How can parents raise their daughters to be passive and not manipulative nor condescending nor excessively nurturing nor controlling?

Answer 1

Why would you want your daughter (or any child) to be passive? Surely we want to raise self-aware, self-monitoring independent children who can think for themselves, and who know that their behaviour will impact on others and adjust it accordingly.

Since the most effective role model in a child's life is the same-gender parent then the best way to raise your daughter (so that she meets your expectations) is to model the sort of behaviour you'd like to see her manifest. It's pointless nagging her to behave in a certain way if you're doing the opposite yourself.