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depends on how old the kid is. for teenagers encourage them and give them praise for the good things they do. talk to them but don't pry or push too hard to get them to talk about personal stuff in their lives. spend quality time with them, doing things that they enjoy-- not the things you think they enjoy. if they do somthing bad dont' yell at them. let them know firmly that you're upset and don't ever want them to do it again and try to understand why they did it. give them compliments about their clothes, make-up, hairstyle, etc., even if it's a little different than what you're used to seeing.

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