Tevye:

AAAh! help help!

Golde:

Tevye? Tevye wake up

(Tevye screams)

What's the matter with you? Why are you howling like that?

Tevye:

Where is she? Where is she?

Golde:

Where is who? What are you talking about?

Tevye:

Fruma Sarah, the butcher's first wife. She was standing there a minute ago!

Golde:

What's the matter with you Tevye? Fruma Sarah's been dead for years! You must have been dreaming. Tell me what

you dreamed and I'll tell you what it meant.

Tevye:

All right, only... don't be frightened! In the beginning I dreamt that we were having a celebration of some kind.

Everybody we knew was there. Musicians too. Suddenly, in comes your grandma Tzietl, may she rest in peace.

Naturally, I went up to greet her, and she said:

(sung)

Grandma Tzietl:

A blessing on your head

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

To see a daughter wed

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

And such a son-in-law

Like no-one ever saw

The tailor Motel Camzoil

Golde:

(spoken)

Motel?

Grandma Tzietl:

(sung)

A worthy boy is he

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

Of pious family

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

They named him after my

Dear uncle Mordachai

The tailor Motel Camzoil

(spoken)

Golde:

A tailor? She must have heard wrong. She meant a butcher.

(sung)

Tevye:

You must have heard wrong Grandma

There's no tailor

You mean the butcher Grandma

By the name of Lazer-Wolfe

Grandma Tzietl:

Noooo!

I mean a tailor Tevye

My great-grandchild

My little Tzietl who you named for me

Motel's bride was meant to be!

For such a match I prayed

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

In heaven it was made

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

A fine upstanding boy

A comfort and a joy

The tailor Motel Camzoil

(spoken)

Golde:

But we announced it already!

We made a bargain with the butcher!

(sung)

Tevye:

But we announced it Grandma

To our neighbors

We made a bargain Grandma

With the butcher Lazer-Wolfe

Grandma Tzietl:

Noooo No!

So you announced it Tevye

That's your headache

And as for Lazer-Wolfe I say to you

Tevye, that's your headache too!

(Company)

A blessing on your house

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov

Imagine such a spouse

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov

And such a son-in-law

Like no-one ever saw

The tailor Motel Camzoil

Tevye

(spoken)

But he's a butcher!

Comapny:

(sung)

The tailor Motel Camzoil

Tevye:

(spoken)

His name is Lazer-Wolfe

Company

(sung)

The tailor Motel Camzoil

Tevye:

The tailor Motel Camzoil

Company:

Sha!

Look who is this? Who is this? Who comes here?

Who

What woman is this?

By righteous and is shaking

Could it be?

Sure!

Yes it could!

Why not?

Who could be mistaken?

It's the butcher's wife come from beyond the grave

It's the butcher's dear, darling, departed wife

Fruma Sarah

Fruma Sarah:

Tevye!! Tevye!!!!!

What is this about your daughter marrying my husband?

Company:

He's her husband!

Fruma Sarah:

Would you do this to your friend and neighbor Fruma Sarah?

(Fruma Sarah!)

Have you no consideration for a woman's feelings?

(Woman's feelings!)

Handing over my belongings to a total stranger!

(Total stranger!)

How? How can you let your daughter to take my place?

Live in my house

Carry my keys

And wear my clothes

Pearls

How?

Company:

How can you allow your daughter to take her place?

(Pearls!)

House!

(Pearls!)

Keys!

(Pearls)

Clothes

(Pearls!)

How?

Fruma Sarah:

Such a learned man as Tevye wouldn't let it happen!

(Let it happen!)

Tell me that it isn't tue and then I wouldn't worry!

(Wouldn't worry!)

Say you didn't give your blessing to your daughter's marriage

(Daughter's marriage)

Let me tell you what would follow such a fataled wedding

(fataled wedding!)

If Tzietl marries Lazer-Wolfe

I pity them both!

She'd live with him three weeks

And when three weeks are up

I'll come to her by night

I'll take her by the throat and

This I'll give your Tzietl

That I'll give your Tzietl

This I'll give your Tzietl

That I'll give your Tzietl

Here's my wedding present if she marries Lazer-Wolfe!

(Company and Tevye scream)

Golde:

Aye

Such a dark and evil spirit!Let it fall into the river, let it sink into the earth!

Such a dark and horrible dream!

And to think, it was brought on by that butcher!

If my grandma Tzietl, may she rest in peace,

Took the time to come all the way from the other world to tell us

About the tailor all I can say is that it's for the best.

And couldn't possibly get any better. Amen.

Tevye:

Amen

(sung)

Golde:

A blessing on my head

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov

My Grandma Tzietl said

Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov

We'll have a son-in-law

Like no-one ever saw

The tailor Motel Camzoil

Tevye:

We haven't got the man

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

We had when we began

(Mazel Tov, Mazel Tov)

But since your grandma came

She'll marry... what's his name?

Golde:

The tailor, Motel Camzoil

Both:

The tailor Motel Camzoil

(repeats up to 12x)

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