Relationships

Relationships include parent/child, sibling/sibling, friendship, dating, marriage, and lots of others. They can be great, but many times they are problematic and can be unhappy or even abusive. This category is for questions about relationships, both good and bad.

Asked in Relationships, Teen Dating

What are good questions to ask to get to know someone really well?

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Some tips: If you are referring to a close friend or a significant other, I am a fan of playing the relationship version of 20 Questions. Quite simply, take turns asking and answering questions until you have each asked twenty. This may take more than one get-together to complete, but it is a great deal of fun and will reveal a lot about both of you. Try to keep a mix of serious and humorous questions. In making a serious inquiry, make sure that you only ask questions that you yourself would be comfortable answering. This game is wonderful for bonding in a relationship. Don't interrogate them, but try to get them to open up about themselves. Casually ask about their job, their family and friends. What kinds of things do they do in their free time? Discuss hobbies, what kinds of music/movies/books they prefer. Be honest about yourself and what you enjoy in life. Note these things: Do they complain a lot? Have they changed a lot of jobs/moved frequently over the years? Do they say rude things about their parents or ex friends/wives? Any of these could be a warning sign. I think it helps to let the other person lead a bit. See what questions they ask. Not only will this allow you to answer and then say "and how about you" but it can give you insight into what a person is curious about and that can help you learn about them. You will be surprised what people will tell you if you just let them. If I REALLY want to get to know someone, I ask nothing and just observe how they are. Too often if people suspect they are being evaluated, one way or the other, they often have a tendency to a certain behaviour or say or do what they THINK you are looking for or what they THINK makes them look best. Especially in the dating scene. Rule of thumb, by six months, all their mental problems should have surfaced. Ask them questions about hobbies, likes and dislikes, religion; basically anything that would help you get to know that person better, but avoid anything about ex's, his/her past, or if they want to marry and have children. This will only scare them away. Just be yourself and there is no need to change your values just to impress someone else. This would arise as a problem if things were to happen and when the true person starts to reveal themself you may find out it is not the person you were looking for. All of the questions in the book "Intellectual "! My boyfriend (soon-to-be fiancé) are in a long-distance relationship, and the questions in that book are wonderful. Things I would've never thought of, and things that really made me think about myself and how I feel about various things. Questions are one method and another method is to let situations occur and then ask the persons view and response. It is perhaps better because you have an example that has come up by chance and can get his/her reaction to it. Other times, clarify what you hear by asking a question in a positive way. Otherwise, you will miscommunicate and misunderstand. The best way to get to know someone is how they speak of their family, friends and ex's. If they slag off their mates then they are probably untrustworthy so AVOID them! I think asking about their work gives you a clear insight into their drive/ambition, intelligence and affluence. What they like to do when they relax will give you a clue about the types of things he/she will expect you to do together. Another way to get to know someone is watch their manner in public, if they swear, are loud, smoke in prohibited places, they may be rude, arrogant and disrespectful ... perhaps not someone you want to date. However the best way to get to know someone is to LISTEN. Sounds daft, but everything they say, however little or trivial may be a clue to their personality and little clues soon add up, like a jigsaw. Enjoy getting to know them, its one of the most exciting parts of a relationship! Read "The Book of Questions" by Gregory Stock, PhD Read the book "Red Flags: How to Know if You're Dating a Loser" I found out that if you just talk to them, be yourself, act casual, and don't be fake then things mostly have good outcomes. Ask them questions but don't blabber on too much so the person can't even ask you what they want to, be open, don't be short, tell them enough to keep them guessing and wanting more, but not so little so that they forget it. Make sure the important things are answered on the first date, because then you will be clueless, and the important questions will may seem very odd to ask on later dates ... such as when you discuss things you like, on the second date if you just blurt out, "What type of music do you like?" You may sound stupid. Instead if you go somewhere or hear music playing make a gesture as in, "Hearing the notes of music reminds me, what type of music do you like?". But, as others have said don't interrogate them, because they'll get nervous about these 30 questions being thrown at them. Don't get nervous, or loud, or weird when you talk to them, because that just may put up a sign to them that you don't like them or that something is terribly wrong. I think the best way to get to know how a person truly is is by the way they discuss people they know. I have found that people who speak negatively of others usually are not very nice people themselves. Also, what kind of friends do they have? Law abiding, hard working people, college or high school friends, or only friends they met at a bar? Find out what they stand for. Do they have morals? How do they feel about morals, this can be found by the way they react to things. Do they cut corners? Are they dishonest in the little things? What do they talk like, foul? You can see that many times we don't even have to ask questions. When we see them in a public setting we can learn lots. People are smart they will tell you what they think you want to hear but their conduct can speak volumes about them, more than any question we can ask. First though, we have to have the standards within us in order to know what to look for. Just say things to them to make them feel interested in why you want to know. Buying a book on body language - the most effective chat-up line is supposed to be, "What's your favourite pizza topping?" you can also just ask them that you wanted to get to know them better than just sitting there and looking like a fool. you don't want them to think that because some people are just really rude these days they would do anything to make you feel like a jerk. well that's all really. try your best!! GOOD LUCK!! what's your name NUMBER 1! Only ask he/she what you want to know... Some questions that can start good conversations might be... What they think of people at school? If he/she likes school? how he/she spends her weekends etc. I love the pizza topping question because it will kind of throw them for a loop and you will get more of an honest answer. Most people have "pat" answers that they are asked all the time. I also like to ask them questions like "what is their best childhood memory", or "what is your favorite flavor of ice cream". These are questions they are not expecting! Be aware of red flags like a person who only likes to talk about themself and isn't asking you any questions about yourself. One other good piece of advise that applies equally to friends or people you are dating: watch how they treat the waiter/waitress, cashier, busboy, etc. If they are rude or offish to these people they are not someone you want as a mate or friend! It really depends. Ask questions that require more than a yes or no. Questions that could start a conversation are good. honestly, some of the best friendships that i have began when i was just hanging out with the person in a group. I've even told people that i think they're interesting and that i want to be their friend. that works. but I've found that the best way to get to know someone is by hanging out with them.
Asked in Relationships, Dating, Teen Dating

How can you tell if a girl or a guy likes you?

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I'm a girl and if he/she likes u he/she will tell u they have a crush on u, stare at u nonstop, look for u when u leave a room the 2 of u r in, be playful or giddy around u all the time, maybe he/she will date somebody else so that it's not TOO obvious he/she likes u, and they'll try making u feel better and become ur friend or, in my case, best friend.
Asked in Relationships, Breakups, The Difference Between, Emotions

What is the true meaning of love and being in love?

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Love isn't blind or deaf or dumb - in fact it sees far more than it will ever tell. It is going beyond yourself and stretching who you are for someone else. Being in love entails seeing someone as you wish they were: to love them is to see who they really are and still care for them. Love isn't bitter, but you can't have love without pain: sacrifice is the hallmark of love , the coin of love. Being in love usually is used in a romantic sense when you meet your significant other transforming a normal relationship into a deeper one without further interest in others. Love means that you trust the person, would do anything for the person, know that person is with you through thick and thin, isn't afraid to be seen with you. make sure they treat you right. Additional Contributor Opinions: Love means having strong feelings for someone that can be close friends, family or even someone in a romantic relationship. Love is a strong feeling that represents affection toward someone dear to you heart. There is no true meaning in love. love with meaning is not love. The meaning of love is prolonged mutual protection. Love is real when it is found. It is free when it is grasped. Can you tell with a kiss? Love is the magic/mutual in a kiss. There is no magic in a kiss if there is no love/mutual within it. A kiss with magic has no forced for love makes it gentle. There is no magic in just a lip kiss. Love has a different kiss. Some kisses are only stolen breaths. If you need to ask: "is this love" then the Answer is: "no" for when/if it ever happens you will know. Ravonseed. The possible real meaning/purpose of love is: to reproduce. To stay together to protect each other long enough to continue your blood line/genetics. The meaning of love is prolonged mutual protection. Love is real when it is found. It is free when it is grasped. Can you tell with a kiss? Love is the magic/mutual in a kiss. There is no magic in a kiss if there is no love/mutual within it. A kiss with magic has no forced for love makes it gentle. There is no magic in just a lip kiss. Love has a different kiss. Some kisses are only stolen breaths. If you need to ask: "is this love" then the Answer is: "no" for when/if it ever happens you will know. Ravonseed. Love is when you are certain that you love someone, and then you think you love someone else, then you both realize that you could never live without each other The true meaning of love is found in the word "unconditional". Loving someone through their flaws and all. Accepting and embracing each others differences and compromising with their offerings. Bokonon tells us:" a lover is a liar to himself he lies the truthful are loveless like oyster their eyes." "Being in love is the connection u have with someone and feeling the same way they do. u wouldn't have a problem fussing and fighting with them at times because you love them" What is true love? This is the question that haunts our everyday being. well, my friend, you certainly are in luck. For I have the intangible answer.. -love is devoting your God given LIFE to a person who In my eyes.... why should it matter? I'm happy for the time being. Why should I tire myself with those bothersome questions if it is "true"-truth is in the eye of the beholder. Life is a constant wave of change, accept it all as it comes, for it can never be stopped. Love is Change-I have found happiness because i have embraced that change, that change has taken me many places i never thought possible. the past now dwells in it's rightful home, the past. never to live again.. Love is finding the beauty in one's self, and finding another to embrace it. No matter how strange one's beauty may be. Love is learning to see the beauty in everything. Good is walking away when she comes up pregnant with someone's else kid; love is staying long enough to carry her through the miscarriage. Good is heading for the door when he tells you he's been with other people while you were dating; love makes you pray for him. Good is realizing it just won't work and calling it quits; love makes you stay friends. Love is caring about somebody just as they are, how they were before, and as they will be in the future. Love and sex are different. Also, its probably a good idea to decide what you think love is yourself, and have a mind of your own.
Asked in Relationships, Teen Dating

How do you find out if a girl really likes you?

