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== == * Statutory rape is a STATUTORY issue - the state files based on STATUTUORY criteria. A 15 year old cannot make any legal decision - whether they complain or not is not relevant to the filing of charges. == == == == A parent, a child or even a teacher or social worker can file a complaint, but it is the state that decides to press charges, not an individual. Since these peope are under four years apart the state would probably consider it a peer to peer relationships unless there were inducements of drugs or alcohol that she did not normally use. If the boy shows signs of responsibility it's best for everyone that he be given the opportunity to take care of the child to the best of his ability. If the state presses charges it could keep him out of college, getting a decent job, and prevent him from taking care of that child for the rest of his life. A good idea would be for the young couple and all parents to have a meeting with a trained professional who can help evaluate the "criminal" and "civil" options open to you at that time. Criminal is the last place you want to go. === === === === * The pregnant young woman can't, but the parents can and at the very best press harassment charges against the young man if he's persistent about being near their pregnant daughter. No parent wants to go through what you are going through, but forget getting even in this case. As young as your daughter and her boyfriend are they obviously feel they love each other (or loved each other) and it's no different then when you or your husband fell in love. Your grandparent probably got married around this age. It wasn't uncommon for a young bride to even be 15 - 16 when she married and the man was much older. My father was 8 years older than my mother and she wasn't even 20 yet. I live in Canada so the legal age was 21 at that time. I realize that it's a great disappointment for you and your husband to have a pregnant 15-year-old because you had great plans for her education and wanted her to see more of life, but it isn't always about what parents want. You and your husband are not the only ones stressed out, but so is your daughter. It would be wise that you and your husband take time out together and find a calming place to think. Ask yourselves these questions: Why am I so angry about this? Do I find it disgusting and if so why? Was it so bad what they did? Is having this young man arrested going to fix the problem? Are we embarrassed about our 15-year-old daughter being pregnant and what will we tell our families and friends? Who cares what they think! Your daughter is going to have a baby and she is going to have the same feelings you had when you were pregnant and you have to be more supportive of her. As a mother you should see how fearful your daughter is and she obviously knew little about how easily it could be to get pregnant and is now probably fearful of childbirth. Forget what friends, neighbors and family think. Your daughter hasn't really let you down, she fell in love. I have no doubt the words that have come from you are "what does a 15-year-old know about love" but, from their eyes they do feel it's love. Of course they are too young to marry, but you have options. You can let your daughter have the baby and help her look after it. You can also make sure that the father of the baby at least pays some sort of child support no matter how little. Try getting to know him and if he seems like a nice enough young man, then let him be part of the baby's life. You may be in for a big surprise. I've seen very young parents do an extremely good job of raising a baby and in turn, seen so-called adults make a heck of a mess of raising their child(ren.) Eventually he'll be working full time and until your daughter either marries him or someone else then he should keep paying child support. If you press charges against this young man it will serve no purpose. It isn't like he's 20 - 25 and took full advantage of your 15-year-old daughter. Two young people thought or still think they love each other and made love and that's not a dirty thing. If you make more of a mess out of this you will not only let your daughter down, but she'll never feel the same about you and become alienated from you. When all is said and done whether it's a daughter, a friend or female family member, we are all just women 15 - 80!

2009-05-05 20:37:47
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