Okonkwo is shown to be incapable of adapting to both the nature of his tribe and the power of the European colonists. Several particular events include:
Only Obierika's reaction is shown in Things Fall Apart. Obierika is driven to despiar and anger at the District Commissioner and his men. He considers Okonkwo one of the greatest men in Umuofia. Later, in Arrow of God, it is revealed that Okonkwo was lionized as the symbol of the pride of Umuofia and the Igbo as a whole. Okonkwo rejects living in a world where he would have to sacrifice his pride and demean himself before a greater colonial power.
Love is portrayed in almost a clinical narrative manner in Things Fall Apart. The greatest love is shown by Okonkwo and Ekwefi in a manner that does not depend on words but on actions. Ekwefi runs away from her husband to be with Okonkwo. Okonkwo shows his love for his children by being concerned by their welfare and having thoughts of how to raise them properly. He also prepares medicine for Ezinma when she is ill. Other instances of love are shown by the musicians' songs, and the ceremony of marriage with Obierika's daughter Akueke.
It appears that men offer proposals to the women and they decline or accept. This is shown when both Ezinma and Obiageli refuse marriage proposal in Mbanta in favor of marrying in Umuofia.A further consideration is whether the man has enough money to pay the bride-price. Okonkwo was unable to pay the bride-price for Ekwefi when he was young, and Ekwefi subsequently ran off to him years later. It is unknown if any consideration was paid to Ekwefi's former husband by Okonkwo.
The way Okonkwo reacts to each of the things that Unoka and Ikemefuna do and say highlight his character. For example, his fear of weakness is highly illuminated when he slays Ikemefuna in a daze. His lack of wisdom due to disrespect of his father is shown when he is annoyed by his father trying to console him after the drought then torrential rains during Okonkwo's first harvest. His desire for strong children is shown through his acceptance of Ikemefuna as his son.
Okonkwo was an example of what a man becomes when they take the tribal customs and ideals to their ends. Okonkwo represents the ideal warrior and hard worker. He was not representative of all men in his village; he wished to be one of it's leaders. It is shown that many of the other leaders are still wiser or more compassionate than Okonkwo.
Unoka as a heavy debtor who does not want to work hard, is a minor burden on the community, as he does not do his share of work, and drinks too much. Much of the time Okonkwo is forced to do things that the community mandates. For example, he is forced to rest during festival time. Another example is shown during the court example, where the husband is accused of too frequently beating his wife. Many of the individuals who join the Christians initially join for selfish reasons, and do not measure the impact of their defection upon the Igbo community. Further, many of them become arrogant, and look down upon the rest of the Igbo culture.
Achebe explicitly says "Even Okonkwo himself became very fond of the boy". Okonkwo begins treating Ikemefuna like he is his eldest son, allowing Ikemefuna to attend meetings with him, and bring his stool or goatskin bag. Further, Okonkwo is pleased at Nwoye's development due to Ikemefuna's influence.
Ezinma is told a story by her mother, that of Tortoise and the birds. Unfortunately, it does not contain a song. Ezinma is given the task of telling the next story. Ezinma begins, but is interrupted by Chielo. Ezinma is scared by her and begins to cry. Ezinma is given a piece of fish by her mother. Ezinma is taken by Chielo on her back. Ezinma is shown Agbala, throughout the nine villages and at the cave shrine.
Yes, Igbo women had legal rights. This is shown in the first court case, when the woman who was regularly beat ran away from her husband.
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Okonkwo originally wanted Ekwefi for his first wife, but did not have the money. It appears that the two are more together for love, whereas the other marriages were originally marriages of convenience and business.
There are three episodes which develop Okonkwo's character. The first is when Okonkwo takes Ekwefi as his wife. The second occur when Ezinma is sick, and the third incident when Ezinma is taken by Chielo, priestess of Agbala. In both situations, he shows compassion and concern that he has not shown to any other soul. It shows that although Okonkwo is a very stern man, he still reserves some compassion for Ezinma and Ekwefi.