How do you get an F on a research paper?

Answer 1

In order to get an F on a research paper, you have to follow some very complex steps.

First, when your teacher is giving you directions on how to write your paper do not listen to him or her. Instead, write down the opposite of what your teacher is saying, or daydream about winning the lottery, finish your math assignment that was due two weeks ago, text, or think of the girl in the third row.

Second, when you are assigned a book, don't read it. You do not even have to check the book out of the library, which is good because you won't have to pay the fine when you forget to turn it in. During your assigned silent reading time read any other book but the one given, such as Harry Potter. I have read the series seven times. You can also spend your time catching up on sleep or distracting others by talking, whistling or humming. If your teacher lets you sit on the floor, you can probably sneak in food. I prefer Doritos, however, the crunchy noise might be a problem so a quieter snack is necessary at this point. Pack peanut butter Sandwiches in your backpack.

Third, avoid doing research. If you want to fail your paper then you cannot do any research. Since most of your research is usually done at home on the computer, then you can enjoy Facebook, YouTube videos, or shop on Amazon (using your parent's credit card). It will be great. Your parents will think you are working hard and yet you can really be having fun, it's a win-win for everybody Perhaps, you will even have time to make a YouTube video of your own.

Fourth, write your paper on the wrong topic. In order to completely bomb your paper you must not do your paper on the correct topic. Instead, do it on something that ACTUALLY interests you. For example, if you are assigned a paper on the Solar System, write it instead on March Madness. Also, when you are writing your paper, don't have the correct number of pages. If you want, you can staple many blank sheets of paper to it or write it in a font three times larger than the one specified.

Fifth, when you are writing your thesis, write it as many sentences because a thesis is only supposed to be just one long sentence.

Sixth, have your three body paragraphs be merged into one large body paragraph. Since teachers usually do not like when you enumerate about what you are writing you paper on in the first paragraph, enumerate it.

Seventh, you should always turn in your rough draft because, chances are, most of the time your rough draft is more "F-worthy" than your final paper. Rough drafts are usually filled with many fragments of sentences, incorrect grammar, and "mispeled wrods". Also, make sure that your rough draft is very mundane with few action verbs and written in a passive voice. When your teacher says who your audience is, don't pay any attention to that because it doesn't matter whatsoever.

Eighth and final, when you turn in your paper, make sure that you turn it in late. Wait for at least two days to seven and a half weeks. When your teacher asks where it is always make up an excuse such as, "My dog ate it," or "My printer broke," or even "My dad choked on a Swedish meatball yesterday and we were in the hospital all last night worried sick about him". When you do turn it in, forget to put your name on it.

If these steps are too difficult or complex for you then follow this step: DON'T DO YOUR PAPER AT ALL! Either way, when you bring home your F your parents definitely will not be happy about this. Just remember, you brought this upon yourself so you have to face the consequences, if you do the crime, you pay the time.