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hey, i think i have ocd should i talk about it with someone?
Lalisa MONO
so hey, im actually sixteen years old... and i have been dealing with intrusive thoughts from a really young age. and im pretty sure its ocd, i have read other people experinces and ect. i couldnt relate more, its just that when i turned 14 it become so much worse, i thoght it will become better.. but its really really really hard. so my thoughts dont really make any sense.. it can be existential quesions, sexual quesions, sometimes im scared to do somthing scary, habits like counting numbers and touching things many times. i really dont want to deal with it anymore, i felt ashamed for having this... i was so counfused so i didnt talk about it. (i cant explain it with words, but its really frustraiting)
i have changed a lot since i was 14 because of this, i didnt want to go to school, i didnt talk to my friends, and not even to my family. it made me socialy anxious, what peole might think of me.. it was a really weird year for me. everyday is another day of 'surviving', hiding it from others and not showing it. trying my best to stay cool in school, im my house and with everyone. and i have managed to deal with it myself, piece by piece i try to pazzle myself again.
i have been a lot worse when i was younger, beaceuse i had no idea why i was so anxious all the time and what does it mean, and why cant i just ignore it... so i wrote this because right now i have been on the verge of teers. because i cant wake up in the morning... i dont have power to do my homework, and im not doing really doing with my new class in high school. I guess its because i avoid everything that triggers my intrusive thougts.. but i cant take it anymore, and i want to do somthing about it, i waste 70% of my day thinking about those thoughts and i am not able to enojy my life. and it makes me miss my old life, the old me, my friend.. and just living my life.
i really want to talk about it with my parents or my sisters or someone.. they are always there for me but its hard to explain them such a thing. everyone deals with their problems.. i tried once but i gave up on that. should i talk about it with someone?
so i tried getting an advice from social media. thank you very much for reading this, this comment might be very long and messy, but im very grateful :goodluck:
Lalisa MONO
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