tantrum

A tantrum is an episode of extreme anger and frustration characterized by crying, screaming, and violent body motions, including throwing things, falling to the floor, and banging one's head, hands, and feet against the floor.

Description

Tantrums, also called temper tantrums, can occur by the age of 15 months, but are most frequent between the ages of two and four. All children have them at some point, and active, strong-willed youngsters may have as many as one or two a week. Generally, tantrums are an expression of frustration. Children may be frustrated by their inability to perform an activity they are attempting, such as buttoning a coat. Tantrums may also be an expression of frustration at the lack of control children have over their lives, such as at bedtime when children want to continue playing instead of going to bed. Occasionally a tantrum may also be an attempt to gain attention from a parent or other caregiver, or it may be an attempt to manipulate the situation in some way.

Aside from taking any measures needed to prevent danger to children, parents should try to ignore the tantrum and let it run its course. If the upset has occurred over something the child wants and has been denied, it is tempting to give in to the child's wishes, but doing so can be harmful because it teaches children that they can get what they want by having a tantrum. Frequently, tantrums occur in a public place, which is especially unsettling for parents. Children become over stimulated or tire more easily in busy public spaces such as supermarkets and malls and may use the tantrum as an attempt to regain parental attention that is focused elsewhere. In spite of their embarrassment, parents should treat a public tantrum in essentially the same way they treat one at home. Whenever possible, they should remove the child to the car or some other private space to avoid inconveniencing others and attracting any more unwelcome attention, after which they should ignore the tantrum and let it run its course.

While a parent cannot stop tantrums once they are in progress, it is sometimes possible to prevent them by being alert to certain danger signs, especially fatigue, hunger, and irritability. In these cases, they can change plans to give the child a needed rest, food, or change of scene. For example, a child who is getting cranky at a party or other event at which the parent is present can be taken home early. The archetypal shopping tantrum over the candy bar at the checkout counter or the elaborate toy can sometimes be countered by proposing an alternative treat or purchase instead of the flat denial that sends the child into a tantrum. Emotional upsets that occur when children are left with a babysitter or at daycare are usually a sign of separation anxiety and can be alleviated by preparing children in advance for the separation and giving them the opportunity to become familiar with the babysitter or daycare setting ahead of time. Keeping walking trips short can prevent tantrums over a child's demand to be carried.

Toddlerhood

Children between the ages of two and four are the most likely to have tantrums and to have them the most often. They have not acquired the verbal skills necessary to adequately express their emotions or even, in many situations, to make themselves understood. In addition, they can only use words to demand what they want, not to negotiate for it. They love to explore, but often they do not understand which places or objects are off limits and are scolded as a result. Although they are developing rapidly, they still lack the motor skills to do many things they would like to do. They want to be independent but still require continuous supervision and assistance, and their preferences are often unrecognized, ignored, or refused by their caregivers. There is also a great deal of ambivalence and indecision associated with this stage of life, meaning that there is internal conflict as well as tension between the toddler and his or her environment. The tantrum occurs because the small child, who is still learning to cope with her feelings, is simply unable to contain strong emotions of anger, frustration, or disappointment. In some cases, children are actively discouraged from showing these feelings, which creates even more tension.

School-Age Children

School-age children tend to have tantrums less often, but many children still have them occasionally. At this age, frustration with inability to do homework may often be the cause of tantrums. Parents should let their child calm down and then offer to help them and give encouragement. It can be helpful to remind the child that the task that causes frustration will become easier to perform with practice. If the child has tantrums at school, a doctor's advice should be sought because it could be a symptom of other another problem such as a learning disability.

Common Problems

Having tantrums is a normal part of growing up; however, they are not socially acceptable behavior. Consequently, the most common problems with tantrums are problems for the parents. The tantrums often take place in public, which can be embarrassing and make them harder to deal with calmly. If the child actually hurts himself or others or has very frequent tantrums, it may be a sign of behavior problems, and the child should be assessed by a pediatrician.

Parental Concerns

Most children do not actually hurt themselves or others during tantrums, although it may seem like they are going to. Holding the breath cannot actually hurt a child; the child will breathe involuntarily before harm occurs. A child's tantrums can, however, challenge parents' ability to remain calm. Tantrums may occur in busy places such as restaurants and grocery stores, and the child is more likely to be tired. It can also be very distressing for parents to see the child so upset and out of control. Parents who are concerned about their ability to calmly deal with the child's temper tantrums may talk to the child's pediatrician about ways to cope more effectively with this natural part of the child's development.