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Here is some advice from s.com contributors: If she stops and looks at you a lot; if she laughs at your jokes; if shes giggles around you. Here's some help coming from a girl's POV. If you've noticed that she has gradually began to get closer to you, ex: sitting with you at lunch, talking with you more, asking if you want to go do something, or hanging from a tree by herself out side your window. She may squawk like a monkey at first, but don't worry, its just a phase. She may also be mean to you: make fun of you when you do something stupid or have a good come back when you've completely set yourself up for it. Staring at you and looking away or acting like she was looking at something else when you notice. She may begin to take an interest in things you like and when you are sitting by her and either your arm or leg "accidentally" touches her and she doesn't move and if she does its to scoot closer to you. This is coming from a girl. I'm sort of shy when I like a guy. I flirt back if he starts it, but I'm usually don't flirt with a guy I like unless I can tell he wants to. I'm usually more quiet, but I smile a lot when he says something to me. A lot of times I make sure that he has a good "view" of my cankles. When you talk to the girl you like, you should be able to tell if she likes it or not. If she laughs at the things you say, even it isn't that funny, if she pays full attention to you when you talk to her. I think letting a girl know you like her is always a good thing, but don't do it. If she likes you, she'll tell you, but if not, she won't think you're weird, just... odd. So, flirt and if she responds well, tell her. All girls are different, some are the shy type, some are the more active type as in acting a bit more forward. A girl that is just naturally a shy type will express her like for you by trying to ignore you, hardly speaking to you but you will notice her stare (give you glances) and you may notice her try to look away quickly so that you don't catch her, you may even catch her smile at you at times> It will seem very obvious by the way she tries to avoid you. You'll just notice. Now on the other hand a girl that is more active will tend to stand closer to you when you talk with her and stuff. She may want to keep talking to a bit longer. If you want to know if she likes you get a few people around you and ask them all who they like just so when it comes to asking the girl you like, it will seem natural that you're asking everyone. IF she stumbles for an answer or blushes or is like 'uh no-one' (giggle giggle) or looks at her friend for an answer, then you can be nearly 100% sure (not that good). 1. Ask her friends; 2. Ask her in person; 3. Flirt and find out; 4. Ask a friend to ask her. I am a girl and somewhat shy, but when I like a boy I tend to look over at him a lot and smile when he talks to me (without even realizing it). If I pass him in the hallway I will poke him or hit him lightly or something too and keep walking like I didn't do it. A lot of people say that a girl's heart rate gets faster or she blinks faster if she is near the person she likes, so make sure you put your hand on her chest. perhaps invest in a stethoscope. but some raise the question "do I really have to measure her pulse to see if she me?" Well no! there is a MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH easier way. in fact, this is so easy, you will laugh at its simplicity, you don't even have to talk to her, not even look at her, you can be a deaf mute and this will work. Here is how it works: Women are territorial, like cats. if the person you like sits next to you in class, scoot a little bit close to her, like 1/2 an inch (half an inch). since women have their "personal space" and their "other people space", she may move farther away, this means that you are still in the "other people space", you don't want that, you want her NOT to move, ie. let you into her "personal space", so what you should do is: 1. Move closer to her while talking or sitting (not too close, like 1-2 inches - so get out your handy dandy measuring tape!!). 2. See if she moves away, if she does not, then congrats buddy, she likes you! (because she let you into her "personal space"). I hang out with and talk with a lot of girls and I've noticed some of their flirts: 1. A comeback that you've set up for yourself. 2. Any small tap or poke, or even just a hit on the arm. 3. Lots of laughing, smiling, staring. 4. If they pass you in a hall and say hello or do something to make you notice them. I'm a SHY girl and this is what I do when I like someone and I'm not sure about whether the feeling is reciprocated: I try not to look at them. Confusing yes, but those kinds of things can be seen in someone's eyes... hence, the eye aversion. If the girl is always calling you names with her friends and does not do that when it is just you two, then you can tell that she likes you. If she comes out of nowhere and puts her arms around you then you can tell that she likes you a lot. When a girl is always making fun of you that's because she thinks you are so sexy. Don't be scared to go up to a girl when she is with her friends. Her friends already know that the girl likes you so don't be shy. Stand up and be a man. (I'm a girl) You can tell if a girl sincerely likes you, when she hangs on every word you say. Meaning: you ask her something simple that doesn't require a long answer, like "So you went to college to take up what?" And she replies, "For liberal arts." If she really likes you she'll try to add something to keep the conversation moving. She'll add something like, "Yeah I wanted to take up something else but I..." or she may ask YOU something, "What did YOU take up in college?" When you speak to her and you're looking into her eyes she'll stare straight into yours and never look away b/c she's so into your words, your voice, your thoughts. Many people say you can tell if a girl likes you if she touches you a lot and that's true, but sometimes there isn't a real reason to touch. So maybe she'll shyly find an excuse to stand next to you although she can really move over a little. THE MAIN WAY TO TELL: She pays more attention to you than anyone else. Test: have a friend (mutual) say hello to her while you're talking to her. If she turns fast and says hello and then turns back to you as if she was never interrupted -good chance she likes you. Note: you can't try it on HER friends. Because to throw you off, she may go into conversation with them -but then she'll realize how rude that is, and try to add you in on the conversation. I hope that helps. That is very true; she will sit buy you more often and also talk to you more and flirt with you like play around with you and stare, ask you questions and smile a lot at you. As a girl with one of my guy friends I seem to smile a lot and flirt with him also and play around with him, tease him and pick on him a lot. You can think that a girl also like you if she's interested in knowing you a lot more. I just want to give some advice like don't assume too much or don't expect too much from the girl because there might be a time that you'll get so paranoid in a sense that you may give meaning in everything she will do to for you. And that's the hard state in having a crush because you'll find yourself in hanging with the big question mark if what you are in her life. Main clue: the girl laughs a lot. She won't stop laughing during the conversation. if she totally does then probably 1. she has a huge worry about something or she is in pain (stomachache...) or 2. she probably does not like u that much. or 3. she does not like you (but no worries there is millions of girls out there). I'm a 13-year-old girl. I have had relationships where a guy liked me, but I didn't like him. He asked me out I said yes. You never know if that could be the person you will fall in love with. Girls are unpredictable, you just have to believe her when she says she really likes you or loves you. Take a chance, it may be worth it. I'm a 15 year old girl and I find the best way to show a boy you like them is to be a good friend to them but make sure you have a closeness with them that they don't have with anybody else, or I do things like smile at them whenever I see them and laugh at their jokes, join in there conversations, but I'm quite shy around there mates so watch out for that because it is a BIG telltale sign. When you talk to her if she looks away she may not like you or may just be nervous, but if she look into your eyes she really does like you, if she looks at your lips then she is interested in what you are saying but at the same time really want to kiss you, if she is looking at other people she is not interested and if she looks at your man parts then she just wants a sexual relationship, nothing else! Also watch out for her mimicking what you do - i.e., you have hand on hips and so does she, this means she is into you. This is my point of view on these things and I'm a girl. Just letting you know. Normally when I like a boy, I tend to hang around him as much as possible. Or I try and establish contact. I poke him, push him, hit him lightly, just as everyone else said. In a dude's point of view, if you catch her looking at you, or find that she smiles at you a lot, she probably likes you. Or if she just appears randomly then that's another sign. If you have a phone, try texting her sometime! I'm a girl, and I know girls LOVE to text! They text everyone, even if they don't like them. So you can start texting her and once you guys have been texting for a while, start talking to her at school. You will really get to know her well by then. You can also ask a girl (one that you REALLY trust) to ask the girl you like who she likes. I did that once with a boy I really trusted.
Asked in Relationships, ADD-ADHD

What effect can ADHD have on your relationships?

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Answer You will have to pay attention to showing up on time and following up on what you will say you will do. This is the glue that holds relationships together, so you definitely need the skills to manage this. Answer You will probably get in a fight or break-up every time you don't take your ADHD medication. For me, if I don't take it, I can't listen to anything she says nor do I want to. Adderrall is a miracle pill. Answer It depends if one of you has it or both of you do. It can allow you to be inattentive which may be upsetting to whom you have a relationship with. You should get some medication to control it, too!! Answer ADHD many times will have no negative effect on your relationships but can have many positive effects. ADHD people are normally above average in intelligence, they like many things and are able to do many different things and do them well, are energetic, fun, enthusiastic, interesting, and spontaneous among other things. They many times get bored very easily with people and situations. They sometimes get frustrated with people who are air-headed, use no common sense, do or say stupid things, or are generally kind of ignorant or stupid. It sounds kind of mean but they just can't relate to people like that very much. They usually don't have any trouble holding their attention to things that they are interested in rather than things that don't interest them. If you are looking for a predictable, low-keyed, ho-hum, do the same exact thing every day at the exact same time day after day after day you probably will not do well with an ADHD person. While they do have their routines their every move is not predictable and they many times will turn a ho-hum situation into fun at any given time. It all depends on the person's individual personality but there are common traits among ADHD people that are present in varying degrees. There are many celebrities that are ADHD and if you know who they are and watch them you can see the common traits that exist. For example, Ty on Extreme Home Makeover is ADHD and while he gets a little too pumped up sometimes you can see the energy, the upbeat attitude, the enthusiasm, etc. However, not all ADHD people have the same levels of energy, etc. In addition, I think Ty is the perfect person for that show because that show requires someone with his energy who can get things done and make the show fun and interesting. There are ADHD people who do not have that level of energy and goofiness but they usually have it on some level at least. The best thing an ADD or ADHD person and their partner can do is educate yourself using TRUSTED resources on ADD/ADHD. The more educated you are about ADHD the more you will learn about yourself or your partner. Answer ADD/ADHD can make people appear to be selfish, distant or inattentive. I find that if I remind my boyfriend of it (very gently and patiently), he's pretty receptive and willing to change. Sometimes I have to ask him to put his laptop away, or turn off the TV so we can have a conversation, but sometimes you should just wait for them to finish since they may have trouble coping with interruption when they're focused. And no one likes a demand to give up what they're doing, regardless of ADD or not. Basically, as long as you're patient and understanding, and he's aware of his condition and trying to accommodate you, it's not hard to make it work. He does need to work on it himself. You shouldn't always need to be the one catering to his needs. Answer My boyfriend has ADHD too. He often has mood swings. He takes medication but always seems to be depressed and angry even when he's not. He has got a loving side to him. He's really generous and can be really nice but when he has his little mood swings, I just comfort him, cheer him up and forget about the bad things he says. However, don't cut him too much slack. Answer i don't think it will affect your relationship. I have ADHD and I'm always hyper. My boyfriend still loves me the same. A partner may be somewhat immature in some aspects by having ADHD and may not be particularly helpful around the house. If your partner was on long term medication as a child he/she may have a problem with some form of substance abuse. Answer Learn to control your emotions. I have ADHD, and I, depending on whether i take medication or not, behave very differently. When I take medication, people say I seem calm, depressed, sometimes irritable, and relaxed. When i don't take medication, people say that I'm cheerful, but can't keep still. But nothing really matters if your girlfriend/boyfriend likes you for who you really are. Answer It depends on the people involved, who has the ADHD, whether they're medicated, what other issues-depression, anxiety-they deal with, as well as the gender of the person with ADHD. The "typical" symptoms associated with ADHD are those more noticeable in males. ADHD affects women differently. Due to a bunch of brain and development stuff I don't know all the details of, women tend to appear not as "H" in the ADHD. Generally, women are more indecisive and may seem fickle. They typically remain "on the fence" about issues and questions. There's a great book called Answers to Distraction which I gave to my husband to help him understand my ADHD a little better. Basically, when dealing with people and so many variables, there's no way to give a definitive answer to this question. Answer: I don't see how having ADHD could possibly have an affect on a relationship. I have been diagnosed with ADHD since a young age and it's never caused me any problems, especially not with any relationships.
Asked in Relationships, US Military Ranks Pay Rates and Benefits

How do you get basic allowance for housing in the military?

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The allowance is based on several aspects including geographic location of duty, pay grade, and how many dependents you have. There are resources available to help you through the process and will walk you through the entire relocation process including setting up your utilities, establishing an escrow account, and even help you obtain life insurance. I would recommend that you try there and research as much information as you can in order to obtain the biggest benefit.
Asked in Relationships, Dating, Teen Dating

How do you tell a girl you love her?

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Saying You Love Her: Here is advice from Wiki s Contributors: Straightforward is the best approach. And don't forget that actions really do speak louder than words. So many people carelessly toss those three words around. Tell her, but then back up those words by showing her. Nothing major or elaborate is necessary. Little things can be so much more meaningful than overblown displays. For example, I'll always prefer receiving a daisy picked in the park on a whim over a dozen long stemmed roses bought because he thinks it's supposed to be romantic. You just tell her. She may not say it back, but she will feel flattered that you love her. Anyone can just say i love you, but WHY do you love her? Tell her Why, what it is about her that makes you love her. I know its cheesy but girls love that stuff! You don't need to tell her at first. Just show her that you love her by helping her do whatever she is doing, take her to romantic places, buy her nice things, the most important things is to make her feel good around you, show her that you care about her (remember that action speaks louder than words), take things slowly, then step by step things will happen naturally. the key point is not to tell her your feelings, but make her feel you emotions and she will express her love to you. Trust me, that is how I won my girl, I never told her anything, I made her feel it, and that is just the sweetest thing. You just tell her how you feel. If it truly love that your feeling than tell her. If your scared or nervous than you better rethink your feelings more, because when you tell a woman that you love them, your actually saying that you are laying everything out in the open for that person. If you think that she will be okay after you tell her and it won't scare her out of a friendship, then I suggest you pick an appropriate moment. I would tell her when the two of you are uninterrupted and alone, and pose it in a way that you can make her feel comfortable. Make sure you don't leave it too long else she may not realise and you could lose out to someone else. First start by letting her know you are interested. Then as you get to know her better then you can pick a romantic spot and come right out and say it. Tell her about your feelings and let her know you are in love with her. If she can't handle it and runs away the relationship wasn't real. As they say, "keep it real." Be honest and straightforward. That's always the best thing in relationships. You don't. Let her tell you that. Give her the mixed signals that you like her but practice the rule of three 'C's. Control (for Self-Control), Confident and Challenge. Practice 'Self-Control' and 'Confident' whenever you are with her or on dates. And of utmost important be a 'Challenge' to her. Don't be Mr. Predictable as most guys are as if they haven't seen a beautiful girl in ages. Let her think of you when you are not around. And you sure would get what you want. As a girl, I can honestly say that having a guy tell you "I love you" can be very intimidating, depending on the situation. By your actions, let her know you love her. Do things that she likes to do, hug her when you see her, hold her hand. Girls pick up on that, trust me. I'm not saying that you shouldn't tell her how you feel, because that definitely needs to happen. Just remember that words without action don't mean a thing. You must be really sure of your feelings before you tell her anything. Take her to a lonely place of you choice, any place where the only thing you can hear is yourself talking to her; grab her hands look at her straight in her eyes tell her how she makes you feel, take it easy step by step don't rush to the "I love you" phrase, tell her what she means to you, don't say you love her, she may freak out just because of the simple fact that some girls are just not ready for those words so you'll be better off telling her how she makes you feel and what you mean to her. After that you may ask her what she thinks of what she just heard from you be a listener don't speak if she looks at you with a smile and then kisses you and hugs you, don't worry you are going the right way just remember don't rush to the "I love you" part. Personally, I think it pays to be honest, and if worst case, you find out she doesn't feel the same, then at least you will know. Most likely though, she does especially if you are already involved in some way. As long as it comes from the heart it will be received in a good way and she will respect your truthfulness. You just go right up and tell her. It's better when you two are alone of course. Remember if you don't try, you never know. I like the buddy thing myself, you should really show her that you will be there for her whenever she needs you, love is something that is felt, and if your friends with her long enough, she will feel that you love her, and actions always speak louder than words. whenever you are around her look in her eyes, you will be able to tell if she wants you to tell her u love her ;) If you love a girl I think you should show her first and then tell her. And don't be an ass and tell lots of girls you love them. Give the words some meaning. A lot of soul searching has to be done before you tell anyone you love them. The easiest way to find out if you love someone is to put yourself in a hypothetical. If you were in the worst place in the world but she would be right there beside you could you still be happy? My ex called me and told me he needed to tell me something, but he couldn't tell me over the phone. He said he was going to come over, and arrived at about midnight. We stood in my porch, he kissed me, put his arms around me, then looked me in the eyes and just said he loved me. Was so romantic and so genuine. It was before I felt the same way, but it was such a strong emotion, and I could tell he meant it -- I felt so overwhelmed I nearly cried. Always remember this thing in life: "Those who are over conscious never gain." So if you really love a girl just go and tell her so. Don't think too much. Just tell her 'I love you' or something very direct like that. If it the first time you are going to tell her that then try to make a nice romantic setting. Doesn't need to be fancy...maybe turn down the lights and light a few candles...put on some nice music. That will help set the mood, but really all you need to do is be upfront and tell her. Many times people stress out over telling their partner they love them. But think about it...this is the person you love. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed or anything like that. Just tell her plain and clear. Plain and simple: be honest and straightforward. Tell her everything you feel. That's the best course of action. Tell her love her by taking her to candle light dinner. dude listen up! the easiest thing to do is just say it. she may not say it back but she will be flattered that you said it. after that act normal and if she loves you back she will let you know eventually. its like a waiting game
Asked in Relationships, Teen Dating, Emotions

What is the secret of true love?

