Parenting and Children
Extended Family
Primary and Elementary School

How do know if you are ready for a second child?


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2015-07-15 18:26:52
2015-07-15 18:26:52

Two or three years is a good interval. But, just don't try to have another baby thinking that it will bring you and your husband closer together. Only have another baby if both you and your husband really want another one. Let your husband feel that he can be truthful. Don't make him feel that he has to say 'Yes' just to keep from having a fight with you, or because that is what he thinks that you want him to say. If both of you don't truly feel that you are ready and prepared, you will likely just have problems.

I don't know that there is any specific, scientific, absolutely correct answer, but I can say this. I have known, in my mind, that I wanted a second child since I had my first. I do recognize that my husband and I need to be prepared in our lives for that commitment, but the actual decision is much more emotional, more of a gut feeling, so to speak. I do believe that a women knows if she should bear a child and when, that our bodies are made to cue us in that way. Again, discuss it with and have the support of your significant other, but, other than that, trust your instinct and remember that things should be much easier the second time around. You have experience!

From a health standpoint, it is dangerous to turn around a month or so after the first and conceive again. From a developmental standpoint, kids born farther apart aren't as close, or the older has adjustment issues and the younger can be more clingy.

But really, it's all about personal decision. When you are ready, you know.

In some parts of the world it is believed there should be a gap of three years between children. Not that I would ever want another one, but physically and mentally I only felt like my old self after exactly 3 years.

I had my second child 27 months after the first. So my two are roughly two years apart. I knew that I was ready for another. I would watch my child and she looked so lonely when at home. Sure she had dozens of friends to play with, but when a home, she would play sadly by herself. She wasn't the only one who wanted the presence of a new one in the house.

Some women use to tell me that your body would tell you that you are ready for another. I didn't believe it until I was ready to have another! Having a baby was all that I thought about, I would dream about babies, I would go through the baby section of a department store and browse through the clothes. I started behaving like a woman that was prepping for a child eg: mass home improvements, relentless cleaning, etc. The old wives call this "nesting". When I was ready, I discussed it with my husband, and the rest is family history. Now my family is complete. I have a girl and a boy.

But of course if the time comes when you want another, you will know too. No one can really tell a person what is best for them. But your present living and economic situation must be taken into consideration before expanding more. Ex. Your house size and family income. Another tip: KEEP ALL BABY CLOTHES FROM YOUR FIRST CHILD! This helps tremendously. And if you don't mind "hand-me-downs", purchase big lots of baby clothes on Ebay.


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