I have more liar jokes than anyone in the world! (he said) --------------- "I am the biggest liar in the world", said Pat. "No, you're not," said Mick, "I am!" "Prove
…it, then," says Pat Mick says, "Last week I swam UP Niagara falls!" "I know," says Pat, "I saw you." --- Newsman: "Mr. Mayor, why is it that your opponent in the election says such terrible things about you, while you only say what a good job he's done on the city council?" Mayor: "Maybe we are both lying." --- Girl to guy: "You are such a terrible liar. You said you owned a Rolls-Royce and a Jaguar, and I've never seen either one." Guy: "I keep them parked at my estate in France." Girl: "You don't own an estate in France. I've never heard of you flying to Europe." Guy: "I use my private plane." Girl: "You don't have a private plane. There's none registered in your name." Guy: "That's because I use a fictitious name for tax purposes." IRS agent: "Is that so? We've heard enough. Come with us!" Guy to girl: "Wait! Tell them I was making all that up!" Girl: "Don't worry. I'll tell your chauffeur to have your pilot call your lawyer." --- Guy to Girl: "You're looking for a pet? I'll sell you my dog for $10. He's in the back." Girl goes in back, says "Hi, Doggie! I'm thinking of buying you." Dog: "Oh, man. I knew he'd do this." Girl: "Wow! You can talk?" Dog: "Yeah, I've been living here since I left the CIA. I helped them overthrow two governments and stole secret information from the KGB." Girl goes back in front: "I can't believe you'd sell that dog for just $10." Guy: "Are you kidding? He never worked for the CIA. He's lying." --- (MORE)