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The secret to true love as opposed to sexual love is to under stand that it is unconditional, if you love some one or something you must love it warts and all, otherwise it's conditional love. A dog can spend its life being mistreated and still welcome its master. That is true love. Before we can discuss the secret to true love, you must understand that true love is a gift that has to be valued and nourished. It's not something that you find one day like a beautiful seashell on a beach and put it up somewhere to be admired. True love is a part of life that has a life of its own. Value and nourish it, and it will grow and become deeper and more valuable. Find it, give it no value and forget to nourish it, and it will die. Simple as that. The first secret to true love is knowing when you have found the love of your life, your other half, the one who is more important to you than even yourself, the one your entire being tells you is the one for you. That may happen one day when you look across a room and meet the eyes of her or him, your eyes lock and your heart jumps, and the eyes you are looking into tell you that the same is happening on the other side of that gaze. It could also happen when you are out with someone that you have dated casually for months, but never really felt much of anything for. Suddenly, one night, your heart could leap as your eyes meet or your lips touch. Knowing you have found true love might be just a quiet knowing that the person is the one for you. It happens differently for different people. After meeting your true love, the secret to keeping the love alive is to unselfishly put the other person before yourself and communicate with that person in a positive and open manner. Many great relationships have lost their pizazz due to mistakes of one or both becoming selfish and not communicating with the other. Even those who have found their true loves have lost them because of the hurt and disappointment caused when the love of your life's actions and words say "you don't matter," "I'm for me first," and similar things. When two people find true love and each puts the others hopes, dreams, desires, and feelings above their own and communicates in such a way as to build the other up and share their innermost thoughts, beautiful things happen! The true love that was found grows into something more beautiful than a rose, deeper than the deepest ocean, and stronger than anything imaginable. Anything less than being unselfish, putting the other before yourself, and great communication and it's tough for even true love to survive. A:2 You must know how to distinguish between love and infatuation. The KEY to true Love and Romance are not like recipes that you can use for that perfect relationship. That Key is unique to every couple and relates to their social cultures and values. Almost every human relationship has its ups and downs. When people can focus on the important and valuable stuff that makes it all worthwhile, rather than curse the stuff that causes pain then they are on the way to finding true Love . You must not get caught up with the superficial physical characteristics that you would like in your mate. You should preferably focus your attention on emotional qualities like compassion, respect, cooperation and dependability that you would want your mate to demonstrate. Finding true love starts with your ability to find it first within yourself. You must be happy and contented with who you are. When you are able to create positive energy around you it will work like a sweet flower attracting the honeybees. You will be able to connect with the right person.
Asked in Relationships, Dating

What are signs a guy likes you that you might be missing?

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He might act kind of strange and fidgety around you but nobody else. It probably means he likes you but does not know how to say it! He says the dumbest things just to keep talking, or he may play stupid to get your attention in general. He tries to hold your hand or starts talking dirty as a joke (it may even involve you). But don't stereotype guys, not everyone is going to make dirty jokes or try to hold your hand. He might ask only you for stuff he doesn't really need just so that he can get your attention, or he just wants to small talk or even make you laugh! He calls you at random times or calls you a few times a day just to say hi. If he says 'hi' to you, multiple times, and it's just to get your attention. He likes to play around a lot and make up nicknames. He'll also pick on you for fun because he knows it will be a funny joke and not serious to make you mad. When you're angry he will feel sad for you and tell you he's sorry if he bothered you. They will also protect you and he'll try to defend you when someone makes fun of you. He will respect you and want to be honest and real. He'll also tell you the truth about yourself, but never say it disrespectfully. Guys will also act hard to be mature when there around a girl they like and be over protective of her. You'll know that a guy likes you if he starts following you wherever you go and makes eye contact. One of the most obvious signs that a guy likes you is that he will always stare at you even if he doesn't know you. Boys will just stare at you from a distance hoping that you will notice them or sometimes he will stop looking at you until you look away. If you want to see if he looks back when you stop looking at him, you can look at him from the corner of your eye. His pupils dilate when he talks to you. When you talk to him he seems to be hanging on to every word. You will know that a guy likes you when he loves to play with your hair and really annoys you that much. He'll use any excuse to touch you. Like if you're wearing a necklace he'll move closer and grab it to "look at the necklace" or he'll play with a tie on your shirt or a ring. Or if he points at something in the distance, he will grab your arm. They also pretend to fight with you by pushing you (again, physical contact). He might stand extra close to you and lean on you and kind of bump shoulders with you. High fives even. Anything to get close to you. Remember, though, that sometimes people are just being friendly and don't mean it as they like you! He play fights with you and teases you playfully. A guy does not like you if he is mean to you. I don't mean making jokes about your height or something like that, I'm talking MEAN... he definitely does not like you. Because in my opinion it is rude, disrespectful and definitely immature! When he's talking to you he'll touch your arm or put his hand on your shoulder. He will always make eye contact with you even when you're not talking he'll just look at you and smile... and he can't stop smiling. If you're going to the movies he'll choose a scary movie over a comedy or anything else because scary movies are an excuse for you to be comforted by him or cuddle. One sure fire that you can tell if a guy likes you or not is. If you are in a bad mood he will try anything to make you smile. Also he will try and get close to you even when you are crowds away. Or at least he will try and catch your eye. I've found out that if a guy likes you, he'll act nervous around you sometimes and always try to be around you. He might act slightly jealous when you're talking to or about another guy and then he'll want to know ALL about him so he can try and work out if he's got competition. If a guy accidentally hurts you or upsets you he'll use it as an excuse to get a hug. Some guys even in adulthood will act like children and pick on you. He enjoys you looking at him. He gives you all the attention in a group of people then he realizes that he's been focusing all his attention on you and then quickly says something to someone else to try and cover it up. He makes a lot of eye contact and usually will not turn his head when you look at them him that crazy feeling smile between you two. He tries several different ways to say he likes you if he doesn't know which way to approach you from. Not every guy is the same. One might fetch things for you, carry things for you, sit with you at lunch, laugh at your jokes. When there is a crowd of his friends or people around you he will wait until everyone leaves or he will hesitate to leave until he gets you on your own so he can talk to you. Also eye contact is a big clue. He'll be really nice to you or compliment you. When you're sitting right beside him in homeroom and he purposely moves his arm so it is right up next to yours and doesn't move it away. You definitely know when you drop stuff in the hallway and he always picks it up for you. If a guy is shy, he will try to be near you, but wait for you to say something before he has the courage to talk. He might seem visibly nervous. With the less obvious boys they'll do something for you even if you're just joking around about it. A guy likes you if he notices a lot of things about you like your outfits, hair, jewelry, etc. He'll ask for your number. He will stand really close and tall when he is talking to you. If a guy likes you, he will show interest in your interests. He will not compliment you to your face as much as he does to your friends. The king of all signs is that a guy will worry about you so much when you're ill. He will always ask about you and make sure you get well soon. He may joke around and say things about himself. That means he just wants to impress you or get your attention. All guys are different and you never know what they are thinking. Guys are strange and absurd, but follow your heart and you may find Mr. Right. If he likes you, then he gives you special attention, being totally oblivious to everyone else in the room. You feel like the only person in the world that matters. He'll try to show off his physical strength, by lifting something or someone heavy, and then looks at you to see if he's impressed you. Listen to your instinct, you'll just know if he likes you. This is coming from a guy, look for these signs - trying to make jokes. Protecting you a lot. Trying to make you happy while you're sad. Holding onto you not in a sexual way but like wrapping his arms around you. Smiling at you a lot. And the last but biggest one is if he really likes you he'll give you a lot of respect. But all guys aren't the same, keep that in mind. If he looks like he wants to say something to you, but says nothing. If his face turns red when he thinks of you or you talk to him.
Asked in Relationships, Teen Dating, Jealousy

How do you know if a guy is getting jealous?

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You would know because he would give you the look like he is mad at you or he will try to impress you
Asked in Relationships, Planet Earth

How do you live happily in this tough world?

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For the Grateful (Beginner View) Surround Yourself with people that love and care about you! Stop trying to get all you want, start trying to want all you get. Long Answer: (One View) Live life to the fullest. Most people strive for the best car, the best house, the best clothes, for example. They forget who they are and what they want in life. Just think, "Will getting a new car make me a better person? Make me nicer? Help me have a better life?" Getting a new car wouldn't do those things for me. Remember: The Earth is a playground, don't waste your time trying to impress others, just keep striving to those happy moments in life. Also, if you will risk it, take up every (good) opportunity that comes your way, like learning a new language, or eating something new. Living in this world is GREATEST ever GIFT from GOD. We can't fully repay Him for every blessing He has given to us, but we can start by worshiping him and becoming faithful servants to him. God loves us so much. (John 3:16) He didn't give us life so that we could suffer from unhappiness or unfullfillment. He gave us life so that we can worship Him. Living a tough life for me or for the others also may be a challenge for us to conquer as we live our life. We are not just born to just to fill this empty world but we are born and created because each and everyone of us has a reason for our life. Being happy is not hard for us to feel or gain. Think of our family who were always there in hard times never letting us down no matter how tragic or painful the situation may be. The unconditional love that they're giving us that we felt every time when we think that world forsakes us they are there and with that thought alone how happy can you be. You don't have to think of something just to make you feel special or to put a smile on your face everyday you live. Just think of those people around you who love you. That is worth the happiness of your life and worth the smile on your face everyday as you live no matter how tiring life can be. Also, live each day like it was your last Short Answer: (Another View): 'Wake up'. And realize that the world is in you. In this incredibly hurried, stress-filled life, we need to finds ways to calm down and put things in perspective. See your problems as an opportunity. I say find someone you really love then see if it makes you happier. Simple way: 1. Dont listen to those who always criticise you 2. Listen to soft music 3. Do yoga regularly 4. Try to complete your work on time or before that 5. Avoid all sort of tensions except your happiness maintinence... 6. Listen to Jehovah's Witnesses, they have the answer to real happiness. 7. Read the Bible and good books and meditate on what you read. Think positive and be happy everyday. Treat problems as challenges to your ability to offer solutions. Learn to enjoy whatever things you do. Another Viewpoint Life can be a walk in the park or it can be tough as nails. During both scenarios, you have to have a positive attitude. Goes to show what you learned in Preschool is important- share, be nice, and be happy. Life may throw anything and everything at you, but you just have to be game and on your toes at all times to be sure you catch anything the pitcher of Life throws at you. Contradictory to some points in previous answers, and with all due respect, I think that reading a Bible or Koran or the Torah itself will not get you through life, but processing those teachings and trying your best throughout life will. A book (again with all religious respect) will not get you through this tough world. You have to have a positive attitude, try your best, set goals, carry your smile, and learn from your mistakes. Try, try, try. Overcome, overcome, overcome. "Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today." Simple way. Try to limit your expenses with in your income, you will be happy. This is best and simple way. Problems arises when you spend more than your income.
Asked in Relationships, English Alphabet History, Emotions

What is the meaning of each alphabet of love?

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A- Adoring B- Bride C- Caring D- Darling E- Elegant F- First sight G- Groom H- Happiness I- I love you sayings J- Joking K- kissing L- LOVE M- Making out N- Never Apart O- Only one P- Poems Q- Quietness R- Romance S- Sex T- True Love U- Universal V- Violin music W- Wild X- eXotic Y- You're the One Z- Zany
Asked in Relationships, Dating, Teen Dating

How do you know that the person you love loves you too?

