How do you deal with a disrespectful 15 year old?

Answer 1

If the disrespect is not too severe and there is still some communication between you, you may be able to handle it on your own. Fortunately 'disrespectful' is a normal state for a 15 year old. At some points in the teen years, an individual starts to have their own ideas, beliefs, and feelings. It's part of the maturing process, getting ready for the future when they will need to do most of their own thinking and decision making. Bit by bit they have to wean themselves off relying on the parents to do it for them. For a parent to recognize this fact is half way home. To understand that their ideas or decisions may not be quite on target for their own well being is also to your benefit.

You 'deal' with a disrespectful teen (the earlier the better) by being respectful to their experimental decision making and new ideas that they didn't learn at home. Respecting it does not mean agreeing to it or allowing everything they come up with. You are still legally responsible for a 15 year old. It means that when they say or do something that is cause for controversy, instead of firing back about 'stupidity' or 'how dare you use that tone...', as calmly as possible, talk to them about what makes them say that or feel that way. Instead of telling the that they're 'wrong' (if they feel that way, it's how they feel), get them to express their thought process or what led to feeling that way (even while you're seething inside about who is trying to destroy your baby). Show that you are listening, you don't need to agree, just listen. Help them to think through what they're telling you without being preachy. If you can pull this off a few times, your teen should feel more confident about their own ideas and more likely to think them through more maturely as they discuss them with you.