Yes. Generally, they can be the grantors and the trustees. Trusts should always be drafted by an attorney who specializes in trust law in your jurisdiction so that the trust will meet your personal needs and your questions can be answered by someone who is familiar with your trust.
You haven't been specific enough in your details. If the husband died first while the wife was living and property ended up in the wife's estate, and from there went into a trust, then the property may be out of reach of the husband's executor. It depends on how the couple held title, if husband's interest passed to the wife while she was living, if the husband had any creditors, and the laws in your jurisdiction.
Mutual respect, fidelity, honesty and trust.
The entry should be, ie, "Mr. John and Mary Smth, as trustees of the John and Mary Smith Living Trust."
If wife would carry out same wishes, there should be no conflict. Children are heirs, family, and stakeholders. Wife shouldn't be upset if husband names children to do SAME THING WIFE SAYS SHE WOULD DO.
yes
Yes, they can be if both of them trust each other.
living the comfort
£30,000
Obviously, a married couple.
living or located away from both the husband's and the wife's relatives:
Whoever is trustworthy, honest, realistic, very good at managing money and has good organizational skills would make a good trustee. However, that decision should be discussed with the attorney who drafts the trust for you.
You have a marriage that is lacking in the security that unity is supposed to bring.