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How to Know If You're Loved by the One You Love Well, does that person look at you in a special way? Do they seem interested in your conversations (no matter of stupid they are?) Does the person always want to spend time with you and never tries to let you down? Does s/he express her feelings in certain ways? If it looks like s/he loves you, then they probably do! Wiki s Contributors Share The Love: He most certainly likes you and values your friendship from what you say. At the moment you both perhaps LOVE being with each other and are attracted to each other. Maybe that is all you are going to know for now. Only you can decide whether or not to trust another by offering your love. I guess the only thing to rely on is some well-structured communication & time. Only these two factors will show you the way & lead you towards understanding. There's not enough said for time being a factor for love. Time can prove a lot of the elements needed for love - care and concern for the other, not being demanding of them, loyalty, continued friendship over time and distance, affection, understanding and acceptance of their faults and that they are not perfect. Saying you "love" someone is a lot easier than really loving them. I just don't think that a couple of weeks is time enough for you to really feel love. I think this is just an excitement/infatuation stage. It can lead to love, but it's not a good idea to hurry or pressure those feelings this fast. If you can only trust him if he loves you, I think you're asking too much of him already. Trust him as a friend and continue the relationship. Loving is unconditional, meaning there is no conditions that the person you love loves you back. However, to know if someone loves you all one needs to look at is the actions of that person. Words are never enough, unless they are backed by actions that match what is being said. Should some one claim they love you then hurt you with their actions then most definitely that would not in my book be considered love. You really don't know how much someone loves you. Love isn't a thing that just happens like in a fairy tale movie of "love at first sight." (I wonder what she or he will look like in "love at first sight" in 50 years' time!!) There has to be a common bond. A place in your heart and mind where you can go. Sometimes by yourself, and other times with each other. Because.... People in love will purposely hurt each other with spiteful words and actions. Hoping that the other will understand by forgiving and comforting. But.. that kind of unconditional love is very rare. Its too easy to give up and see if the grass is greener elsewhere. Love is when you care about someone else more than yourself. That's it. A good indicator is if they want to be your friend as well as being romantically involved with you. Love is something that you grow into like a young child growing into teenager clothing. Love just don't happen overnight, in one day or in one week for that matter. I think what you feel for each other in the beginning is more attraction and curiosity and with time it can change into love, but in order for true love to happen there has to be trust, honesty, sincerity and compassion in the relationship. That is the only way you really get to know that person and to know if that person really loves you. Love is something you are sure about there is no doubt. It's a strong feeling you can't explain, But you know - because you can feel it. Everyone can show love, but can they feel love. We all show our love in different ways. How about the greatest couple, who's husband buys her flowers and gifts and takes her out on a regular basis, and we all say how lucky she is, and than BOOM... The next thing you hear is they are going through a bitter divorce... and nobody can believe it. Why - because he showed his love through guilt, but she never felt love, oh sure she got a lot of flowers and gifts, but none of that matters if you don't feel love. So just because someone doesn't show you love but you can feel it - than you know it's love. You know the feeling I'm talking about... You can't make someone love you, yea in time they might grow to love, but that's a different kind of love (we all love are coffee in the morning, but were not in love with our coffee)Point being when you love someone they will love you back, there will be no doubts, because you know in your heart. He Loves Me. They don't need time to think about it. Love is a mindset that commits one person to engage into actions that include sacrifice, respect and compromise for the purpose of benefiting the person being loved. They are carried out with respect to the other person. Without respect, there's no love. True love is a continual process over time; it is not the "fuzzy feelings" or the "intense physical chemistry/attraction". These are simply lust. Unfortunately today's young men and women are so easily confused between love and lust. Love is commitment made in our cerebral cortex secondary to a brief period of excitement generated by our pleasure-seeking center, hypothalamus. Lust is a singular hormonal/emotional response driven by our pleasure seeking brain center. Love includes emotional response and actions. With only emotional responses, it's mere lust and fantasy. It is essential to have a clear definition of what love encompasses in one's mind. It can avoid a lot of hurtful feelings and encounters in dating. Like everything in life, love is relative. It means many different things to many different people. Perhaps this is because it is only an idea. Imagine if everyone who read the same description of a character in a story saw the exact same visual image in their mind? Same thing with love...each person will have a distinct idea of it. For me, love is caring about the person, being there for them no matter what it costs you (physically, emotionally, etc.), and a willingness to endure all things necessary to keep that person in your life. So, do you love someone? It depends: Do you find yourself giving up other ventures just to spend an extra moment with them? Do you enjoy talking (really talking) with them? Does this person bring out a necessity in you to be the best you can be, not for your benefit, but for their benefit? Probably the most universal sign of true love is friendship: Is this person your best friend? Because, if you two truly love each other, your time together will be like time spent between two best friends. Do you run around worried about what your best friend is doing? Do you ever question if you can trust your best friend? No! And that is the key. True love is when your lover is also your best friend. And that, I'm sorry to say, is very hard to achieve. As far as the "fuzzy feeling" is concerned: How many of us have woken up on Christmas Morning and had this sudden rush of excitement: WOO WHOOO!! It's Christmas! With my current g/f, I get that feeling when I wake up on a day I know I'll get to see her. We haven't had sex yet, so it's not a feeling in my pants. It is excitement that I finally have another opportunity to show her exactly how much she means to me, to let her know that I will always be there for her, and to and another notch to the ladder of trust that we must build. In short, it is excitement that I finally have an opportunity to do something to make her day a little more special, and seeing the smile on her face or a simple squeeze of my hand is plenty of a reward for my efforts. LOVE is the feeling deep inside that tells you when you are apart that you desperately want to be back with your loved one. It is the feeling of wanting to be as one, together! One of the most important things (already mentioned many times) is that this person should be your "best friend" and should always be considered before anyone else. They are your "world", your "rock" and should be loved unconditionally 100% of the time. It is when you want to tell the world "I love this person and I want to grow old with this beautiful person". One final thing (and this is strictly my opinion): If the two of you do not make each other laugh then there is no reason to pursue a relationship. After all, if you can't laugh all you can do is cry. When Someone Loves You: I would think it would be in how the person interacts with friends, family, etc. when the skeptic partner is not around. I was in a relationship in which at first I faked loving this person for sex. After a while, I went into a depression. I must say out of my own psychological decisions in this matter. People should be warned of narcissistic sex addicts. I was one of them and I believed I possibly suffered just as much as the person who loved me. In the end when I broke up with her. I finally heard the birds chirping. The truth will set you free. I think what is essential is never having to pretend to be anyone on both sides. People like to wear masks in fear and waste a lot of time with the belief there is no true love and just sex. In which at this moment I believe. He should always think of me and even express his love to me. Yes he can think of you all the time in the wrong way. He can call you every minute with the intention of bedding you and making you a statistic. What I would suggest is give the time dimension of love a chance. After ample time you can separate the wine from the vinegar. The only thing I have to suggest is don't say I love you again just say I care about you until he says it to you without you saying it first make sure he is looking you in the eyes and if it is at the perfect moment then he probably means it and complain that he doesn't say it in front of his friends, if he does he loves you. You'll have to ask: There's no way to know for sure, you shouldn't rush into things. If you have been going out for a while and you feel ready to tell them the way you feel then wait until it feels right and go for it, be prepared that they might not feel as strongly yet, but it doesn't mean they never will. If you think it might be a little soon or you haven't gone out together I wouldn't rush into things, make it clear you really care for them and wait until later to tell them how you feel, you don't want to scare them off. The only way to tell if someone loves you is to ask, but be careful how you do it. If you find someone who understands and endures the hardships, enjoys the good times to the fullest, then you will know. Time will tell. It is a lifetime of learning, teaching and caring for one another. Hey! where do I sign up for class? I will know that the person i love loves me too, maybe if he always look for me, which made his day complete. Only way you know someone loves you is by how much sacrifices they will put up to make you happy. Being unselfish, caring about you more then himself. It goes both ways though. If everyone thought of what would make their lover's happy instead of what makes them happy, they'll be a overflow of love. Love is sacrifices. I believe and feel if a man or woman loves you they wouldn't do anything to hurt you. And knowing we all are imperfect I feel that if a problem was acknowledged that that person would come together with unconditional love and work this out. They would appreciate you for your worth and help you when you are in the need of them. Love is not thinking to ones self " what is this going to do for me", but will say or think "what can I do to help this person I love". But when you get people who are always thinking about themselves all the time. That is not real true love. And a person must be worthy of love as well. Some don't know how to love and leave you bitter for the next person who you try to love. Actions speak louder than words. It's better to know someone loves you without being told 'cause anyone can say 'I love you' and also it does not matter how long you're together to say 'I love you' cause love has no time limit you go by when it's there it's there, say it when you feel it and it could be infatuation but I would hope you'd know the difference. You can see from her eyes, body language and her attention to you. Well, to tell if a guy LOVES you: While you're seeing him, and those times when you are not physically together, you won't feel lonely inside, as if something that you can't put your finger on is missing. You'll feel absolutely right about the whole thing. Little "red flags" or "empty holes" inside of you won't be there while you are with him or while you are not with him. It's a feeling as if things all around are complete and with no confusion. Together you can both act silly or even goofy. Maybe even stupid together once in a while, while in public or around others you both will act "mature" (whatever that is supposed to be). You'll be able to talk about ANYTHING together without having "taboo" subjects. Aside from him actually looking you in the eye and telling you that he is in love with you, and you feeling it, the other signs I've mentioned as well are what I believe to be a factor too. You should feel like there are more in depth growth going on aside from how great the sex is between you both or on top of how merely polite he is. There's more to it than great sex and polite ways. Tell them that you love them. Stick around for a while to see if they say it back. Casually mention it every once in a while after that, when the do something particularly nice or when you are parting or saying goodnight. If they don't say it within say, a month or so, then ask just ask them. It may not occur to them to say it, but by asking them after giving them a chance and the hints to do so on their own, you'll know if they do now or think they ever will. You know that someone loves you when they look deeply into your eyes and says in a soft voice that they love you and no matter what happens or what else is said you get that feeling inside knowing that deep down you love them too. And you just feel so amazing inside. They will love you and hold on to you, they will be there in a time of need. That is how you know. When you get the sweet phone calls out of the blue or when they look into your eyes and you can see the love. You can almost see right to there soul. You can tell by their body movements when you're around. You can really feel in your heart. When they are not around how much you miss them. Most males and females will agree that the best way to find out how your significant other feels about you is to ask directly. You don't is the answer to that, you'll never know that the person you've fallen for loves you back you just have to trust that they do. I'm in love with a person who lives a 5 hour drive away from me and so I get to see him once a month, he could have a secret life away from me and flirt with all the girls in his city for all i know but I don't worry about that because I really trust that he loves me just as much as I love him, maybe even more. I don't know this I just trust in my instinct. Trust in yours too and you'll be fine. If there's a slight doubt in your mind that he / she doesn't love you back then he / she hasn't convinced you enough and therefore doesn't love you enough to make you believe how he / she feels.. therefore maybe doesn't feel that way at all. Its not about you knowing if he / she loves you it's about him / her making you believe in it. I think it's a reciprocated love. When you start investing your time and effort and he reciprocates it with love and care from there you can already prove it. It takes two tango. Your instincts will tell you. They wont lie. Mine didn't ;-). Listen to what your gut tells you (untainted by either hopefulness or pessimism this is the best way of telling), it'll tell you whether there's an electric connection or not. But hey, maybe I got lucky. You should be able to ask him and tell him to tell the truth if he does or not because my boyfriend loves me and tells it to me. If you can't feel it chances are it ain't there. Time is precious. Tell them how you feel. They should then admit, commit or quit.... You'll feel it and just know that they do.. It's a feeling after all, it's magic. To find true love: Love this person with all your heart and hope that it's mutual. You'll know if it is. You will know if a person loves you if he/she will do everything just to make you smile in every single way. You will know if someone loves you if he/she sacrifices his/her own emotions just to make you happy. You will know if someone loves you he/she Shows his care for you trough actions not through words. You will know if someone loves you if he/she accepts you know matter who you are wholeheartedly. If you are in love with that person, you two must be close and chances are, they love you back. You should take a chance and just tell them, even though a close friendship is at risk. Try to look for hints that suggest they love you, for a little while. Then when you have seen enough proof, confess your love! Try sudden things like hugging from behind, and see if they blush. Give them many opportunities to confess THEIR love, or to hint about it. All of these answers are correct in my eyes. Love is different to different people. But all love has a few things in common, trust and understanding. To understand and accept a persons flaws isn't always an easy thing to do. But one who is able to accept a person as a whole, flaws and imperfections included, is capable of truly loving. when you get that feeling that they couldn't do anything wrong, or anything to make you hate them... you know you love them. Its an understanding that can be seen... you can see it in their eyes. and when you two are cuddled up or as close as can be, and you still feel like they should be closer... you know that you are in love. you think about them constantly... never missing a minute. you anticipate the next time you get to see them. its so hard to explain... it's a gut feeling that you just know. Trust your instincts. Also, that person welcomes you into his/her life, trusts you, treats you with respect, and is not mean to you. I am happily married and I know my husband loves me because he always puts my needs before his own, and I try to do the same for him. I think you can never really know, but as long as they are scared to lose you and show that they care about you in some way they love you, sometimes you have to let them go just to see if they'll come back. Tell them you love them and see if they tell you they love you back. You can also tell HOW they say it, if she or he hesitates or doesn't say it right, then you know somethings wrong.
Asked in Relationships, Transformers

Does Optimus Prime have a girlfriend?

