How do you tell your boyfriend that he has gotten lazy in bed without hurting his feelings because you almost always initiate sex and perform foreplay on him and almost always start with you on top?

Answer 1

Some people are fortunate and are good lovers while some of us have to learn as we go. The act of sexual foreplay and even the sexual act is an art form. When we first meet someone both people are on their best behavior and are constantly trying to impress the other. Sex is suppose to be a joyful and rewarding experience with someone you love, but the reality of it all is, life is hectic, we get tired and sometimes slightly depressed so our sex life isn't always going to be 100%. We have to watch out for the warning signs and not let our sexual relationship with our partner turn out to be simply "a comfy old slipper one tries on occasionally.) Some people will come up behind me and say, "you don't have to be in love with someone to enjoy sex." They are partially right, but, I call this tactic "hit and run" and in most cases one of the partners is more serious than the other and feelings are hurt and it's never quite the same as sharing one's sole with the person you love with all your heart. Sleeping around is simply a good way of getting away without responsibility of any sort. Once the couple are going together for a bit then sex can become mundane (boring) and like a good relationship or marriage it takes work by both partners. Keeping your sex life alive and interesting is one tall order so communication between the two of you is extremely important. Sit down with your boyfriend (don't discuss this in bed) and ask him what he enjoys re sex. He may give you an answer and he may not have a clue. Tell him that sex should be about both people enjoying the sexual act and express the fact you would like him to take the initiative on occasion. If you aren't getting much out of him and he won't work with you on your sex life then you are going to have yourself some very heavy questions and one of those questions is "Should I continue to stay with this young man?" Sex is very important in a live-in or married situation so if you are unhappy now you are going to be VERY unhappy down the road. Usually one of the two partners is more sexual than the other so they have to communicate and work on it. There are also reasons why someones libido is low: Diabetes, heart problems, depression, drugs (street drugs) drinking too much alcohol and medications such as antidepressants, heart medications and insulin for diabetes, etc.