Philosophy and Philosophers
Michael Jordan

How likely is it that an narcissist is leading a double or triple life and lying convincingly all the way?



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From my experience, it is very likely. I have been seeing my narcisisst for 7 years now. During the past 2 years i suspected that things were just not right. He would not talk to me at night or weekends. I asked him if he had a girlfriend and he denied it. He would be extremely angry if he even thought i was seeing another man. His control over me restricted much of what I was doing in my life. But I finally decided to find out the true story about what was going on. I did a public records search and found where he lived (he told me he was living with his cousin in another town). So, I found his address and worse yet, I found out that he did not buy the house alone but with his WIFE! I suspected he was married but I never thought he would have done that to me. So, now I am the "other woman" when I had no idea he was married. He pulled this off for two years! I thought that all of his lies were to cover up his marriage but now, a few months later, I am back to believing he is a narcissist. He wants both lives...with her and me even though he insists he will "figure things out". He even managed to call me when he was on his honeymoon! Needless to say, this whole thing has crushed me. I am hurt beyond words. Now, I don't know what to think when he says anything. He lied so much that I doubt I could ever trust him. And he insists he knows the answers to everything. If i try to voice my opinion, he gets mad and then refuses to talk to me. and to make matters even worse, my only child was killed 10 days after I found out he was married. There is not much left of my heart ... or me....anymore. Kat I don't know about triple, but at least another life. They are controlling, ego maniacal, selfish and think they're better than everyone else. They are usually highly intelligent but unfortunately they don't put this to good use and use it against others. Narcissists can be great chameleons, but, they can't fool everyone all the time! It eventually leaks out. They have an air about them and it's their ego seeping through every pore of their body! Triple life Of course. How about this one? simultaneously: 1) married 16 years to an estranged mentally ill wife, while 2)Living with a college coed in a townhouse, while 3)Seeing another "lover" from work. This was before my time about six years ago but I interviewed each of these women. The girl at work dumped him after three months because he would not take her to his apartment (with the other girl), and refused to give her a phone number where he could be reached. The girl he was living with figured him out because he was never around on weekends (with the wife). She didn't know where he worked and high-tailed it out of state. The estranged wife lived in the poor side of town in a shack. She moved to another city, but he still visits every weekend and vacations with every year in Mexico. === === Check out this audio and transcript of a narcissist's double life. It's origins are in childhood and it's cures are in midlife after a crisis. A partner cannot personalize it; it happened long before you two met. You have to expose his double life and eradicate his secrets like "The Scarlet Letter" in order for him to cure himself. You guide him and he does the rest. He is weak and full of fear of failure and anxiety. He has to lean on you for support. If you love him, give him your endurance to support him. He does not believe in himself.