If any of this needs translating perhaps you'd better Google it
- it will improve your Google privacy profile no end. Completely
stuff them up. Good work, cobber.
You know you're Australian when:
You believe that stubbies can either be drunk or worn.
You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it
for something illegal such as watering the garden.
You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black
thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it
sounds.
You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin'.
You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the
way to Maccas'.
You call your best friend 'a total b@stard' but someone you
really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a b@stard'.
You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a
place.
You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin
that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga'
but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
You believe that cooked down axle grease makes a good breakfast
spread - you've squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little
Vegemite worms.
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they
stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
Beetroot with your Hamburger... of course!
You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during
any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face
Again' And 'Living next door to Alice'.
You wear ugg boots outside the house.
You believe that every important discovery in the world was made
by an Australian but then sold off for a pittance.
You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more
you like them.
Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order
takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me'
is always polite.
You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your
nose.
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to
handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding
iron.
Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules
for beach cricket.
You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what
they call 'Anzac Cookies'.
You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
When working in a bar, you understand male customers will feel
the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol
beer.
You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end
in "o": arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego,
servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc...
You know that there is a universal place called 'woop woop'
located in the middle of nowhere, no matter where you actually
are!
You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it
tastes like piss.
You sleep with Aeroguard on in the summer and don't mind it as a
perfume.
You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad,
sweet, to mean "good" and when you place 'bloody' in front of it
then you really mean it.
You know that the barbecue is a political arena.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or
not.
You understand what no wucking furries means.
You've drunk your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam.
You own a Bond's chesty - in several different colours.
You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and
that's ok.
