# Take a witness along with you, preferably an off-duty police officer, deputy sheriff, or another neutral official. Have your witness stay in your vehicle, but with the window down so that he/she can hear the tone of the conversation, and with the vehicle parked in such a way as the witness can easily see you all the time.

# Take a copy of your divorce decree along with you which shows that you are supposed to see the child(ren) on that weekend, and at that time. DO NOT BE EVEN 5 MINUTES LATE.

# Take a tape recorder with you. Have it running from the time you approach the residence, and do no stop it until you leave. DO NOT have it on the "voice activated" setting as you need to show the time elapsed during your stay there. Keep it running as you leave the area.

# As you approach the residence, state the following facts into the recorder:

a) Your complete name;

b) The address you are approaching;

c) The reason you are there ("l am going to see my son/daughter/children as this is my weekend to visit with them...." etc.);

d) State who is with you and why;

e) State the time of the day and a.m. or p.m.

# As you leave, state that you are leaving and state the time and briefly what occurred which did not appear on the recorder (she/he made an obscene gesture, etc.).

# Keep a calendar of each denied visitation, and keep a written record of the number of recordings you have.

# Make sure you have a credible witness each time that you try to go see the child(ren) and DO NOT MISS A VISITATION PERIOD.

# If she/he calls the police, keep the recorder running as long as they will let you.

# Remember to use a new tape for each attempted visit, and make sure it is blank except for your attempted visits, as admitting a tape into evidence admits the whole tape, and everything on it.

# When recruiting a person to go with you, always have a back-up just in case your first choice cannot make it, but DO NOT GO ALONE. Start out early to give yourself plenty of time; you can always stop at a store near her/his house and get a soft drink to kill time. NEVER drink a beer or any other alcoholic beverage before going there.

# If your child(ren) come to the door before they can be told to go back into the house, the first thing you say to them is, "I love you and miss you." They simply come first and must know that your absence has not been their fault and that you have not wanted to stay away.

# DO NOT ARGUE with your ex regardless of how hurt you are and how mad you are or what your ex has to say. Staying calm and recording the conversation is the smart thing to do and will get her/him in the long run and make you and your child(ren) the winners.

---- "I am here to exercise my visitation . Going by our court order, I am to pick up (child[ren]'s name[s] ) at this time."

(If told that you cannot see the child, that they are sick, or that they have other plans, then use one of the following)

"I have a copy of our divorce papers which says that this is my weekend with ________________ (or "the children") and I miss them very much and want to be with them, and I know they miss me."

(If illness is claimed:) "What is wrong with ."

(Then say:) "I will take their medicine with me, and see that it is taken as ordered by the doctor."

(If you still are refused, say:) "I want to see and that I am sorry he/she is sick. Who is the doctor, so that I can talk to him/her and see how is doing?"

(If still refused, then leave with the recorder running and follow other instructions.)

(If told that "they have other plans," say:) "I can take them where they are going if you will tell me when and where."

Below are links to examples of Notice of Intent, Notice of Violation, and a Motion For Enforcement of Visitation Rights.

See Dads House for additional info and help.

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