wedding ring

A wedding ring or wedding band consists of a precious metal ring, in certain countries (UK, USA, Brazil) worn on the base of the left ring finger – the fourth finger (counting from the thumb) of the left hand. In most other parts of the world, it is worn on the right ring finger (e.g. Norway, Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Germany, Poland or Russia) (see also below).

Such a ring symbolizes marriage: a spouse wears it to indicate a marital commitment to fidelity. The European custom of wearing such a ring has spread widely beyond Europe.

A white gold wedding ring.

Traditional customs

Pre-wedding customs

From top to bottom: The bride's engagement ring, the bride's wedding ring, the groom's wedding ring.

According to some customs, the wedding ring forms the last in a series of gifts, which also may include the engagement ring, traditionally given as a betrothal present. Other more recent traditions, encouraged by the jewelry trade, seek to expand the idea of a series of ring-gifts with the promise ring, often given when serious courting begins, and the eternity ring, which symbolizes the renewal or ongoing nature of a lasting marriage, sometimes given after the birth of a first child; and a trilogy ring, usually displaying three brilliant-cut round diamonds each, in turn, representing the past, present and future of a relationship.

A European tradition encourages the engraving of the name of one's intended spouse and the date of one's intended marriage on the inside surface of wedding rings, thus strengthening the symbolism and sentimentality of the rings as they become family heirlooms.

Among Eastern Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Christians, the exchange of rings are not technically part of the wedding service, but rather are exchanged at the betrothal. It is always a two-ring ceremony. Traditionally, the groom's ring will be made of gold, and the bride's ring made of silver,^[1] and are blessed by the priest with holy water. The priest blesses the groom with the bride's ring, and places it on the ring finger of his right hand; he then blesses the bride with the groom's ring and places it on her finger. The rings are then exchanged three times either by the priest or by the best man.^[2] While in modern times, the ceremony of betrothal is often performed immediately before the wedding (or "crowning" as it is more properly called), the actual symbolic act of marriage is not the exchange of rings, but the placing of crowns on the head of the bride and groom, and their partaking three times of the "common cup".

Wedding ceremony customs

In British tradition, the best man has a traditional duty of keeping track of a marrying couple's wedding ring(s) and to produce them at the symbolic moment of the giving and receiving of the ring(s) during the traditional marriage ceremony.

In more elaborate weddings, a ring bearer (usually a young boy that is part of the family of the bride or groom) may assist in the ceremonial parading of the ring(s) into the ceremony, often on a special cushion or pillow(s).

In older times, the wedding rings did not only signify a sign of love, but were also linked to the bestowal of 'earnest money'. According to the prayer book of Edward VI: after the words 'with this ring I thee wed' follow the words 'This gold and silver I give thee', at which point the groom was supposed to hand a leather purse filled with gold and silver coins to the bride. ^[3]

Not only in England was the wedding ring considered more connected to the exchange of valuables at the moment of the wedding than a symbol of eternal love and bondage but in most other European countries as well. Sometimes it went as far as being a conditional exchange as this German formula shows: 'I give you this ring as a sign of the marriage which has been promised between us, provided your father gives with you a marriage portion of 1000 Reichsthalers'. ^[3]

In some European countries, the wedding ring is the same as the engagement ring and changes its status through engraving and the change of the hand on which to wear it. If the wedding ring is different from the engagement ring, the question whether or not the engagement ring should be worn during the ceremony leaves a few options. The bride may wear it on her left ring finger and have the groom put the wedding band over it. She may also wear it on her right ring finger. The bride may also continue wearing the rings on different hands after the wedding – this may prevent the engagement ring from scratching and scuffing. Another option is to have the main bridesmaid keep the ring during the ceremony – there are a variety ways to keep it: in a pouch, on a plate, etc. After the ceremony, the ring can be placed back on either the left or the right hand.

Post-wedding customs

In some Western cultures (USA, UK, Italy, France, Sweden), the wedding ring is worn on the left hand. This choice of finger relates to traditions purportedly dating to classical times, from an early usage reportedly referring to the fourth finger of the left hand as containing the vena amoris or "vein of love"^[4] or veia d'amore. At least in part due to this tradition, it became acceptable to wear the wedding ring on this finger. By wearing rings on the fourth finger of their left hands, a married couple symbolically declares their eternal love for each other. This has now become a matter of tradition and etiquette in these countries.

