How do you organize preventive spankings?

Answer 1

One Opinion

I can assume that by wanting to organize, and apply, preventative spankings, you already spank your child. If you and your child are already comfortable with you applying spankings to him or her, then the preventative spankings shouldn't be that hard for you to administer and your child to understand.

Now, these types of spankings - spankings that are not in direct relation to a wrongful act committed - fall into two main categories. By the way you phrased your question, you can mean either one.

The first is that you want to give your child a spanking in advance to remind him or her to be on his or her best behavior before a certain event, such as company coming over. Many parents already do this, especially for large, important events such as a major holiday such as Thanksgiving or Christmas. Just explain to your child that the preventative spanking is to remind him or her to be on his or her best behavior before Aunt ______ and Uncle ______ come over. Make sure to stress this idea. Also, explain that this spanking isn't necessarily in response to a specific action that they did which was wrong. Explain that if they DO behave for Aunt _____ and Uncle _____ they will not receive another spanking because of wrongful behavior; this preventative spanking should not be as severe as a punishment spanking. This is helpful in that your child doesn't feel that he or she is actually being punished, and this can be a helpful point when you explain that an actual punishment spanking given to them because they did not behave for Aunt _____ and Uncle _____ will be much worse. Lastly, you can tell the child that if he or she does behave for the company, then he or she will also receive a reward (an outing for ice cream) instead of a punishment (another spanking). These preventative spankings should be explained to the child long before you administer them. The child should be expecting them days in advance.

The second is often called "maintenance discipline" or "maintenance spanking." These spankings are given at regular intervals. They can be very mild; like the first type, they should not be quite as severe as punishment spankings because they do not necessarily have to be connected to wrong acts committed. Many of the same explanations used for the first type can be made for this type of spanking. They are not administered because the child has been exceedingly naughty. On the contrary, they are given because the child has behaved and is being reminded to stay on that good behavior. They can also be given to account for all of the smaller, almost trivial wrongful actions that the child has committed. For example, hitting a sibling and swearing at them could merit a full-blown punishment spanking. However, small acts of misbehavior, such as misplacing homework or being late by only a few minutes and so on, usually don't merit their own specific spankings. All of these small acts of misbehavior usually go overlooked by parents and can sometimes lead to worse behavior later on or an accumulated level of guilt in the child, as their small naughty acts never seem to be acted upon the parent. Weekly maintenance spankings, or milder bedtime spankings delivered multiple nights a week can help relieve some of that stress and guilt the child has built up. They have the potential to feel that they have a clean slate, and this will usually prevent worse behavior later on. If the child's behavior improves, the maintenance spankings can remain - but simply be curtailed in frequency and severity. If the child's behavior worsens, the maintenance spankings can remain - but simply heightened in both frequency and severity.