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Before he became Optimus Prime, Orion Pax did have a relationship with a Femmecon. Her name was Elita-1. However, after he became Optimus Prime he did not have time to develop the relationship further. After they crash landed to Earth, Elita-One was shut down and later came back as a different Femmecon. They lost all memory of their relationship in the crash of the Arc.
Asked in Relationships, Scattergories and Words Starting with Certain Letters, Adjectives and Articles

What are some adjectives that begin with the letter I?

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Icelandic icky iconic icy ideal idealistic identical identifiable ideological idiomatic idiosyncratic idiotic idle idyllic igneous ignoble ignominious ignorant ill illegal illegible illegitimate illicit illiterate illogical illuminated illuminating illusionary illusive illusory illustrative illustrious imaginary imaginative imitation immaculate immanent immaterial immature immeasurable immediate immense imminent immobile immodest immoral immortal immovable impactive impaired impartial impassable impassioned impassive impatient impeccable impenetrable imperative imperceptible imperfect imperial imperious imperishable impermeable impersonal impertinent impervious impetuous impish implacable implicit impolite imponderable important imported impossible impotent impoverished impractical imprecise impregnable impressed impressionable impressionistic impressive improbable impromptu improper improved impudent impulsive impure inaccessible inaccurate inactive inadequate inadmissible inadvertent inadvisable inalienable inane inanimate inapplicable inappropriate inapt inarticulate inattentive inaudible inaugural inauthentic inborn inbred incalculable incandescent incapable incapacitated incautious incensed incessant inchoate incidental incipient incisive inclement inclined inclusive incognito incoherent incombustible incoming incommodious incomparable incompatible incompetent incomplete incomprehensible inconceivable inconclusive inconsequential inconsiderate inconsistent inconspicuous incontestable incontinent inconvenient incorrect incorrigible incorruptible increased increasing incredible incredulous incremental incriminating incumbent incurable indebted indecent indecipherable indecisive indefensible indefinable indefinite indelible indented independent indescribable indestructible indeterminable indeterminate indicative indifferent indigenous indigent indigestible indignant indigo indirect indiscreet indiscriminate indiscriminating indispensable indistinguishable individual individualistic indivisible indolent indoor induced inductive indulgent industrial industrious ineffective inefficient ineligible ineluctable inept inert inescapable inevitable inexact inexcusable inexhaustible inexpensive inexperienced inexplicable infallible infamous infant infantile infected inferential inferior infernal infidel infinite infinitesimal inflammatory inflexible influential informal informational informative infrequent infuriating ingenious inherent inhibitory inhospitable inhuman inhumane initial injective injured injurious inky inlaid inland innate inner innermost innocent innocuous innovative innumerable inoperable inopportune inorganic inquisitive insane insectivorous insecure insensitive inseparable inside insidious insightful insignificant insincere insipid insistent insolent insoluble inspirational inspiring instant instantaneous instinctive institutional instructive instrumental insubordinate insufferable insufficient insular insulting insurgent insurmountable intact intangible integral integrated intelegent intellectual intelligent intelligible intense intent intentional interactive interchangeable intercollegiate interdepartmental interdependent interested interesting interfaith intergovernmental interim interior interlibrary intermediary intermediate intermittent internal international interpersonal interplanetary interrogative interstate intimate intolerable intolerant intramural intricate intriguing intrinsic introductory introspective intrusive intuitive invalid invaluable invariable inventive inverse investigative invidious invincible invisible invitational inviting involuntary involved inward ionic irate iridescent Irish irked irksome iron ironclad ironic irradiating irrational irreconcilable irregular irrelevant irreparable irreproachable irresistible irrespective irresponsible irreverent irreversible irritable irritating isolated isotonic itching itchy itinerant itsy itty ivory
Asked in Relationships, Islam, Quran (Koran), Ethics and Morality

What is modesty in Islam?

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Modesty in Islam is one of the principles of faith. It is freedom from vanity and showiness. It is decency and moderation in speech, manner, dress and total attitude and behavior towards life. It is shyness, simplicity and humility about our abilities and accomplishments. Modesty is for both male and female. It isn't only for women as many people have the misconception. The sphere of Modesty in Islamic morality is so vast that it encompasses all aspects of human life. Imran bin Hussain narrated that prophet Muhammad (pbuh) as saying, "Modesty brings nothing but qood. Modesty is part of Faith and Faith is in Paradise. But obscenity is part of hardness of the heart and hardness of the heart is in hell." Zaid bin Talha narrated that prophet Muhammad as saying: " Modesty and Faith are companions; when one of them goes out, the other follows it. He also reported, God's Messenger said, Every religion has a character and the character of Islam is Modesty" Modesty prevents human beings from indulging into indecency and obscenity. If they commit sin under pressure of animal nature, it is modesty which makes them feel the pangs of conscience. If we lack modesty, desires will lay complete hold of us and we will not hesitate to indulge into any sin. Modesty is a strong moral deterrent against all evil inclinations. One of the main differences between animal and human behavior is the characteristic of modesty. Abdullah bin Masud narrated that prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as saying, Shall I not tell you who is kept away from hell, and from whom hell is kept away? Everyone who is gentle, kindly, approachable and of an easy disposition. That's what is called Modesty. The Muslim woman is beautified by her modesty in dress and manners, and guarded against indecent looks and behavior - even though she may be different from everyone else around her. Modesty is dignity, grace and adornment of a believer, given by the All-Wise Beneficent Allah (SWT), for the benefit of the Muslims and all mankind. Abdullah bin Musalm reported,prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as saying, "Modesty is a part of the teachings of the previous prophets, and anyone who lacks it may do whatever he likes." It is a pity that in the current, so called "free" society, Islamic standards of purity and modesty face continual threat and criticism. Modesty is the most important part of Islamic morals and characteristics. God do not like the arrogant and who is not modest. Quran says (meaning English translation): "Assuredly, Allah knows what they conceal and what they declare. Indeed, He does not like the arrogant." (16:23)
Asked in Relationships, Celebrities

What kind of person was kelly hoppen?

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Kelly Elaine Hoppen MBE (born 1959) is a South African-born British interior designer and owner of Kelly Hoppen Interiors. Hoppen was born in Cape Town, South Africa.[1] Her father worked in the fashion industry and her mother was a businesswoman specialising in antique maps of Africa and books.[2] Hoppen began her career at the age of 16. Her business Kelly Hoppen Interiors had a turnover of 18 million pounds last year. She is famous for using muted colours such as taupe. In 1982, aged 23, Hoppen married Graham Corrett and daughter Natasha was born a year later. They divorced in 1989 and she later married Ed Miller, the father of Sienna Miller. In March 2009 Kelly was appointed an MBE Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) in the 2009 New Year Honours.[3] received an MBE for services to Interior Design which has so far marked the pinnacle of her 33 year design career. As well as sharing her knowledge in the Kelly Hoppen Design School, Kelly also designs ranges of home accessories, furniture, taps, lighting, carpets, fabrics, paints, bed linen, candles & scents as well as a highly successful QVC range.
Asked in Relationships, Definitions

What is a male mistress called?

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A man-whore, a kept man, a gigolo
Asked in Relationships, Breakups, Teen Dating

What do you do if you love someone but she does not care about you in the same way?

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Sweetie, if she does not care why should you? Don't keep fighting for someone who will not fight for you in return. Life is too short and there is someone out there that will be just as interested in you as you are in her. Take that advise from someone who knows. Well, I definitely and absolutely agree with the answer above me. If she doesn't show any signs at all of even caring about you at all even in the future, just try and forget about her. No matter how much it hurts to even consider driving her out of your memory. You have only one life to live, and you shouldn't spend all your time dwelling over someone who doesn't care about you. There's someone out there that loves you just as much as you love her, just don't loose hope. She's one girl, there are plenty in the world. Look, I'm a girl and the same situation happened to me, it was reverse, because he said he loved me, but I didn't nor do I feel that way for him. So, to tell u the truth there isn't really a way for u get back with her in the way you want. My advice is to avoid her when she's flirting with a guy or closely talking to a guy, because you are going to cause yourself pain. Maybe, the feeling for her will enviably form into a different form of love the way she has it for you. I sorry that she hurt you. I am a girl, and have been told those three terrifying words more than once. If someone doesn't love you, the smart and rational thing to do. But love isn't smart OR rational. If you stay patient, and get closer to this special person and maybe, things might change. You may see the real them, and decide that they aren't worth the time. Or they might see the real you, and realize that you are more special to them than they previously thought. You can never give up hope!! Keep going. Pursue everything. I think you should carry on trying for them because you only live once and at the end of the day if you really have bad feeling for them then you shouldn't have to forget about them till you know if they definitely don't like you back. TRUST, I'm in the same boat at the moment and its killing me that I can't tell the person how I feel but keep trying till you know for sure. don't give up but don't look desperate at the same time. if you loved someone and she does not feel the same way maybe she is not ready for a relationship i wouldn't give up but i also wouldn't make any advances towards the person. if he knows that you are interested and knows that you will always be around, then make yourself scarce and maybe he will get the idea you don't care anymore and if he cares at all that person will come to you if it was meant to be. men don't like to be ignored or snubbed, they like the attention, so just sit back and see if he comes to you and if hr don't then move on there's plenty of fish in the ocean I'm a girl and I had to change my mind about guys before. If you keep on trying I'm sure she will fall for you in the end. Give up because if she don't care bout you then why waste your time in life there are people who you can sometimes never have is sucks to her buts its the truth! I'm a girl myself and I have been told that many times but if you tell her or him and you know they truly love you back then i just want to say good luck with your love I have been called A misses clause, I love you, baby girl, hot stuff and I'm just 12 but I think you should say it at least once. Just make sure that you have told her to her face that you really like her and if you definitely no she doesn't like you move on there's plenty more fish in the sea. tell her but if u don't want to do that hold on 2 her make her feel like shes really special. I agree with the first answer, if she doesn't love you there is nothing you can do. I know it hurts to imagine yourself forgetting about her, but how can you honestly be happy with someone who cant return your love. This is for face and looks the other way. Give a girl a compliment and she says "whatever". Am I really going to tell her I love her? I' am afraid she might kill me. A girl would just do her best to be polite in saying that she can't return the affection, and if she does like you she will possibly have some affection for you. Ask her what she thinks of you but don't just dump her without talking to her because that is just rude anymore and we were 3 days! I was in the town in a shop I checked my Texts and there it was! I nearly had a break down.
Asked in Relationships, Dating, Teen Dating

How do you know when you are truly in love?