When to Call the Doctor

The child's doctor should be called if the child hurts herself, the parent, other people, or objects during a tantrum. If the child has more than five tantrums a day, or the tantrums reoccur in school, the doctor should also be consulted.

See also Separation anxiety.

Resources

Books

Kennedy, Michelle. Tantrums. Hauppauge, NY: Barrons, 2003.

Levy, Ray, and Bill O'Hanlon with Tyler Norris. Try and Make Me!: Simple Strategies that Turn Off the Tantrums and Create Cooperation. New York, NY: Rodale/Reach, 2001.

McComas, Jennifer J. How to Deal Effectively with Whining and Tantrum Behavior. Austin, TX: Pro-Ed, 2003.

Periodicals

Chance, Paul, and Jacob Azerrad. "Tantrums: The Psychology of Violent Children." Current (October 2001): 29.

Mlyniec, Vicky. "Forty Ways to Prevent Tantrums." Parents Magazine 77 (January 2002): 84.

Potegal, Michael, and Richard J. Davidson. "Temper Tantrums in Young Children." Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics 24, no. 3 (June 2003): 140.

[Article by: Tish Davidson, A.M.]

Word Tutor:

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IN BRIEF: A fit of bad temper.

The toddler threw a tantrum when he didn't get a sucker.

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Mosby's Dental Dictionary:

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A sudden outburst or violent display of rage, frustration, and bad temper, usually occurring in a maladjusted child or immature or disturbed adult.

Random House Word Menu:

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For a list of words related to tantrum, see:

Mental States, Processes, and Behavior - tantrum: violent, uncontrollable outburst of rage, esp. in children
Agitation, Abnormality, and Instability - tantrum: uncontrollable fit of rage or hysteria

Rhymes:

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See words rhyming with "tantrum."

Bradford's Crossword Solver's Dictionary:

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This article contains too many or too-lengthy quotations for an encyclopedic entry. Please help improve the article by editing it to take facts from excessively quoted material and rewrite them as sourced original prose. Consider transferring direct quotations to Wikiquote. (August 2011)

For other uses, see Tantrum (disambiguation).

A tantrum (or temper tantrum or tirade or hissy fit) is an emotional outburst, usually associated with children or those in emotional distress, that is typically characterized by stubbornness, crying, screaming, yelling, shrieking, defiance, angry ranting, a resistance to attempts at pacification and, in some cases, violence. Physical control may be lost, the person may be unable to remain still, and even if the "goal" of the person is met he or she may not be calmed.^[1]^[2]^[3]^[4]^[5] A tantrum may be expressed in a tirade: a protracted, angry, or violent speech.^[1]^[2]

Contents

1 Toddlers
2 Aberrations
3 Narcissism
- 3.1 In later life
4 Notable people
5 Examples from media
6 See also
7 References

Toddlers

Tantrums are one of the most common forms of problematic behaviour in young children, but tend to decrease in frequency and intensity as the child grows older. For the toddler, "tantrums are normal...the force of the tantrum is a kind of measure of the strength of character the child can possess eventually, if [s]he's helped to harness that energy."^[6]

While tantrums may be seen as a predictor of future anti-social behaviour,^[7] in another sense they are simply "a manifestation of a loss of control and frustration ... and so 'with patience and a consistent reaction to tantrums, they'll get fewer and farther between as your child grows'."^[8]

Although "when a child is in a tantrum, it is all too apparent that it is wanting something ... what the child is also needing is something very different...."^[9]

Selma Fraiberg warned against "too much pressure or forceful methods of control from the outside' in child-rearing: 'if we turn every instance of pants changing, treasure hunting, napping, puddle wading and garbage distribution into a governmental crisis we can easily bring on fierce defiance, tantrums, and all the fireworks of revolt in the nursery."^[10]

In 2011, research found that toddlers use tantrums to express two emotions, anger and fear, simultaneously or in patterns.^[11]^[12] Such tantrums often have a "pattern and rhythm" to their "vocalizations".^[12] Analysis of the patterns can lead to discerning which tantrums are normal and which could be signs of future problems -- "that may be warning signals of an underlying disorder."^[12] The study was authored by study Michael Potegal, at the University of Minnesota, Pamela G. Whitney at Quinnipiac University, and James A. Green at the University of Connecticut.^[12]^[13] Potegal was quoted by National Public Radio as saying that "The trick in getting a tantrum to end as soon as possible," and when "the child was past being angry, what was left was sadness, and sad children reach out for comfort. The quickest way past the anger ... was to do nothing."^[11]^[12] The researchers were called "brave scientists" for dealing with their research subjects.^[11]

Aberrations

Freud considered that the Wolf Man's development of temper tantrums - as he became 'discontented, irritable and violent, took offence on every possible occasion, and then flew into a rage and screamed like a savage'^[14] - was connected with his seduction by his sister.