In other countries such as Germany, Greece, Russia, Spain, India, Colombia, Venezuela and Chile, however, it is worn on the right hand. Orthodox Christians and Eastern Europeans also traditionally wear the wedding band on the right hand. Jewish couples wear the wedding ring on the left hand, even though it is placed on the right hand during the marriage ceremony. In The Netherlands, Catholic people wear it on the left, all others on the right; in Austria, Catholic people wear it on the right. In Belgium, the choice of hand depends on the region of the country. Greek people, many being Orthodox Christians, also wear the wedding rings on the right hand in keeping with Greek tradition. A traditional reason to wear the wedding ring on the right hand stems from Roman custom. The Latin word for left is "sinister", which in addition to this sense also has the same senses as the English word. The Latin word for right is "dexter", a word that evolved into "dexterity". Hence, the left hand had a negative connotation and the right a good one.

Post funeral

Although in law, and in most religions, a marriage ends on first death, conventions (and perceived symbolism) around the wearing of wedding rings after a partner's death vary considerably. Traditions include the surviving spouse continuing to wear their own wedding ring after their partner's death; but on the ring finger of the other hand; removing their wedding ring at their partner's funeral; and taking charge of, and wearing, their dead partner's ring. In many cultures, the length of time and way in which a surviving spouse wears their ring is not dictated by a common custom, but varies by family tradition and choice of the surviving spouse. Sometimes the spouse adds the ring of the dead partner to theirs (and wears two rings on the same finger).

Contemporary usage

In the United Kingdom and the United States in past generations, women wore wedding bands much more commonly than men did. Today, both partners often wear wedding rings, though for work-related reasons, personal comfort or safety a spouse may remove it from time to time. Others may object to the idea of precious metals, or dislike the idea of declaring their legal status through jewelry.^{[citation needed]} Either partner may also wear a wedding ring on a chain around the neck, thus conveying the socially equivalent message to wearing it on a finger.

The double-ring ceremony, or use of wedding rings for both partners, is a relatively recent innovation. The origin of the practice is uncertain, but it was never widespread. The American jewellery industry started a marketing campaign aimed at encouraging this usage in the late 19th century. The practice never became widespread, although it did warrant mention in an etiquette book in 1937.^[5] Learning from marketing lessons of the 1920s, changing economic times, and the impact of World War II, led to a more successful marketing campaign, and by the late 1940s, double-ring ceremonies made up for 80% of all weddings, as opposed to 15% before the Great Depression.^[6]

One interpretation states that the woman wears the wedding ring below the engagement ring, thus making it closer to the heart. Another practice holds that the woman should wear the wedding ring above the engagement ring, thus sealing the atmosphere of the engagement into the marriage. Still others prefer that the wedding ring should be worn alone. Further, modern ring sets in the United States are often marketed as a three-piece set, including the man's wedding band, the woman's engagement ring, and a slender band that is mounted to the engagement ring before the wedding, converting it into a single, permanent wedding ring.

Materials

Most religious marital ceremonies accept a band of any material to symbolize the taking of marriage vows, with unusual substitutions permitted in marriages under unusual circumstances.

To make wedding rings, jewellers most commonly use a precious yellow alloy of gold, hardened with copper, tin and bismuth. Platinum and white alloys of gold are also used, although the slightly yellow "white" gold alloys of the past have been largely replaced by a cheaper nickel-gold alloy, covered with a thin plating of rhodium which must be reapplied after some years of wear. Titanium has recently become a popular material for wedding bands, due to its durability, affordability, and gunmetal grey colour. Tungsten carbide, often with gold or platinum inlays, is recently being used as well. The least expensive material in common use is nickel silver for those who prefer its appearance or cost. Marrying couples are also beginning to use stainless steel, which has the same durability as platinum or titanium, and can accept a finer finish than the latter. Silver, copper, brass and other cheaper metals do not occur as frequently because they corrode over time and thus do not convey that sense of "permanence". Aluminium or poisonous metals are almost never used.