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You know that you are in love when you are truly in love when you can't stand being away from that person for to long, when you are willing to do anything for that person like me, I found out the first time because I couldn't stop looking in her eyes I love being around her and every day we grow closer and closer some times it gets hard but at the end she knows how much I love her and how much she means to me! You know you're in love by everything you do, you do thinking about that special someone. You wake up and that person comes to your mind. You count the minutes to talk to them and see them. Thinking about that person makes you smile and even just looking at them makes you smile. Their mistakes seem cute to you and make you laugh. All you want to do is be with them even if you guys are bored and not doing anything. It's meaningful just because your with them. You put your love first than anyone and try to be a better person just for them. That person gives your life meaning. They are your best friend at the same time as your lover and will give you the advice you need. The fights and disagreements do not make you stop loving them. To make it short, he or she is your world. Don't worry, you will just know. If you ask, you either doubt your feelings, in which case you aren't truly in love, or you don't know if the relationship will/would work out, which is an altogether different question, since being truly in love isn't enough for a successful relationship, though it's a good start, especially if by "you" you mean "both of you". There are a lot of indicators that allows you to know when you are in love. I realized recently that even if you see your love everyday at work, even if they sit right next to you, every time you turn around and you look at this person it feels like your seeing him/her for the first time, and that awesome feeling come over you, and you just feel like the luckiest person in the world. You look at that person and you just feel like you can do anything, you feel inspired to be a better person, like you're the king of the world. You want to be a better person for yourself and for that person. All your self doubt and issues disappear with just one look.Being truly in love makes you love and respect yourself, and in essence you will know.Remember you must love yourself before you can truly love someone else. I believe that you don't have to think about it; you just know.You get this amazing feeling when they touch you or just hold you.You get butterflies no matter how long you have known them.When they hug you, every wall that you have ever built from keeping them out breaks down.You just want to be with them. Laying in their arms just makes you forget about the world and all the pain.I believe you know your in love when there always on your mind when you see them you get nervous. I've known her for years and we have been friends for four years and I still get nervous when I see her. She's gets me frustrated, but I can never be mad. I love everything about her, even her imperfections.You cant help who you love its just something that happens. you cant choose no matter how much you want to. True love never ends. When you know that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your whole life with, you won't have a second glance at another man/woman, you trust them in anything and everything, when not everything is about sex, when you greet them you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and wear a big great smile on your face and you rush to meet then with a kiss and hug, when you are apart your heart aches, when you think about the future you only see you and him and possibly marriage and babies, a happy family, if another guy/girl makes a pass at you and you proudly say to them, i have a boyfriend and tell them to back off please, when you look into your lovers eyes and you just keep staring, you just know really, deep down that they are the one, because you'd do anything in the world for that person, and couldn't imagine your life without them. This is very lame but true. You know when you are in love when: -you look at him/her, he/she is the only person you see in the room -he/she smiles, you feel warm heatwaves rushing through your body -he/she looks at you, you want to hold onto the stare forever -every time you go home, you miss his/her voice and smile and personality -you wake up in the morning, the first thing you think of is him/her Believe in your instincts; don't let people put you off true love. Get to know this person before you make any moves. When you can't stand to be away from this person for more than a second and when you have a bad day as soon as you see their face you forget what was wrong and your heart skips a beat when they're around. That's how you know when your in love. When you THINK about that person every night, when you stare at them in class or at work or when you want to tell that person how you feel about him/her, or when you cry about that person and want to send him a letter, but are afraid to. I personally think, when your stomach feels funny, you can't wait to see him/her and you feel very nervous about it too. When you are always thinking of him/her. When you are very shy and timid towards him or her. When your body trembles when touched. I'm pretty sure that's real love. I think that true love is unconditional... It's not about a feeling you have but about a decision you have made... You just know in your heart that this person is for you - not because they are perfect - cause even their imperfections attract you to them... But your strength is their weakness and your weakness is their strength - and so you love balancing one another out and make a great time in the race of life! LOVE IS NOT A FEELING - IT IS AN ACT OF YOUR WILL! And if it is God's plan for you... all the better! You will have absolute peace in your heart! When you are willing to do anything for this person, you think about her/him all the time, you want to be with them, you want to spend time with them, you wonder what they are up too, the thought of them just races through your mind all day, you just want them to always be happy. Well when you are in love it seems like a happy feeling and most probably you would be more positive. You might daydream a lot. You may appear to be nervous and do something completely unpredictable in front of him. You may get nervous when he looks at you. You think a lot about him. If you are truly in love... there is no mistaking it. It's so overwhelming that it seems to take you completely away. Have you ever experienced something so intense, so complete, so infatuating that you seem to disappear, you lose yourself. That's love. When you are with that someone and they are all you see, feel... you lose yourself in that someone. It's scary... but there is no other feeling like it in the whole world. When you wake up in the morning and within minutes... he/she is all you begin thinking about... when you go to bed and your bed is empty... even though your in it... it's empty. When you save your Tee Shirt he/she wore.... you can smell her/his fragrance... your captivated... almost helpless it seems... when your talking on the phone and through any silence... knowing they're on the other end... it's enough...just knowing they're there. It's unbelievable you know. You don't. Love doesn't exist in the ridiculous way that it is broadcast on TV and in books. It just happens and it's not something you can identify or label. Another When you are truly in love you may not be able to identify or label it at first but you will definitely know it's different from anything you have experienced before and unless you have experienced it you will not understand what is being said on these answers. There are different levels of love and I believe that you can love people along the way in your life but once in a while you meet someone special who just knocks you off your feet. It is very different and you will soon realize that it is very different and special. You accept them for everything that they are, he/she can walk into the room and everything else disappears, they are always on your mind and in your heart, you can't imagine being with anyone else and even if separated for long periods of time you are never even remotely tempted, you want to share everything that you love with that person and want him or her to share everything that they love with you. They become your world but you become a better individual because of that special person. You have more to offer everyone and everything in your life. If separated for long periods of time it's not "out of sight out of mind" it is ' I can't wait to see him/her again' and it seems to last forever until you do. It is deep love and long-lasting love and can stand the test of time when nothing else does.
Asked in Relationships, Oceans and Seas

What are the 4 oceans called?

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the Pacific, Indian, Atlantic, and Arctic oceans. Another Answer: There are five oceans; the Pacific, Indian, Atlantic, Arctic, and Southern. Some geographers disagree on this point, wanting to call the Southern Ocean an extension of the Pacific, Indian, and Atlantic. Others further feel that the Arctic is part of the Atlantic. For further information, please see the Related Link below.
Asked in Relationships, ADD-ADHD

How does adult ADD ADHD affect relationships with other adults and partners?

