Asked in RelationshipsBreakupsEmotions
How do you get over your boyfriend's past relationships?
July 15, 2015 9:49PM
If it's not you who's having a problem with them but your boyfriend, see
" "What can you do if past relationships of the man you love are confusing him and affecting your relationship?"
instead. (If by "you" you mean "you both")
Past is past. Nothing can change it. I know you know it. AND IT SUCKS. it hurts like hell.
I KNOW. cause we're the same. my bf has dated someone in the past for 3 years. but it's an on&off relationship.
STILL. the girl was his first, and he was the girl's first. aww. then, i entered they're life like poof. they were "off" at that time for about a couple of weeks i think. he said he likes me. and i fell for him -not knowing his past. ONLY hints o it.
AND NOW, i know almost EVERYTHING, and i have a feeling that they still like-no, LOVE each other.
I think of breaking up with him at times but.. the thought of him going back to his past makes me... anguished. IT SUCKS.
If i continue this relationship, maybe.. he'll move on. we'll move on.
anyway, the best thing you can do is... be sincere.
TELL HIM. how much it sucks.
I don't know the exact problem so i can't give you any accurate help.
if he laughs off the problem like my bf did.. don't panic.
don't over react.
maybe.. it's just his way of showing you that... HE CAN'T FACE the PROBLEM.
or.. that it's not a threat.
but really, don't do what i do. I SPY, with my little eye.
and learn secrets. stuff he hides. stuff that hurts.
to end this,
I'll share with you a quote by mother Teresa,
"I have found the paradox, that if you love till it hurts... there would be no more hurt, only more love"
Just as he had past relationships so did you! Think of it this way ... he went with other women, but he chose you! You went with other men and you chose him! You see, in order to find the right person you have to "try on" a few or you'll never know when you meet the right person.
Please don't let his past relationships ruin your relationship with him. There is nothing worse than a jealous nature when there is absolutely no reason for it. If you think it out as I described it in the first paragraph this will help you put things in perspective.
If he should cheat on you while going together, then it's time for you to move on and don't look back.
As in every bad situation you need to dicipline yourself to cut any connection with this individual. If you get rid of the source of the problem, then there is no more problem. At first or even throughout your life, it will be hard to keep away, but if you want results then you need to focus on reality and not fanticy.
Everyone makes mistakes. You need to realize this and forgive him. If you are jealous then you need to let go of that jealousy. It's not his fault. Once again, we all make mistakes.
If he has done something awful in the past, that you cannot forgive, then it might be best to move on and leave him.
His past relations are not really any of your concern. Unless this is a person that is still in his life, like the parent of a child. His past isn't about you. If you want his future to be you, better stop thinking about his past. He isn't living in it, you shouldn't be either. you have no business there. It is that simple. It is about being insecure. If you are insecure, then you are not going to be able to get past anything. That isn't healthy.
Just don't think about it. That will help.
i think through trust. if you trust that he has moved on to you, and not the past, then that is the only way that you can stop thinking about it. other than that, you will always have that in the ba k of your mind, and that's not healthy.