How do you get rid of the guilt of being a sibling abuser?

Answer 1

Provided you are talking about hurting and not sexual abuse, I can give you an answer. I can answer the sexual abuse, too, but would have to know if that is what you were asking first before I felt comfortable answering that. There is a well documented syndrome called 'nest syndrome.' It is called this because it is commonly seen in birds in their younger years while still in the nest where the birds actually push their siblings out of the nest to be killed by predators below. They are all competing for their mothers love, nurture and for food and nature gives most animals the survival instinct which at early age is very strong. It is a 'survival of the fittest' instinct which is seen in a variety of mammals, including humans. This can be used to explain why you did these things. We are part predator, and that is a large part of our animal instinct . Children often do this to younger and weaker children and their own siblings. The only real way to rid yourself of this guilt is to accept that it is not just you, you are not mean or bad, and don't hate your sibling (provided, of course, you are not hurting them now if you are grown up) but are/were competing with them for your mothers love and nurture and for food which is why its in our instinct in the first place. You have to accept that it is not your fault,and that its very common and maybe even speak to a counsellor, or psychologist about how you feel.

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