Can an argument provoke abuse

Answer 1

Though it does not provide the abuser with a reason, justification, excuse, or anything else except in their own minds, it is possible to provoke abusive behavior in some situations. For example, if a couple is having an argument, the person who is being abused might know they should stop arguing before their abuser's buttons are pushed, but continues arguing knowing that it will result in abuse. This is not saying that abuse is acceptable or that abuse is the fault of the victim, it is just answering the question. More often than not, though, the person being abused does absolutely nothing; the abuser just "goes off" and the abuse is done. No matter what the victim does, abuse is never the fault of anyone other than the abuser.

Here are more answers:

• You can provoke anger, irritation, love, liking, admiration, respect, sadness, sympathy, etc...., but abuse is action (or inaction) that hurts another. even if you are actually provoking anger (for instance), there are healthy ways of expressing that and working through it which are not abusive.

• Can you provoke abuse? I lived with abuse for 25 years.Can you provoke abuse?Yes not and I repeat not intentionally.When a person is provoking an abuse person it may be just a simple gesture or answer to him.This can escalate the abuse.It doesn't take much to provoke the abuser because they have a distorted personality.But intentionally provoking no.

• I believe that you first have to understand the cycle of voilence. It comes in the form something like this.. Woman is married, her husband hits her, calls her names, tells her really ugly things, belittles her, abuses her in every way possible. Then tells her he loves her. She is craving that love, she knew before things were "Bad" in the beginning she doesn't understand why he does this, she just knows that she wants to love him, and him to love her. Pretty soon whether you are conscious of it or not provoking him to do the things you know might lead to the anger... because you know you just want to hear the love. Or hear the nice things after he blows up. It's part of the cycle of voilence. Its always painful, even if you aren't aware your doing it. Subconsciously we do things sometimes we would stop if we even knew we were aware of the behavior. The cycle of voilence is ugly... for everyone involved... kids especially. They are the TRUE victims.

• Honey don't you for one second blame yourself. Anything can provoke an abuser. That is what the abuser wants you to think. Then he is not to blame in his mind. And he tries to make you feel like you did something to get this beating. If you have a dog and that dog is lying quietly napping and you start kicking the crap out of it until it is nearly dead who's fault is it yours or the dogs? If you are being abused it is the abusers fault every day of the week. Get out even if you have to go to a womens shelter. I am a Survivor of abuse and I can tell you you may have to do things you don't want to but in the end your life is better without the abuser. You may have to live with relatives and expose this ugly story. Be strong and remember God loves you and if you ask he will help. Get out. I look back now and I can't believe I let myself get into that position but it happens. Time will be your friend if you get out.

• I believe you can provoke abuse. With abuse. I watch it constantly. She pursues him. She puts him down constantly. Tells him he is stupid, and mean. tell him he's a bad father. Follows him from room to room like his counselor told him to do. Traps him in a corner and screams in his face. Tells him that doing what he is supposed to be doing is because he is afraid. Makes him At Fault for everything. Then he hits her. What he does is abuse. But what she does is also abuse. Just not physical. I watch her get beat up, and I see her tear him to nothing. Literally. At the end of the fights, after he hits her, he ends up apologizing for all the things that were not his fault. They are both mentally ill. And both are abusers, and victims. You sure can. If you know what buttons to push, why do you push them?

• It can certainly be provoked especially with someone that you know has abusive tenedencies, anger managment problems or is short fused. HOWEVER...it is NEVER the provokers' fault for someone else to commit abuse. Everyone has control over themselves.

• OMG! I agree with the last answer and want to add to this. As a counselor and a woman who was abused by two husbands for 10 years and 5 years (I walked right back into it ) even though I had taken 4 years of counseling and knew all the signs! I want to warn you those of you who are BLAMING yourself or blaming others for PROVOKING an ABUSERS WRATH. OMG BACK OFF and SHAME ON YOU!!!!!

• ANY man or abuser who will Lash out in anger and hit, strike, punch , poke, scratch, throw something, no matter WHAT caused the anger , is not a man. A person who does this over and over has a problem. AND if the woman is indeed hitting the man FIRST and he is hitting her back then she also is an abuser. But Im talking here about a woman like me who sat and took abuse year after year after year and never ONE SINGLE TIME did i lash out back or retaliate or hit or poke or throw or even scream. I simply put my hands over my eyes and head and took it til he calmed down and I find in counseling other women that the MAJORITY do the same. YES you have a lot that DO hit her man, that DO lash out and scream and provoke but there are the majority that are simply the punching bag to his pent up frustrations of his work day and if she want to unwind ,....too bad.

Answer 2

An argument is a discussion which needs to take place, and sometimes it is not an easy topic. If one party escalates it there is some reason they don't want to deal with the issue and are stonewalling. The person bringing up the topic is not to blame for the abusive response. There can be an agreement between two people to talk about the topic at some mutually agreeable time, and that may work better if one party is on the defensive.

If can, but it still doesn't make the abuse OK. Abuse is never OK, not matter what "caused" it.

The answer would have to be no, since the abuser is responsible for their actions...not the one being abused. To say an argument provoke the abuse is so the abuser can blame someone else for their actions...the abuser never takes responsibility for their own actions. If an argument provoke an abuse attack then rest assure the abuser will say....You started the argument.

Imagine a child in the playground being verbally teased by a group of children. Imagine the child being spat on and verbally abused until the child looses sight of reality. There is a good chance the child will turn in and cry or respond by loosing its temper and hit anything and anyone doing the abusing. Who is the abuser the verbal abusers or the child which lashed out?

the example that has been quoted -of the abused child lashing out.Well, all i will say is that there has to be a marked difference between a grown-up and a child.Secondly,in the instance mentioned its the question of protecting one's self-respect,but if the argument is between 2 lovers or husband-wife then i do not feel that it would be of that extreme nature.And if the abuser's self -esteem and tolerance level is so low that he/she cannot hold his/her own in the argument like a mature adult???.Do i need to add anyhting further?

"Can an argument provoke abuse?"

No. However it will reveal if you are in fact dealing with an abuser and if you are wise you'll take the cues and get out.

Best Wishes...