Contrary to popular urban legend, titanium rings can be removed quite easily using a jeweller's ring cutter or specialized ring opening pliers.

Styles, patterns, fashions

A 14th century Jewish wedding ring

A plain gold band is the most popular pattern. Medical personnel commonly wear it because it can be kept very clean. Women usually wear narrow bands, while men wear broader bands.

In France and French-speaking countries, a common pattern consists of three interwoven rings. They stand for the Christian virtues of "faith, hope and love", where "love" equates to that particular type of perfect disinterested love indicated by the ancient Greek word agape. Provocatively, this pattern slides off quickly, because the rings flow over each other.

Women in Greek, Italian and Anatolian cultures sometimes receive and wear puzzle rings – sets of interlocking metal bands that one must arrange just so in order to form a single ring. Men wryly give them as a test of their woman's monogamy. Even when the woman masters the puzzle, she still cannot remove and replace the ring quickly.

In North America and some European countries, many married women wear two rings on the same finger: an engagement ring and a plain wedding band. Couples often purchase such rings as a pair of bands designed to fit together. In addition, some women who have been married a long time wear three rings on their finger (from hand to tip): a wedding band, an engagement ring, and an eternity ring. This three-ring combination is especially common in the UK.

Engraving wedding bands is also becoming very popular in the United States.

Celtic-style wedding bands have become more popular in the U.S., Canada and other English-speaking countries with large numbers of people claiming Irish or Scottish descent. This style of wedding band will often be engraved or embossed with a Celtic knot design, which is meant to symbolize oneness and continuity. Sometimes a Claddagh design is also used to symbolize fidelity.

Wedding ceremonies that reference rings

• Church of England (1662 Book of Common Prayer) - "With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen."^[7]
• Jewish - "With this ring, you are consecrated to me according to the law of Moses and Israel." - Said in Hebrew by the groom at an Orthodox Jewish wedding and by both the bride and groom at a Reform Jewish wedding
• Roman Catholic - "N., take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."^[8]
• Greek Orthodox - "The servant of God (N.) is betrothed to the handmaid of God (N.), in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." - from the Greek Orthodox Service of Betrothal, part of the Mysterion of Holy Matrimony, said while the Priest makes the Sign of the Cross with the rings over the bridegroom's head

References

1. ^ Isabel F. Hapgood, Service Book of the Holy Orthodox-Catholic Apostolic Church (Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese, Englewood, NJ, 1975), p. 604.
2. ^ Ibid., p. 292.
3. ^ ^{a b} Kunz PhD. DSc., George Frederick (1917). Rings for the Finger. J.B. Lippincott Co..  URL: Rings for the Finger, George Frederick Kunz George Frederick Kunz was the in-house gemologist for Tiffany's, the person responsible for the main gem and mineral collections of J.P. Morgan and later the American Museum of Natural History in New York, and has a gemstones kunzite named after him. He furthermore wrote the mineral and gemstone reports of the US Geological Survey for almost 20 years.
4. ^ *"Digitus Medicinalis — the Etymology of the Name" by László A. Magyar, Actes du Congr. Intern. d'Hist. de Med. XXXII., Antwerpen. 175-179., 1990, retrieved July 9, 2006. For a more complete discussion, see also vena amoris
5. ^ Howard, Vicki. "A 'Real Man's Ring': Gender and the Invention of Tradition." Journal of Social History. Summer 2003 pp837-856.
6. ^ Howard, Vicki. "A 'Real Man's Ring': Gender and the Invention of Tradition." Journal of Social History. Summer 2003 pp837-856.
7. ^ 1662 Book of Common Prayer > The Form of Solemnization of Matrimony. Retrieved on 2007-10-11.
8. ^ Liturgical Texts > 1970 Missal > Rite of Marriage During Mass. Catholic Liturgical Library. Retrieved on 2007-10-11.

See also

• Courtship
• Love
• Singelringen
• Claddagh ring
• Ring finger
• Wedding ring cushion

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