How do you cope while your boyfriend is away to basic training?

Answer 1

This is critical.

Without offering judgment, your actions will affect everyone around you and will reverberate for years after the immediate situation. That being said, you wait. This has been the legacy of every loved one of every soldier since the first soldier went to war. There is nothing more to it. It is as simple as that, and it sums up everything you could and should do.

Here's the thing: without making suggestions or implications, a very common phenomenon for boot camp soldiers is the "Dear John" letter. The devastation this cowardly act creates is stunning. Soldiers who receive Dear John letters in such stressful environments have in the past lost all connection with reality. Some become so depressed as to take their own lives. Some strike out at their brother-in-arms around them. Some lose all connection and drift into full psychoses. I have personally witnessed the full range, and that was during the relatively low stress environment of a peacetime service.

A few points of advice:

• If you loved him when he left, you still do. As much as you miss him, he misses you more. Write to him. Be available when he can call. Be supportive. Be strong. He needs that.
• If you are uncertain, put your uncertainty on hold. Your life is about you, but you do not live in this world alone. Consider the effects your actions could have on him and everyone around him.
• If you are certain that you want to end the relationship, quit being a selfish shrew. Consider that he has contributed to this relationship also. Consider unselfishly (if at all possible) that now is not the time for you to drop this bomb. Don't be a coward; wait until he comes home and he has family and friends around to help him put back together the life you shredded.

This is harsh in places, and for that I apologize, but reality is harsh; diplomacy is a wasted effort if the message is lost. Just consider that what ever you are going through right now, he is experiencing it too, and on top of that, he is several hundred miles away from home, surrounded by strangers, living through one of the toughest times of his life. So, wait.

Answer 2

Take him out for a really nice dinner and maybe a movie or other romantic activity... maybe take a nice long walk in a park, downtown, or along a beach if you live close to one. If you're comfortable with it, you could also stay in a nice hotel for the night. Good luck to your boyfriend! Hope he does well in BT!

Answer 3

This happens often with young couples. You need to sit down with your boyfriend and ask if he would rather split-up when he leaves for college. Tell him you refuse to put up with cheating and it's possible he could meet someone else and you don't want the pain of finding out later. He probably loves you a great deal and not ALL men cheat! Start communicating and get it straight between the two of you. Be sure 'YOU' want to remain his girlfriend as well and if you feel a tingling to meet someone else be honest about it with him.