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* What makes you think she even wants you back! You've hurt her deeply and she isn't a piece of furniture you trade off! It's time for you to go somewhere quiet and start thinking of what you want and where you want to go in your life and realize some of your actions hurt other people. Don't land back on your wife's door step simply because it's a convenient place to go because you affair didn't work out. You have to decide if you really love her and if you do then work to earn her trust back before moving back in with her (if she'll take you back.) You have broken that bond of trust which is very difficult to get back and it will take a long while for your wife to ever trust you again. You managed to have the affair and walk out on your wife, so it shouldn't be too hard to be honest with your mistress. Tell her the truth ... you want to go back to your wife; then pack your bags and leave, but, be sure you have somewhere to stay and don't depend on slipping back in the doorway at your wife's home.

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16y ago

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Is the affair still going on? Do you want to work on your marriage? Exposing the affair purely for revenge tactics instead of using it as a way to end the affair to work on your marriage will likely backfire on you. To expose the affair out of spite, in some people's eyes, will sink you down to a level commiserate with your spouse, fairly or unfairly. So only do this if you want to save the marriage, instead of taking a potshot at your wife. However, if you want to expose, take a huge deep breath before doing so. Let go of any hurt, anger, vengeance or anything like that which will taint what you are saying and make you sound like a tattletale. Be informational and let them know that you are exposing because you want the affair to end and that you and your wife need their help and support in rebuilding your marriage. Understand they already have you in mind as a 'bad guy' so you have to use very neutral and calm language. Do not insult her or try to build yourself up. Think 'completely neutral' - informational, not opinionated. State the facts only, and ask for their help. Let them form their own opinions in this matter. If you try to influence it, they will be suspicious of your motives. Keep in mind that if you expose the affair and your wife still chooses to be with this other person, there is no way to work on the marriage. Then go into protective mode for yourself---get your finances in order, collect hard evidence the affair (texts, emails, letters) seek out an attorney and get a divorce that favors your terms, not hers, since she is the one who chose to leave the marriage.