Someone who's stupid or clumsy.

Vampirism Bites - 2010 Fight Schlub 1-6 was released on:

USA: 26 August 2010

Being a chemist and knowing something about the chemical properties of the specific drugs would probably allow you to make a fair stab at doing this.

The average schlub with no clue is probably just out of luck, though.

I don't know what you consider "expensive". Hydrogen is the most common element in the universe, and can be readily produced by a variety of methods; at a couple of bucks per kilogram, it's one of the cheapest elements (and one of the very few that any schlub can make at home with stuff you probably have lying about the house).

According to SOWPODS (the combination of Scrabble dictionaries used around the world) there are 1 words with the pattern S-HL-B. That is, six letter words with 1st letter S and 3rd letter H and 4th letter L and 6th letter B. In alphabetical order, they are:

schlub