Pregnancy Health and Safety (Prenatal Care)
Marriage
Sachin Tendulkar

Are you too selective if you are a 30-year-old woman who is not married with no children?

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Wiki User
09/12/2011

You're an adult and do not need to be concerned about what others think. Do not "settle" for someone who will not be able to be an adequate companion. You need to be pleased with the relationship.

Answer

No you should not be worried. You will know when and if your ready and don't let anyone tell you your clock is ticking. The clock is ticking for everyone and you have the right to spend your time on this earth the way you want. I think your being very mature in knowing that your just not in that place yet. Why would your mother want you to rush yourself. You also have the right to be selective because lets face it a marriage and children is a big commitment and responsibility and should not be entered into lightly or rushed. You deserve to have a man to be exactly what you wish for and then together grow and nuture each other for a beautiful long life together. Your only 30 and you still have a good 50 years to decide. Take your time and good luck. Tell you mother this is no longer the time where a woman is defined by being married and having children. There is much more to woman and we are truly special beings. Besides how would the world be without us, yuk just the thought of all men makes me ill.. Have fun and live your life.

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There's not one cookie cutter lifestyle that suits every person. Some people want marriage/children and some do not. People mature and find love at different points in life, some choose not to. There's not a timetable for having a healthy relationship or becoming a good parent. I agree fully with not settling into a relationship with an imcompatible person in order to get married or have kids. Ignore the traditions that dictate that you must be married/in a relationship to become a good parent. If you come to a point in your life where you truly want to raise a child, and haven't found a good partner to share that with, look into adoption or other avenues.

As far as judgemental family, friends. . .you're not obligated to live your life to please others, as long as you are not abusing or controlling other people's choices. Be happy and healthy in whatever life you choose.

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Married or not, it's up to you. If you want to be single, listen to the advise here and read self-help books and chick lit. There's this notion that you have to do the opposite of what everyone asks you about when they're merely concerned if they can help (which they cant). If you want to improve the odds drastically, start finding regularly-scheduled, stable patterns of social engagement (activities/crafts/sports/church/etc): not clubbing, bars, singles scenes or that stuff. Love requires friendship, a little attraction and repeated exposure. Aim for mostly just friends that are stable, responsible and pleasing to be around. Generally, fireworks are just physical and don't last. Ignore and discount physical attraction as much as possible. The majority have been programmed by marketing to be discontented, visual shoppers looking for the next thing and the most intense experience. It's real life, no one's perfect and no one can be our ideal. Look at supermarket tomatoes, they look perfect and taste like cardboard. Ever had a homegrown tomato? Conclusion: Pick the best tomato you find and run with it, and TRY. That's commitment. It is not easy or convenient, but a labor of love. Marriages should not be happy meals w/ a coupon for divorce. Honestly, the only reason to marry is if both of you want kids now.

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I sure as hell hope not, because I'm a 39yo man who still wants to get married and have kids--and I feel like I'm running out of time too. I'm single and don't know how I got to be single and 39, always planned and hoped on getting married and having kids, and I feel like my life is a disaster, even though I have a good career. A 30yo woman is still very much desirable, especially by us intelligent men who can't seem to meet intelligent women in this anti-intellectual country. I would also say don't settle, but that does become tough to swallow if you don't find your match. Also, don't shrug off logical "singles" methods as the poster above might suggest--I'm praying that dating web sites will work for me. Love doesn't necessarily require "repeated exposure". That's just a somewhat mis-application of the concept from communications theory "familiarity breeds likability".

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I'm a straight male, 64, never married, no children, and I've never been in a 'live-together' relationship.

I doubt I'll ever marry. If I did, she'd have to be 'perfect,' which I recognize is impossible and unrealistic.

So am I being 'too selective?' Of course. But I'm happy with my independent lifestyle. There's no law that says you have to get married and/or have children. The main thing in life is to be happy. So just focus your thoughts and energies on being happy. Tell anybody who doesn't approve to go #@!&%$*&.