(I'm assuming you're referring to FEM)
The entries of a stiffness matrix are inner products (bilinear
forms) of some basis functions. Insofar as you will typically be
dealing with symmetric bilinear forms, the stiffness matrix will
also be symmetric. In other words, ai,j = <φi,φj> =
<φj,φi> = ai,j.
The issue is closely related to so-called "Gramian matrices"
which, in addition to symmetry, have other properties desirable in
the context of FEM. I've provided links below.