He also considered that subsequently 'the patient's fits of rage and scenes of fury were put to a new purpose...to force punishments and...satisfy his sense of guilt'.^[15] Freud added that 'I do not know how often parents and educators, faced with inexplicable naughtiness on the part of a child, might not have occasion to bear this typical state of affairs in mind. A child who behaves in this inexplicable way is making a confession and trying to provoke punishment...setting his sense of guilt at rest'.^[16]

Jealousy over the birth of a sibling, and resulting aggression, may also provoke tantrums: 'the efforts to control himself produced temper tantrums "over nothing" dozens of times a day...stormy and negativistic'.^[17]

Some people who have neurological disorders such as the combination of autism or mental retardation^[18] could be more prone to tantrums than others, although anyone experiencing forebrain damage (temporary or permanent) can suffer from tantrums. Anyone may be prone to tantrums once in a while, regardless of gender or age.

Narcissism

Heinz Kohut contended that 'the infant's core is likely to contain a self-centred, grandiose-exhibitionist part', and that 'tantrums at being frustrated thus represent narcissistic rages'^[19] at the blow to the inflated self-image. With 'a child confronted with some refusal...regardless of its justifications, the refusal automatically provokes fury, since it offends his sense of omnipotence'.^[20]

In later life

Thackeray claimed that in later life 'you may tell a Tantrum as far as you can see one, by the distressed and dissatisfied expression of its countenance - "Tantrumical", if we may term it so'.^[21]

In the celebrity culture of the 21st century, the "Tantrumical" may come to full flower in the form of 'the celebrity tantrum. Many celebrity icons, regardless of their chronological age, are renowned for appearing incredibly immature and throwing temper tantrums whenever they don't get their own way'.^[22] Dan Millman 'coined the term Acquired Situational Narcissism to describe the destructive and outrageous behaviour of those who are constantly in the public eye. This late-acquired narcissism...'^[23] - tantrum-y.

Notable people

Tennis player Ilie Năstase is best remembered for being one of the best players never to win the singles title at Wimbledon, for his tantrums, and his good looks.^[24]

Examples from media

The Town Santa Forgot, an animated television special, is the story is of Jeremy Creek, a boy who knows nothing but greed. He throws temper tantrums any time he sees what he wants, and he wants everything he sees.

References

^ ^a ^b "What is a tantrum?". Babycentre.co.uk. http://www.babycentre.co.uk/toddler/penelopeleach/whatisatantrum/. Retrieved 2011-03-20.
^ ^a ^b "Temper Tantrums". Kidshealth.org. http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/tantrums.html. Retrieved 2011-03-20.
^ "Tantrums". BabyCenter. http://www.babycenter.com/0_tantrums_11569.bc. Retrieved 2011-03-20.
^ "When a Child Has a Tantrum - The Natural Child Project". Naturalchild.org. http://www.naturalchild.org/jan_hunt/tantrum.html. Retrieved 2011-03-20.
^ "Make Nice With Mom". Girl World Daily. 2003-04-03. http://www.girlworlddaily.com/feature/make_nice_with_mom/index.html?gclid=CODf47WjpqYCFQZO4QodURHeZg. Retrieved 2011-03-20.
^ Robin Skynner/John Cleese, Families and how to survive them (London 1993) p. 177
^ Potegal, Michael Ph.D., L.P.; Davidson, Richard J. Ph.D. (June 2003). "Temper Tantrums in Young Children". Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics 24 (3): 140–147.
^ Roy Benaroch, Solving Health and Behavioral Problems from Birth Through Preschool (2008) p. 157
^ Patrick Casement, Further Learning from the Patient (London 1990) p. 113-4
^ Selma H. Fraiberg, The Magic Years (New York 1987) p. 65
^ ^a ^b ^c Ryan, Erin Gloria (December 5, 2011). "Brave Scientists Record and Study Kids Losing Their Shit". Jezebel. http://jezebel.com/5865274/. Retrieved December 6, 2011.
^ ^a ^b ^c ^d ^e Vendatum, Shankar (December 5, 2011). "What's Behind A Temper Tantrum? Scientists Deconstruct The Screams". Jezebel. http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2011/12/05/143062378/whats-behind-a-temper-tantrum-scientists-deconstruct-the-screams?sc=fb&cc=fp. Retrieved December 6, 2011.
^ "Screaming, yelling, whining, and crying: Categorical and intensity differences in vocal expressions of anger and sadness in children's tantrums," Green, James A.; Whitney, Pamela G.; Potegal, Michael. Emotion, Vol 11(5), Oct 2011, 1124-1133. doi: 10.1037/a002417. Found at Psycnet website; accessed on December 6, 2011.
^ Sigmund Freud, Case Histories II (PFL 9) p. 242
^ Freud, p. 257
^ Freud, p. 257-8
^ Fraiberg, p. 152
^ Dominick KC, Davis NO, Lainhart J, Tager-Flusberg H, Folstein S (2007). "Atypical behaviors in children with autism and children with a history of language impairment". Res Dev Disabil 28 (2): 145–62. doi:10.1016/j.ridd.2006.02.003. PMID 16581226.
^ H. and I. Goldenberg, Family Therapy (2007) p. 172
^ Edmund Bergler in J. Halliday/P. Fuller eds., The Psychology of Gambling (London 1974) p. 182
^ William Makepeace Thackeray, The Irish Sketch Book (1848) p. 138
^ Cooper Lawrence, The Cult of Celebrity (2009) p. 72
^ Simon Crompton, All about Me (London 2007) p. 176
^ "Nastase embodies an era with a touch of class". The Independent (London). June 28, 2003. http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/tennis/nastase-embodies-an-era-with-a-touch-of-class–542101.html. Retrieved May 5, 2010.

