Synonyms

Before frot came into use as the technical term for this act, the available alternatives included frictation (though fricate can refer to any genital friction, including frottage, coitus and masturbation), and frontism.

Genito-genital rubbing or GG rubbing is a term frequently used by primatologists to describe tribadism among bonobo females.^[8] It is sometimes used in reference to bonobo males with the colorful term "penis fencing".

Genito-genital sex or genital-genital sex is a physically descriptive term for sex in which there is contact between the genitals, in the same naming convention as "genital-anal sex" and "genital-oral sex".^[9]

Usage in gay and mainstream culture

Slang terms for frot include "cock rub," "bumping dicks," "knocking cocks," "tummy stix," "Oxford style," "Princeton rub," and "Ivy League rub."^[10]

• Slang terms such as "Oxford-style" and "Princeton rub", all in reference to university or boarding schools, refer to when a partner moves his penis between his and his partner's abdomens, thighs, or sometimes buttocks. Thus, it is male-male frottage (in terms of being non-penetrative sexual activity), but is not frot in the proper sense.

• Bill Weintraub, advocates frot as the primary expression of male-male sexuality on his website^[11] and in a few interviews and op-ed pieces,^[12]

Usage in non-human animals

The homosexual activities of bonobos are of special interest because of their genetic closeness to humans, however despite their genetic similarity bonobo sexuality has been described as "not driven by orgasm or seeking release. Nor is it often reproductively driven. Sex for a bonobo is casual, it's quick".^[13] Among bonobos, frot frequently occurs when two males hang from a tree limb and engage in penis fencing. Frot also occurs while two males are in missionary position. A special form of frot called "rump rubbing" in which males stand back to back on all fours and rub their genito-anal regions together.^[14]

Frot-like genital rubbing between non-human males has been observed among bull manatees, in conjunction with "kissing". Bottlenose dolphins have been observed rubbing their genitals against the genital area of other males often leading to the penetration of the genital slit, or less commonly the anus.^[14] Other forms of frot are also common among homosexually active mammals.^{[citation needed]} Most species of bird do not possess a penis; for those animals, the distinction between penetrative and non-penetrative sex does not exist, though mounting and insemination are common aspects of avian homosexuality even when a phallic organ is not present.

See also

• Non-penetrative sex
• Sexual positions
• Vanilla sex
• Coitus, male-female genital sex
• Tribadism, female-female genital sex
• Penis fencing, a similar behavior in flatworms.

References

Further reading

• B. Bagemihl, Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity (1999)
• Olivia Judson., Dr. Tatiana's Sex Advice to All Creation (2002)