How can you become a USB stick?

Answer 1

Being, or wanting to become a USB stick has become a usual thing these days. Sometimes, you might see USB sticks walking down the street and you might think "Yo man, i'd love to be a USB stick too!" Following these simple stems you won't be the screw up who wants to be a normal human being.

Disclamer:

Now even though this process of becoming a legitimate USB stick with its flash memory chip, crystal oscillator or maybe even its USB connector goes against the principal of basic science and medicine and you will be criticised and ignored by most of the members of the scientific community, do NOT let this bring you down. As i stated before a few simple* operations and psychological changes will get you well on track to being that USB stick that you ALWAYS dreamed of being.

Step 1: Becoming a USB stick is no easy task, so you will have to firstly become a lifeless being. I.e., if you have a family with children etc. make sure you molest them senseless. Taking long walks in the park in your old dirty wife-beater and your fur boots whilst choking yourself with your belt and grunting at little kids and their parents will also help the process move along.

Step 2: Ignore anyone offering you any type of help. People claiming that you are not clinically sane or unhealthy in any way are clearly jealous and it is them who do not have a clear grasp of reality. So tell me, why wouldn't you want to become an inanimate object?

Step 3: To further erase any logical thinking which does not involve you performing simple tasks in thinking in binary you must start to feel sexually attracted to all sorts of intergrated chips. There is nothing like waxing the carrot to a good old jumble of cables and CPU's. It is a new era, and a time for change so why not share your love with all sorts of junk that can be found inside a computer?

Step 4: Now that you are thinking like a champion (a USB stick) you must look like one. After your possible court cases from your actions (which are essential) in steps 1, 2 and 3 money might be running a little low in your bank account. But luck is on your side! You now cannot communicate in any manor with any human so feel free to dress up and/or operate your body to walk the walk and talk the talk when it comes to being a USB!

Finale: You are now one of our kind! Soon we will rule the world and nothing will be able to stop us!

Smallprint: I am NOT in anyway responsible for your health or safety or your actions against the law. By all means become a USB stick, but I would never recommend it, it is an insane idea. * It is by no way simple...

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