no
Any competent adult may serve as executor.
Usually an exspouse of the deceased is mentioned if they had been married longer than 8 years, or have children by the exspouse.
A shaky issue. Likely as not, you are on the contract for these debts with your exspouse. The court that granted your divorce separated you from the debt, and only the courts can legally break a contract when both parties do not agree to it. You have the recourse to appear in court if the creditors attempt to sue you and produce the order from the divorce court indemnifying you. Likely as not the presiding judge will honor the order from the divorce judge, and the creditors will have no option at that point but to pursue your exspouse. Be prepared to cooperate with the court if the judge requests any location or asset information on your exspouse from you. This can only help your case.
All parties named on the mortgage note must be in agreement to sell it in order to claim the proceeds from the sale. This should be done with the advice and council of an attorney.
The judge in your divorce case would make the determination on when you spouse needs to remove their things from the home.
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If you are gay with your friend, then you might be gay, or partly gay, which is called bisexual.