girlfriend

A girlfriend is a female partner you are romantically or sexually involved with, or a female friend.^[1]

This term is often used loosely, and there is some debate over what exactly constitutes a girlfriend. Having a girl to agree to such an arrangement can feel like a milestone for young males, and is often seen as a sign of status, based on the perception of the girl amongst the male's peers.

Scope

Partners in committed non-marital relationships are also sometimes described as a significant other or simply partner, especially if the individuals are cohabiting.^[2]

Girlfriend and partner mean different things to different people; the distinctions between the terms are subjective. How the term is used will ultimately be determined by personal preference.^[3][4]

A 2005 study of 115 people ages 21 to 35 who were either living with or had lived with a romantic partner notes that the lack of proper terms often leads to awkward situations, such as someone upset over not being introduced in social situations to avoid the question..^[5]

In a strictly grammatical sense, a "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" is an individual with whom one shares a romantic relationship. A "girl friend" or "boy friend", however, is simply a friend identified on the basis of sex. This is sometimes also contravened by simply stating "ladyfriend" or "guyfriend". The terms "friend girl" (and "friend boy") are also sometimes used to indicate a platonic friendship. The transition between the two is a significant aspect of adolescent development.^[6]

Both forms of "girlfriend" and "girl friend" are used by different people to mean different things. For example, when the term "girlfriend" is used by a girl or woman about another female in a non-sexual, non-romantic context, the two-word form "girl friend" is sometimes used to avoid confusion with the sexual or romantic meaning; however, this is not a rule. In this sense of its usage, "girlfriend" is used in terms of very close friends and has no sexual connotations, unless it is in the case of lesbian, bisexual, or pansexual women. The term "girlfriend" is also used in LGBT communities and can refer to people of any sex or sexuality.^[7][8]

The term "girlfriend" does not necessarily imply a sexual relationship, but is often used to refer to a girl or woman who is dating a person she is not engaged to without indicating whether she is having sex with him or her. With differing expectations of sexual mores, the term dating can imply romantic activity whereas simply using "friend" would likely avoid implying such intimacy. It is essentially equivalent to the term "sweetheart", which has also been used as a term of endearment.^[9]

Word history

The word girlfriend was first used in 1863 as "a woman's female friend in youth.” In 1922, the word girlfriend was used to mean a man’s sweetheart.^[10]

Dating entered the American language during the Roaring Twenties. Prior to that, courtship was a matter of family and community interest. Starting around the time of the Civil War, courtship became a private matter for couples.^[11]

Related terms

• A female engaged in an extramarital relationship with a married man is frequently considered a "mistress".^[12] The word mistress was originally used as a neutral counterpart for the word mister or master.^[13]
• The word madam is still a respectful form of address, but has had sexual connotations since the early 1700s and has been used to refer to the owner of a brothel since the early 1900s.^[14]
• Some terms of endearment directed to females, a romantic relationship not required, are "darling", "sweetheart", "love", "babe", "babycakes" etc.^[15]
• Users of Internet slang and SMS slang often shorten girlfriend to the initialism gf.^[16]
• Additionally, gender-indiscriminate terms also apply (e.g., lover, heartthrob, paramour, squeeze, sweetheart, true love, wooer, date, escort, steady, admirer, or companion).^[17]

Distinction from "lady friend"

A similar, but not equivalent, concept is the more ambiguous "lady friend" – a companion of the female gender who is possibly less than a girlfriend but potentially more than a friend. That is to say, the relationship is not necessarily platonic, nor is it necessarily an exclusive, serious, committed, or long-term relationship. The term avoids the overt sexual implications that come with referring to a woman as someone's "mistress" or "lover". In that sense, it can often be a euphemism. The term can also sometimes be employed when someone simply does not know the exact status of a woman that a man has been associating with. For instance, tabloid headlines often note that a celebrity has been seen with a new "lady friend".^[18][19] "Lady friend" may also be used to signify a romantic relationship with an older woman, when the term "girl" as in "girlfriend" may be deemed age-inappropriate.

The New York Times style guide discourages the use of the term "girlfriend" for an adult romantic partner, stating, "Companion is a suitable term for an unmarried partner of the same or the opposite sex." ^[20] The Times received some criticism^[20] for referring to Shaha Riza as the "girlfriend" of World Bank president Paul Wolfowitz in one article about the controversy over their relationship. Other news articles in the Times had generally referred to her as Wolfowitz's "companion".

See also

Look up girlfriend in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

• Boyfriend
• Courtship
• Domestic partnership
• Engagement
• Marriage
• Wedding

References

Bibliography

• Sociocultural Perspectives on Language Change in Diaspora David R. Andrews (1998); John Benjamins Publishing Company, ISBN 90-272-1835-8.
• The Handbook of Language and Gender By Janet Holmes, Miriam Meyerhoff (2003); Blackwell Publishing, ISBN 0-631-22502-1.
• In Your Face: Stories from the Lives of Queer Youth Mary L. Gray (1999); Haworth Press, ISBN 0-7890-0076-8.
• Defining Language: A Local Grammar of Definition Sentences Geoff Barnbrook (2002); John Benjamins Publishing Company, ISBN 1-58811-298-5.
• How Not To Say What You Mean: A Dictionary of Euphemisms R. W. Holder (2002); Oxford University Press, ISBN 0-19-860402-5.