How can you trust my husband when he has lied to me so much?

Answer 1

I ASK MYSELF THE SAME QUESTION.... EVEN IF HE DECIDEDS OR SWEARS THAT HE'S GOING TO CHANGE OR THAT IT WON'T HAPPEN ANYMORE THERES ALWAYS GOING TO BE DOUBTS IN YOUR MIND AS TO IF YOU CAN EVER TRUST HIM OR NOT. THINK...WHAT IS HE LYING TO YOU ABOUT, WHATS THE REASON FOR HIS LYING, IS IT THE FIRST TIME AND IS THERE UNDERLYING ISSUES THAT YOU ARE UN AWARE OF.... MOST OF THE TIME MEN FEEL THAT IF THEY CAN LIE AND GET AWAY WITH IT THEN IT BECOMES A WAY OF LIFE TO THEM AND THEY NEVER QUIT. POINT BLANK... IM SURE IT HURTS YOUR FEELINGS AS IT DOES MINE...IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORTH THE HURT OF KNOWING THE REST OF YOUR LIFES GOING TO BE LIKE THIS BUT CONTINUE TO GROW ON A STACK OF LIES? Because he's your husband therefore he owns your ass. He husband = He right, he in charge You wife = You wrong, you do as he says Hi, Clearly, you want to trust him otherwise you would not be asking for help. Clearly, you love him enough to want to save your marriage. You are on the right path already because of these two facts. Next thing to do is ask him why he is lying to you. Do not accuse him; do not berate him ~ just simply ask the question. Let him answer fully without interruption. Hopefully, if he can answer you, he will feel more at liberty to do so if he doesn't feel confronted. When he has finished, reassure him with your love. I don't know the specifics behind the lies; de facto, I don't know what he is lying to you about. I do know that you want to work this out. It is evident because you are asking for help. On saying that, I do appreciate that you must be going through a very troublesome time, but the strength of your love for him can help you through ~ but (and it's a big thing) you are going to have to be the strong one; you are going to have to be the one that holds the relationship together in order to get both of you through this traumatic time. Once you've established the reasons behind his deceit you must then evaluate if there is a need for outside intervention, i.e. relevant counselling. This may involve you having to attend too, but it will be worth it because, obviously, you love him dearly. Good luck. I'm sure you will succeed as you sound like a woman of substance ~ just remember though not to chastise him because you will get further by being patient, understanding, and simply being his friend, and that is what marriage is about. We're not just there wife, nor just the mother of their children ~ we are their friend too. Best wishes, Nu

Answer 2

Have you ever lied? Even a little white lie? I bet you have! And I'll bet that you never thought anything wrong with it. Yes, what I'm trying to tell you is that we all lie at times. We want to protect ourselves from accusation that will cause strife. Yes, we think that not telling the truth will solve our problem. Of course, more often than not, we find that it doesn't. Get with it! Nothing happens "always." Yes, most likely your husband lies sometimes to avoid a fight. We all do that. More often than we care to admit. Open up the relationship by telling him that your relationship will work better if he'd tell you the truth. That you will allow him to explain his position by letting him talk for no more than two (2) minutes without interrupting him. Let him explain why he thought that he needed to lie to you. See the details of "Private Realities" in Meyer's "Marriages, Shack-ups and Other Disasters" or visit Kpopp's website for more information.

Answer 3

say to him i will give u one more chance and if he lies there is not much u can do