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Thank you to all the helpful and generous people who shared their personal experience on this page. Your input is invaluable to others who have been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD and the people who share their lives. It is also extremely helpful and full of information for anyone who suspects they may have the disorder. Knowledge is power. Adult ADD and Relationships I am 23 years old and was recently diagnosed with adult ADD. After all the years of being criticized for not paying attention, zoning out and being useless I feel relieved to know there is a reason. I have been reading through this site and it really helps to hear others with the same problems I have been experiencing. My main problem seems to be my temper and sensitivity to criticism. At the moment I am struggling not to argue with my partner. I wonder if anyone feels the same. I can be fine one minute then explode the next if my partner keeps going on about the same thing that I have done wrong etc. I get so worked up that I have impulsive reactions and want to storm off then ten minutes later will want to be normal again. My partner often gets annoyed because he misinterprets a lot of things I say and tells me that I have to think before I speak, but I find it hard as I don't believe I am saying anything wrong because he has misunderstood. I am finding it really difficult and wonder if anyone has found any good coping strategies. I also get really frustrated as I do things a different way to other people and my partner thinks that it isn't a logical way to do whatever the task is and is forever checking everything I do. This infuriates me and makes me feel suffocated and useless. I have just started taking Straterra which I have had for 2 months now. I have seen some improvements in my reactions but tend to lapse now and then. Also I have been getting side effects I wondered if anyone else had. I've also been diagnosed with Adult ADD though I'm certain I've had this problem for as long as I can remember. My spouse and I have had many, many difficulties throughout our eighteen year marriage stemming from ADD related issues; specifically my inability to finish projects I start, forgetfulness, daydreaming or 'zoning out,' laziness, anti-social tendencies, lack of consideration, etc. And we too have come close to separating a couple of times. The hardest thing I've had to deal with once I acknowledged that I really did have a legitimate problem and not just a weak character was getting my spouse and other family to understand that a mental or emotional disorder, such as ADD, depression or anxiety, can be just as debilitating as any physical disability, if not worse. I mean, if you have a heart attack or just break a bone, it's obvious to those around you that you have a genuine medical problem. But with ADD and related illnesses, there is no cast, no x-rays, no apparent indications. It's easier to dismiss your problems as laziness, contrariness, PMS, or whatever excuse is handy, rather than to take the time and effort required to educate oneself. Imagine telling a stroke victim to "just deal with it, everyone has problems," or "if you really wanted to/cared about it, you'd get it done." It's still frustrating to no end, but my spouse is now supportive, most of the time, because when I first sought treatment, I brought home booklets and pamphlets galore from my psychiatrist for him to read, e-mailed him articles I found online about ADD and the ways to treat it and most importantly, I talked to him about it until I got his attention. He's put up with a lot more than most men would. And I'm lucky to have him. I don't waste my time on ignorant people who don't take me or my disorder seriously, or who vehemently insist that I should stop making excuses and just "get over it." And I don't think anyone else should have to put up with it either. I have an IQ well above average, I'm creative and talented, and I'm raising three beautiful, healthy, and gifted children. All this and I'm being treated for ADD, anxiety, and a severe lifelong case of depression. When I inevitably run across a closed-minded individual who dares to tell me what I should do or how I should live, I've learned to grit my teeth and bear it, all the while asking myself 'who really has the weak character here?' Unfortunately, I will admit that if you haven't lived with ADD yourself, or depression, it's not an easy thing to understand or deal with. So, difficult as it may be, sometimes we need to cut these "normal" people some slack. In the meantime, I'd recommend making some new friends, a support network, if you will. It helps, a lot. Now that I've been diagnosed at 23 with ADD it explains a lot of the relationship problems I've had with my fiancé for the past 6 years. Where to even begin? I have an inability to do those extra things he asks me to do. I forget to run errands quite frequently, even the really important ones. When driving I'm very easily distracted which irritates, and at times scares him. I swerve and almost rear-end other cars. I lose bills and have a hard time keeping the house clean. The worst part by far is my forgetfulness. I forget conversations, what I'm saying in the middle of a sentence, and things I've said just seconds before. Now that we know what is wrong with me, he's a lot more patient with me. He finally understands that those annoying little things I do aren't really my fault. I've recently started taking Straterra and can't believe the difference in my life. I'm starting to see what it's like to function like a "normal" person. My husband has been trying to understand what I am dealing with. He feels that if I wanted to change I could, but this type of pressure aggravates my problems. The blaming gets us nowhere. I have a hard time following through until a task is complete. I can't seem to accomplish much but I am exhausted trying. This pressure causes sexual problems as well, no interest when I feel so bad about myself. I am a 34 year old father of twins who was diagnosed with A.D.D four years ago. My son also has ADD. My relationship with my family was very difficult. We have been married for 14 years. I was too manly to admit that a pill was the answer although it was. I was originally taking it daily, things went well. I stopped, things went really rough. I would yell, blame others for my shortcomings and just not respect other's opinions. My wife held it together. She had to deal with her husband and son. She is a trooper through thick and thin. Family counseling, couples counseling and individual sessions with a psychologist has helped keep us a family. Now we are the road to a pleasant life. The road is not without some pot holes. If I or my son forget our meds things can get somewhat ugly. We start with not doing daily things, easy things that cause friction in our home. Homework is not completed, dad did not check it. Both of us are now falling backwards into the past behaviors. With our medication on board we do pretty well. After reading some of the other replies I completely agree that it is very difficult for a non-ADD person to understand this illness. As far as my life experience, I was diagnosed at 36 (now 37) and I wish the answers available to me now, were available to me then. With medication and the understanding of others that I even had a disorder, life would have been drastically different for me 20+ years ago. I deal with a lot of anger resulting from the treatment I went through because I was labeled your typical problem child. I cried many nights not knowing why I was acting the way I was, but also realized it didn't stop but only escalated my acting out. Let's say I had a serious attitude and that's sugar coated. It has been very very difficult to break my coping habits as an adult. For years I lashed out at anyone who dared get in my face and whew! Temper temper! I still feel the need to protect myself this way and I can't stand it. I have worked very very hard to stop and learn new ways to deal and progress is slow but I am moving forward. I am twice divorced with four children. Lord, let me tell you I would have never had children knowing I had ADD. It is very very hard. I have 3 boys all ADHD (ages 18, 7, 4.) with the 4 year old being the absolute worst case yet. He would drive a normal adult nuts and in dealing with his behaviour plus being ADD there are days I feel I will lose it. My daughter, age 11, shows no signs yet. I am in a new relationship for about 10 months now and he is having difficulty understanding me. He often says he will have a life of high intensity drama if we stay together. He told me last night I seek out ways to destroy relationships. I guess this could be true and I won't deny his reasoning for thinking it. I am not violent but I do speak my mind and I am quick tempered. Sometimes following a day of extremely bad behavior by my 4 year old I am ready and looking for someone to steam at just so I can relieve stress, cry, fight, do whatever is necessary to release the anger and resentment. I didn't know that I had ADD until about a year ago. I have the same historical background as others who share this disorder with me. I am constantly in a state of rush no matter whether I plan for something or not. My wife (I feel for her) is always letting me know that I don't pay enough attention to her and that she often wonders what it would be like to be with someone who would show her such. It is hard for me to explain to her that I have every intention to be that man for her, but I always seem to fall short. Whether it be because I forget to send flowers, post love notes or call her at work, I just can't seem to get it right. All the while, I don't mean to do it. I am on Ritalin and it has helped me tremendously, but it only does so much. I have discovered that to be "normal", one has to work at it. The only problem is consistency. I have to set reminders everywhere, little notepads for work and for home, reminders on my cell phone and calls from my wife or fellow employees to remember to do something. There are times that I feel hopeless and that I am never going to succeed with my disorder, but I need to stay positive and not let anyone else deter me. If only my wife could fully understand that my behaviour is not intentional and that I don't make things go awry on purpose. They say everything happens for a reason. I just lost the girl of my dreams over all of these symptoms mentioned here. I'm 20 and I'm glad I'm realizing that I have this condition now. I was taking Ritalin as a child and it helped enormously but they eventually told me I didn't need it anymore. In retrospect, it's been a lot harder to cope since. My temper flares at the slightest thing and goes away very shortly. I had trouble in crowded situations and found myself tuning out entirely. Many relationships have been damaged by my lashing out unexpectedly. I've sought counseling and other professional help but until I did more research on the symptoms I not realize it was the ADD. I can't blame that condition entirely, but I am confident that the pills will help. I have been diagnosed with ADD since I was 8, and I am now 24. It was hard growing up with it, because not a lot was known at the time. It was hard on my parents, hard on me and my friends as I got older. Two years ago I met my husband. It was really hard for him to understand what a hard time I had in school, and in general life. Everything comes so easy to him so it was extra hard for him to understand me. We found a book called ADD and Romance. I can't remember the author, but it's a pink book. That has helped a lot. He was able to see how my ADD affected him, and things that I do that makes him mad is actually ADD. It also helped me figure out things that I was doing, which I didn't even know I was doing, and helped me to be aware when I was doing them. The more you know, and the more your significant other knows and the better off everything is. My former boyfriend of 23 was diagnosed with ADD very recently. When we first met, he was incredibly infatuated with me. He sent me flowers, love notes and pretty much hyper-focused on me rather than on anything else in his life. A month into the relationship he said I was the most important person in his life and that he loved me more than he loved his mom. I thought that was a bit odd but didn't pay much attention to it. He was a very nice guy but he had a short fuse and he would always pick the most mundane fights. He also complained about being inconsistent and incapable of finishing things he started. A year later, all the attention he gave me stopped and he was suddenly "confused" and "inconsistent" as he put it. It was also very hard for him to connect with reality. I knew the relationship was spiralling downhill but when I tried to talk to him about it he just couldn't connect and take it seriously. His body was there but his mind was absent. One day, he forgot to pick me up to go on a date and that was the end of it. I couldn't take it anymore. When I read the book on ADD and Romance many of my questions were answered. Although I don't want to blame our breakup entirely on ADD, it may have been an important player. I wish I had read the book before we broke up but perhaps it's better this way. I don't know if I'd be supportive enough if we would have gotten married. I'm going to give him the book as soon as i finish reading it. My husband and I have been struggling with ADD issues in our relationship for five long years now and have just now begun to seek help for it. My husband went to see several different physicians and told them all of his symptoms and they dismissed it saying he was fine, he's just a man. Finally, after separating, he's getting help and was just formally diagnosed with ADD. He also suffers from depression and anxiety which we've been told can be part of the ADD. I'm writing from the non-ADD perspective. It's been hard! I'm pretty much responsible for everything in our lives. If he does take care of something, I have to check later to make sure he finished it, which he resents. I know it's frustrating for him too, but it's exhausting for me. It's like having another child in my home instead of an adult. He is usually unavailable in our relationship and fretting over something insignificant, every day! So much drama. He is starting medicine this week and we are seeing a wonderful counselor, so I'm hoping for great things! I feel like I've aged ten years since we've been married and life has been so difficult and full of conflict. I was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago. I've been taking medication and it seems to help out at work. Problem is, I was ignorant on how much this was affecting my wife. I just figured the meds were the "magic answer" and my marriage was great. Nope, not the case. She has basically been taking care of two kids for the past four years. Anytime she wanted to discuss problems, I'd blow up. Now our marriage is in serious trouble and I'm scrambling trying to correct it. If I were to do things all over, I would try to focus more on her. Set up a time every day where I would force myself to be available to her needs, and not get defensive. I know this is easier said than done, but knowing the emotional distress I have caused her, and what appears to be the break-up of our marriage, I would force myself to do it. You owe it to your relationship to address the other's needs. The best time of day to catch my attention is in the a.m. after I have had my pot of coffee. This is the time I should have used to talk with her in the past. Don't lose your mate. Talk about things that aggravate them, and try to develop better habits around these aggravations. Personalities can't change, habits can. My boyfriend and I have been together just over a year, and we live together. We literally hit the ground running when we started dating. Early on, he revealed to me that he was he had had childhood ADD (i.e., I was upset with him that he oftentimes seemed to 'zone out'). Of course, before knowing this, I took his behavior to mean that he found me unimportant and was losing interest in me; however, he assured me that that was far from the case. Over the course of our relationship, our time together has had its highs and lows, as in any relationship, but knowing that he has ADD has been a mixed blessing: I'm glad that I know that he suffers from it, but I'm also troubled on how to remedy recurring problems, e.g., his disorganization in our living space, his struggle with prioritizing, his lack of motivation to get moving, his face glued to the TV. By contrast, I am more on the get-up-and-go, near and tidy person who likes to make to-do lists and I try to stay as organized as possible. I have to add that my older brother has ADD so some of the behaviors my boyfriend has displayed, I am a bit familiar with. I decided to take a stab at trying to understand the disorder and search for some answers as well as some support. My guy is a good guy, and I want to help him. I just bought a book, Delivered From Distraction: Getting the most out of life with ADD. I just want to add that it's much easier to walk away from a relationship then to deal with adversity. All I know is that in the end, I want to say that I gave it my best shot, whatever the outcome, and learned some valuable lessons. I've been diagnosed with ADD for four months now. I always wondered if there was something wrong with me, but had no answers. Asking doctors about problems was difficult and embarrassing. I happened to find a new doctor and ask about anxiety and depression when he starting asking me more in-depth questions, coming up with ADD. I have a 4 year old son and a wife of five years (I now understand what she has gone through) and love them very much. Divorce or separation seem to come up a lot during arguments. I've noticed within the last five years I cannot control my anger or my foul language as easily. I figured it was my wife, or my job, or dare I say it . . . my son. I now take a prescription drug that my doctor recommended: Methylphenidate. I can think a little clearer (still working on anger and swearing) and see a big change in depression. I hurt my family with a big decision that I could not see was a dead end and am now having to apologize constantly. My wife is a trooper though. She found this site and many others. This site in particular was very helpful with the answers I have read and the experiences I have related to. Thanks to everyone for sharing! I dated a wonderful man for about six months. He was attentive, caring, and loving. He was everything that I wanted in a mate. I always knew that he was diagnosed with ADD as a child but never put much thought into how it affected 'us' as a couple. About four months into the relationship he started classes at University. He had decided to go back to school and I was 100% behind him. Around this time he started to become slightly more distant. I noticed but thought that it was because we had come out of the "puppy love" stage. He then started two new part-time jobs. At this time he seemed to me to be distant, and unavailable to see me as much as I would like. I started to react and eventually gave him a choice "make me a priority or I'm leaving the relationship". I ended up leaving . . . which was a mutual choice. It wasn't until after all was done that I understood that what was happening had nothing to do with me but was ADD. He became so frazzled with life he couldn't focus. I regret what happened and that I didn't understand. I still love him and hope that one day things work out for us but I do still worry about his ability to follow though. The good news is that he seems open to seeking and receiving help. I hope that he does this. He is a wonderful man who deserves a wonderful life. I'm 43, female, lesbian and have had ADD all my life. I've been taking ADD medication and working with a top-notch ADD therapist for about 15 years. I have a great job that I've been at for almost 25 years and I hold my own in the intelligence department. Where I struggle is with relationships, both friendships and lovers. I've found after several years of failed relationships that my addiction to excitement and new challenges are contrary to making a long-term relationship work. One of the things that many women do is to become very symbiotic with each other emotionally, and what seems to happen with me is the old "familiarity breeds contempt" or at least boredom takes over. I yearn for a monogamous intimate relationship that I can feel safe in, with a mate that I will continue to respect and desire. I currently have the best opportunity of my life with a wonderful woman whom I am deeply in love with. Now after a year and a half together I am scared by my old familiar feelings of boredom and suffocation. I have been married for thirty-three years, and about four years ago my husband who is now sixty-one, was diagnosed with A.D.D., type II inattentive. Our marriage had been troubled for years, not because of his forgetfulness, his inability to complete projects, his inattentiveness or promises which he could not keep and all the other everyday things that go along with this condition. Our marriage was in serious trouble because my husband had been unwilling, for years, to even hear or consider what is and was important to me, always making what he wanted (and needed) a priority instead. When I tried to talk to him, he would start blaming me immediately for whatever instead of listening to what I had to say. He went so far as to tell me that all our problems in our marriage I had created because I always was asking things of him and I was always confronting him with something while he was always Mister Nice. In a nutshell, if I would just keep my mouth shut all the time, his life would be wonderful, and he stated as much when we entered marital therapy (again) after his diagnosis. Unlucky, we had a therapist who felt that my husband's diagnosis was inconsequential to our problems. He believed that ADD has no impact on relationships, only the two people involved and their behaviour. My husband, while in therapy on his very apparent blaming-and-unwilling-to-take-responsibility track, was told by this therapist that he had an inability to admit to failure or wrongdoing. However, this therapist decided to continue the marriage counseling without paying future attention to his own observations. My husband, after I told him that I couldn't continue with this kind of therapy or with our relationship because after months of counseling things only worsened, decided that he probably didn't have ADD and that he didn't need to inform himself about this or seek any individual help at all; his view is the same as always; I am the one who is solely responsible for the dismal state of our marriage. I feel that the therapist we had, contributed even more to our problems, and have come to the point after all these years of marriage, that I am no longer willing to stay in this relationship. I can say this much. My husband is a great person even with the normal ADD flaws as long as he doesn't get confronted with something that he might not have handled correctly. When that happens, it is as if he transforms into another person. From all I read and researched about Adult ADD, this is not uncommon behavior. I find that lots of people and professionals just focus on the common things in ADD instead of giving the behavioural traits the same kind of focus; what happens with children who have ADD lots of times happens with adults too. They are oppositional to no end, unwilling to take responsibility for how they chose to behave. I believe if professionals focused more on this in adults, lots of relationships could be saved. The other things, in my book, are small potatoes when you know that this is part of this condition. What aren't small potatoes is living with a person who, in his coping skills, has gotten so used to his blaming and uncaring behaviour to the point that he believes himself it to be, quote, normal. I believe my husband lives in denial because he hasn't encountered one professional who has been straight forward with him and has told him that he needs to acknowledge behaviour before he can ever make a positive change. I do know that my husband doesn't want this to happen, and when I look at him I can say the same thing lots of people have written here already, I do take care of everything in our lives, and if this support falls away at his age, how will he cope then? I was first diagnosed with ADHD when I was 10, and was put on a medication that would cause me to fall asleep. I was never hyperactive, and in fact, have always had a problem with constant fatigue. In response, my parents took me off of the medication and never took me back. Of course, I forgot all about this for a long time. I dropped out of high school, ran off (rather impulsively) to another state on a greyhound bus with just a backpack and got married. I got odd jobs here and there, mainly in food service. I had no self-esteem or confidence in myself, so I never tried to get a good job because I was certain that I was a "freak" or was somehow "less than" everyone else. I couldn't even order a hamburger in a fast-food restaurant or make a phone call. I never learned how to pay bills or make a budget, so my wife ended up doing all of that. During the time between 1996 and 2001 I worked close to eighteen different jobs, one right after the other. I would work there until I became one of the best employees, and I would get bored with the job and leave. In 2001 I was finally coerced into taking the GED test and passed, with a score of 335, and earned a scholarship. I went to college as a physics major for two semesters and once again dropped out. I simply couldn't stand being there anymore. I knew I shouldn't have, I didn't want to, but I couldn't get over not wanting to be there. Well, through the years, I've switched from one project to another, being absolutely gung-ho in the beginning but then fizzling out after a few days. I've been interested in art, writing, physics, mechanics, philosophy, metaphysics, electronics, etc. ad infinitum, switching focus about once every other day. My wife, who has a genetic disorder that has caused a cascade of other physical problems including hypothyroidism, diabetes, and anxiety attacks, has had to put up with this behaviour all this time. I never did any chores, would freak people out by saying or doing something and having absolutely no memory of it a few seconds later, and have never even gotten a driver's license. Eventually we moved back to my hometown in California, and I finally decided to get help after having a serious breakdown. I went to college as an art major while I sought medical help and treatment, though I dropped out again in only one semester. In the end it took me almost four months just to get a doctor to take me seriously, and when I finally did, I was re-diagnosed in less than five minutes. I applied for disability to help pay rent, and they of course sent me to their own specialist to be diagnosed again. I still don't know how I managed to fill out all the paperwork, but I got through the system and began receiving disability in only three months. I am going to vocational rehab now to try to get a real job that I might actually be able to keep, and am currently taking Dexedrine. All of this on top of a lifetime of severe depression and a father who had me convinced I was worthless because I wasn't him. My parents never even took me to a doctor when I broke my nose as a child. I'm now almost twenty eight, and I've had to live with all of this my entire life, and now it seems that even with my medication, even though it makes a major difference in my attitude and behavior, I still can't seem to do simple things like paying bills or balancing a check book, or even making phone calls, because I've always got so many other things on my mind and that I want to do. Because I forget things and miss well over half of anything said to me, and put things off (often until it's way too late,) I tend to screw things up a lot, and I'm always making the worst possible decisions that always end up with disastrous results. Then I lash out when confronted about it because the feeling of guilt is so overwhelming that my brain literally shuts itself off. I can't control my behaviour, and all I can do is try to figure out what I can do or say to make the feeling of guilt "go away" and end the confrontation. The problem is that this same thing happens not just when I'm confronted by my friends and family about something I've done (or not done) but even just talking to someone. Even if the conversation isn't important. Things like paying at a grocery store, ordering in a restaurant, asking for help understanding directions, etc., become almost completely impossible. I become paralyzed. My friends call it "deer in headlights syndrome" to describe the effect. I'm determined to dig myself out of this hole however, because I want to be able to take care of my wife and myself and be a responsible adult. And the medication has definitely helped me focus enough to at least try, even though it still feels quite often like I'm not getting anywhere. I was diagnosed with ADD 4 months ago and looking back into my life with girls and relationships I found that after 6-8 months I was over it. Just done and nothing could make me feel the same way that I felt a month earlier. I am still having trouble with girls and keeping interest for longer than 6-8 months. This is obviously frustrating me and the one that I am with, does anyone out there have a clue of what to do? I'm 27 years old and I've never been diagnosed. I started having problems with ADD (my own well-researched self-diagnosis) as far back as I can remember. In elementary school, I was unable to pay attention in class, couldn't sit still and got in trouble a lot for being disruptive. In grade school I learned to stay out of trouble but still had problems focusing in school and during personal study time and my grades reflected those issues. I always had trouble being social and developed huge insecurities. I constantly asked myself, "WHY can't you just PAY ATTENTION?!" and felt SO stupid for not being able to keep up in school. After all, everyone else could. In High School, it was the same story but as school became more demanding and a social life became more important to me, my insecurities and depression seemed to get worse. I felt like every day was a struggle, not to excel, but just to get through it and then do it all again the next day. I heard about ADD and researched it. I was certain that ADD was my problem and that I could be normal if I was treated. My parents told me that I just wasn't trying hard enough and that I just had to apply myself. I became reliant on my relationships with boys and in college, struggled even harder to study and fight against myself to do well in school. Failure after failure, to do well in school, made me turn to alcohol and I drank heavily almost every night. I went from serious relationship to serious relationship because being single was lonely. I ended up on academic probation and dropping out of college to work from pay check to pay check and couldn't hold down a long-term job. Years later, I'm still fighting insecurities, depression and still feel like a prisoner within my own mind. I'm earning a degree through online classes which are going much better because I can work at my own pace, not someone else's. My husband and I have a good relationship, MOST of the time, but sometimes we have these huge fights that make me want to leave him and think that maybe we should see a counsellor. I wonder how much my ADD has affected our relationship because I know my insecurity and sensitivity must have some effect. I've thought about seeing a physician about a diagnosis and treatment but for some reason I'm scared. I don't want to be told, yet again, that it's all in my head or that I just need to try harder. Experience First of all, I am right now, causing my tongue to bleed. No one has any right, unless backed up with hard scientific evidence, to denounce the validity of ADD/ADHD. How dare you? (That post was removed by a super.) We could just as easily denounce the viability of bipolar, or depression. "Oh those are just excuses to feel sorry for yourself". And in my mind, the ramifications of ADHD ADD are far more serious than depression (depression could be a consequence of untreated ADD ADHD). How would explain how thousands of people have the same strange symptoms of learning disabilities, anger issues, social inadequacy, organizational inabilities, forgetfulness, impulsiveness, hyperactivity, all clumped together in one person? I'm sorry, that's sounds like a clinical mental disability to me! All those symptoms? Me, except for anger and learning disabilities. I do have irritability issues. I was diagnosed at I believe the age of 6 or seven. This was because I had extreme issues paying attention in school (thank God I was home-schooled). But I also couldn't get ready in a timely fashion, I would forget that I was supposed to be putting on my shirt and would be in the corner of my room playing with a Barbie-shirtless- me, not the Barbie. My mom used to say that if she ever died of a heart attack, it would be because of me getting ready in the morning. I wasn't a stupid kid, nor did I have hand coordination problems or learning disabilities. I could read my first 10 page "book" when I was 4. I was doing multiplication when I was 6 and wrote my first 250 wood composition when I was almost 7. I graduated high school with extra credits at the age of 16. I am now in my first year of college working on a Culinary Arts AA Degree. My SAT scores ranked with those going in to college to study law, surpassing most students who were going in to study Culinary. ADD/ADHD is a stumbling block, a chemical imbalance in the brain that has caused a key doors to stick shut or open, when they need to be routinely opened and closed. Impulsivity was and is a huge problem with me factoring in physical inappropriateness (nothing sexual in my case but in many other cases it can lead to that if not subdued or redirected), I reach out to tap someone to emphasize a point, and I would end up leaving a bruise. So in my case, inappropriate physical aggressiveness was my issue. This doesn't mean I love my issues that I think being ADHD is totally cool. I hate it. My stimulant medication causes my metabolism to speed up quite a bit. It also knocks down my appetite somewhat (although hormones easily override my medication whenever they so do please). I am a healthy weight right now, I don't eat too much and I'm active at least 3 times a week in Karate for 45 minutes each time. My favourite place is outside. I want to overcome and control my symptoms. I know I'll never grow out of it. My birth family (by the way, I'm also adopted) has a history of obesity and diabetes. I feel that being on medication the way I have been, has severely damaged how I will be able to control what I eat, having never really been given that chance, having been on medicines for 10 years now. It's disappointing, but that's just the smallest piece in this story. My social abilities suffered heavily up until I was around 13. The fact that I still have friends from when I was 8 is amazing. ADHDers can have the side effect of not being able to see or care about the emotions and hurts of other people. Many times, someone with ADHD has huge issues with thinking and caring about other people, they usually have the ability to care of only themselves if they don't get help. Other issues that go hand in hand, oh and before I continue? ADHD is ADD, the added H stands for Hyperactivity. Disgraphia- keys in with poor hand coordination issues of ADHD. What is it? An inability to write almost anything with any sort of legibility, doesn't mean it's incurable, just takes a lot of letter stencils and training to overcome. Discalcula- a form of dyslexia, a learning delay in which letters swim on the page, making martial look like marital. Discalcula is the same, but with numbers, and it goes even further. Numbers have no meaning to you. It's like "normal" people with no understanding of geometry trying on their own to figure the pi symbol and its relevance. Discalcula, you look at if a=b and b=c, then a=c, your mind goes, "how the heck did you get that a=c?" that because 1/2 = 1/4+1/4=2/4 so 2/4=1/2 your mind goes "yeah, that's nice, what is that supposed to mean again?" My sister has Discalcula. She can't add or subtract negatives with positive without the number line I made for her with 4 clear rules on adding subtracting negatives with positives. It's such an issue with her, she can't understand that 136-n=120 that in turn equals the equation 136-120=n. How can you tell me that ADHD/ADD just isn't real? My sister is 15 and she can't add 1/4+1/4=1/2 she gets 2/8. Why would someone purposefully do that to get sympathy? To pretend not to be able to understand 4th grade math when you are in the 12th grade? (Fortunately we found alternate math programs that we were able to count as high school math so she will also graduate at age 16). I said I don't think ADHD is totally cool, I do think, in the interlacing between your disorder and who you are, you can't separate the two, so when you have ADHD, when you totally embrace it, when you work with it to help you, then I think ADHD can be really cool. ADHD, the hyperactivity? I let it out in Karate, I took the energy that was driving everyone crazy and trained it to go into my muscles, into my balance and reflexes. I'm now a 9th level Junior Black belt (been in Karate for 10 years now). The only people my instructor wants me to do grappling with, so that I have a chance to be challenged, are the big 6' feet tall guys in the class. Of course, being a 16-year-old girl now, the amount of grappling I do with guys is strictly limited. Here's the thing, when picking things to do to get the energy out, make sure it is something like Karate, but counterbalance it with something where do you don't exert the energy on people, someone could get hurt, but also if you are always trying to restrain that energy so you don't hurt someone, you may never learn how to fully empty yourself, never feel the thrill of using the full extent of your strength. Something like weight lifting, or advanced sport conditioning would be really great to. Like I said, because I have ADHD, doesn't mean I'm stupid, because I come to the defence of people who are diagnosed, doesn't mean I think that everyone should feel sorry for them. I have hard times, but it makes me mad, and what I have been trained to do, is that when it makes me mad, I turn that anger on the symptom and kill the symptom. I don't have attention problems, and I can sit still far better than my sister who does not have the hyperactivity, I can sit still for 1 hour and 30 mins so far, that's all I have had to sit still for. When it comes to tests such as the SAT or Midterms, I go into a hyper focus that I have trained myself to do. I don't allow anything to distract me. I'm still in the process of doing the same in other areas though, like driving when I can only hyper focus when concentrating on one thing. When I have to concentrate on a lot of the things at the same time, I miss things, like what happens with my memories like Greek myths. With driving, I'll be really good at taking in the street sign, signal, the lanes, the laws, all at once at let's say an intersection I'm about to go through, but I'll miss the car that is right in front of me starting to slow down to make a turn: stuff like that. I feel like I can help a lot of my fellow "friends" of people with ADHD. I like to tell people I have ADHD and have them look at me like "why the heck would you lie to me like that?" My success is all owed to my parents, if they didn't care or weren't involved like they are, I would probably be some wild girl pregnant and on the street right now. Because of people who go around saying stuff like, "oh I'm such a klutz", "I so hate my ADHD impulsiveness", I can see why other people assume that this disorder is a fraud. People who go around saying stuff like, a.) "OMG, my cousin is always bouncing off the walls, I swear he has ADHD, he just can't stop moving", are usually exaggerating, b.) When asked if he told them he had ADHD their usual response. "No, but I'm telling you there is no way he doesn't have ADHD". Then I drop the bomb that I have ADHD and have been professionally diagnosed, and the looks on their faces is priceless. But then they go on to still say that their energetic cousin has severe ADHD as if they know better than me. That makes me mad, and there's the assumptions that ADHD kids all belong in resource, rooms at school. Actually, a lot of the people I know who have ADHD, have GPA's of 3.6 or higher. My high school GPA was 3.86, my IQ is 134, two points lower than my brilliant mother. (I'm not exaggerating, if you knew her you would say the same.) 6 points from the highly intelligent spectrum. I just want everyone out there with ADHD/ADD to know that, they're not stupid, just a little lost, with even just a little bit of help? They could go beyond anything they could have dreamed. Oh, and Einstein? The theory is that he had ADD and at least Asperger's syndrome. They are doing further studies on it. The term Absent Minded Professor was started with him and not for no good reason. Oh, and Thomas Edison? He is also being looked into for ADD. His teachers hated him because he wouldn't pay attention in class, and turned all his homework in late and sloppy. Both my husband and myself have ADHD, and we've been married for twenty-eight years now. Our first sixteen years were very chaotic due to neither one of us ever being on any treatment for ADHD. My husband started on treatment right after our son was diagnosed with ADHD and the change in him was quite apparent. The chaos in our home was eased in the first month. I knew at the time that I also shared the same ADHD diagnosis and so did my sons doctors, who I had worked for as one of their nurses prior to his birth, yet I didn't want to admit that I too had ADHD. One of them talked me into a series of tests for ADHD and I knew that things would soon change. I started treatment as well. All of us were taking Adderall and there was been an unbelievable change. It was wonderful until I lost my job due to a back injury and could no longer afford the Adderall for myself. Once again, chaos stepped in, and seemed to totally take over my life. I found it impossible to complete tasks, and despite much effort, it just wasn't happening. Eventually, after having two more children, it caught up with me, and I am once again on treatment for ADHD, and things are looking up again. Being a 36 year old man, with ADD and have lived with it all my life. It does has its disadvantages. However, when it comes to understanding one, it's simple, especially in a relationship. The way is to simply write out all the ADD facts for your partner, research it. Show it to them, if they truly care for you, they will understand. Mine did, then the funniest thing happened. She did her own research and talked to friends. Sure enough, she found something for me. Called Ginkgo Biloba, I have been taken it for years now and everything is fine.
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Should you tell your friend that you are in love with her?

