Can i have a relationship with someone who has a 5 year old child that's been taken away into my boyfriends care by socail services and a baby on the way?

Answer 1

Dating a parent means a lot more patience and understanding. Can you accept:

---that his relationship with his children needs to be the priority in his life, over any romantic relationship or marriage he may have? It is important for him to bond with both his children, and you need to support that. You shouldn't be expected to be their mother and babysit them for your boyfriend, but if you date this man long term, you will have to think of your role as more of an friend or an aunt to the kids. Don't rush into meeting them early on in the relationship; as time passes, you can be introduced as their father's friend.

--that you probably won't have as much intimate time as you like. There will have to be extra planning for dates, and sometimes you may have to alter or cancel plans. There may be some sleepovers, but you're going to have to be much more discreet and cautious about what you say and do.

---that your boyfriend has a great amount of responsibility and stress for the next few years? If he now has custody of his 5 year old, he's going to have to make major changes to his own lifestyle, if he wants to be a good parent. And would you want children, let alone a relationship, with a man who wasn't willing to be a good father to the kids he has already?

It's not shallow if you feel you're not ready to be in a relationship with this guy---I know that I could never date a parent myself. If time went forward a few years and you were able to see how he handles being a father you could make a better decision about whether this relationship is for you. As it is, it's going to be a major transition for your boyfriend; if you don't feel you can handle being in such a relationship it's probably best for both of you to end it now.