v d e Narcissism

Types	Acquired situational Aggressive Amorous Closet Collective Compensatory Conversational Corporate Cross-cultural Cultural Destructive Egomania Elitist Exhibitionist Fanatical Gender Group Healthy Inverted Malignant Medical Megalomania Pathological Personality disorder Phallic Primary Primordial Secondary Sexual Spiritual Unhealthy Unprincipled

Characteristics	Arrogance Bad boundaries Betrayal Boasting Bravado Conceit Criticism (intolerance of) Egocentrism Egotism Empathy (lack of) Entitlement (exaggerated) Envy Exploitative Fantasy Grandiosity Grandstanding Greed Haughtiness Hidden agenda Hubris Magical thinking Manipulative Narcissistic abuse Narcissistic elation Narcissistic injury Narcissistic mortification Narcissistic rage Narcissistic supply Narcissistic withdrawal Omnipotence Opportunism Perfectionism Self-absorbed Self-esteem Self-righteousness Selfishness Shamelessness Superficial charm Superiority complex Tantrum True self and false self Vanity

Defences	Denial Devaluation Distortion Idealization Splitting Projection

Cultural types	Control freak Dandy Diva Don Juanism Dorian Gray syndrome Drama queen Fantasist Jerk Metrosexual Prima donna Queen bee Snob Status symbol Trophy wife Valley girl

Related articles	Codependency Cronyism Ego ideal Egomania (UK TV documentary) Elitism Empire building Generation Y God complex History of narcissism Messiah complex Micromanagement Narcissism of small differences Narcissistic leadership Narcissistic parents Narcissistic Personality Inventory Narcissus (mythology) Nepotism On Narcissism (Freud essay) Sam Vaknin Self-love Spoiled child The Culture of Narcissism (Lasch book) Victory disease Workplace bullying

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Translations:

Tantrum

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Dansk (Danish)
n. - anfald af arrigskab, surmuleri

Nederlands (Dutch)
woedeaanval

Français (French)
n. - accès de colère, crise, caprice

Deutsch (German)
n. - Wutanfall, Trotzanfall

Ελληνική (Greek)
n. - νευράκια, ξέσπασμα οργής

Italiano (Italian)
capriccio

Português (Portuguese)
n. - furor (m), mal humor (m), acesso (m) de raiva

Русский (Russian)
вспышка раздражения, гнева

Español (Spanish)
n. - berrinche, rabieta

Svenska (Swedish)
n. - raserianfall

中文（简体）(Chinese (Simplified))
发脾气, 发怒

中文（繁體）(Chinese (Traditional))
n. - 發脾氣, 發怒

한국어 (Korean)
n. - 불끈, 울화, 역정

日本語 (Japanese)
n. - 癇癪

العربيه (Arabic)
‏(الاسم) نوبه غضب‏

עברית (Hebrew)
n. - ‮השתוללות זעם‬

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