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== If you truly love her tell her. The easiest way is to just tell her straight forward. She may need some time to think at first, or maybe she likes you back too, but in the same way you were wondering whether to tell her, she may have been wondering whether to tell you, too. So go on and tell her because it doesn't hurt to try. == Or you might not jump and just say, "I love you." You might be better off to wait and go out with them before you even bring up "love." If someone says to you right out of the blue "I love you," it could be a little shocking. == Well I might go for the making her "realize" that she's in love with you first. But I guess it depends. How long have you been friends with her and how close friends are you?? But I would wait a while before going to the direct approach. But not too long. ;~) == I feel the same way about one of my friends but i wouldn't describe it as "love"but I really like her. This is how my experience went down. One day me and my friends got off the bus and I told my best friend that I was going to invite him and one girl to it for free and he says that he would take the girl I like to it. So I said that I was thinking about asking her the week before and that I wanted to take her and he said let's turn it into a competition as we did before and he beat me to her first but I said that didn't work and then we got under each other's skin and I finally said best man gets her but lets not let her get between us so then we shook on it and the next day I asked her out first then I started to gloat and he got mad because now she was my girlfriend and we both like her so he asks her out in chorus the next day and she says yes but both me and the girl thought he really asked her out so my best friend told me that it was hypothetical and she took it wrong so now he has her and I get mad because he broke the bro-code. So the next couple of days were weird because the girl was like a really good friend of mine so we didn't say much and she sat really close to me in classes. that night we had a chorus concert and my friends and I made him break up with her so she got dumped and at the concert I told her to meet me at lunch the next day when everybody left so the period before lunch was chorus again so my friend was like you made me break up with her now you won't get with her and he got all mad and then the girl's cousin was like oh she's my cousin she will say yes to me (the cousin was a girl) so she went and asked her out for me after I told her not to and the girl was embarrassed and then told both me and my friend no so the moral of the story is if the girl is really good friends with you just like ask her out to the movies or something and then the wheels are in motion and then just play it from there but never never say love unless she does and don,t ever act desperate. == If you think that it won't hurt your friendship then yes. If you think she will return the favor then yes. If you are unsure that she will say yes then ask indirectly. If you think she will say no then don't, you aren't sure enough of yourself. == There are two choices -- you tell her or you keep that feeling bottled up, and if she happens to fall in love and it's not you then you're screwed really. Take my advice and tell her because if you don't you'll end up like me sad and still in love with the one who will never be mine. Go straight and tell her. If you don't you may end up in love with that 'someone' forever and moping about how she will never be yours .