The stud the piercer put in it should be long enough to allow for swelling.
Also, if you put a 16g (which is smaller than a 14g) in it, then the hole itself may become smaller but with some work can be stretched back out to a 14g or larger.
A slight sinking of the tongue ring is normal as the swelling subsides and the tongue adjusts to the jewelry. However, if the sinking is excessive or causing discomfort, it's best to consult with a piercer to ensure proper fit and healing.
That is based on the tongue size ( not all tongues are created equally ) the thicker the tongue the longer the barbell. This is to make room for swelling. Your professional body piercer will check your tongue and size you for the right barbell to do the job. Two weeks after the piercing is done the swelling will have eased off and a shorter barbell can be put into the piercing to avoid doing dental damage.
Go to your piercer ASAP. Sounds like your jewelry is too small/tight. Your piercer will be able to put in a longer piece of jewelry if it isn't really bad yet.
Go to your piercer when the swelling goes down and they'll change it if its ready.
The initial tongue stud typically used during piercing ranges from 16mm to 22mm in length. This specific size is selected to accommodate swelling that may occur after the piercing. Your piercer will take your anatomy and comfort into consideration to ensure a proper fit. If you have concerns about your gag reflex, it's advisable to communicate this with your piercer beforehand so they can make adjustments as needed.
The barbell is probably too short and isn't accommodating the swelling. Go to your piercer and ask them to change it out to something longer.
You clearly have a swelling issue and the jewellery is not allowing room for swelling. So off you go to see your local professional body piercer to get longer jewellery to resolve your problem. Then you need to take something orally to help with the swelling ibuprofen, Advil, Midol and crushed Ice.
If the jewellery is sized correctly to account for swelling and you are following your aftercare guide you were provided with, the stud should be OK. If you have swelling causing the stud to embed it's self into your lip then you need to get in to see your piercer asap and get a longer stud put in till you clear the swelling stage of the healing process.
Unscrew the ball or gem. If it's too tight to unscrew, either go to your piercer for a longer bar, or soak it in warm water to relieve the swelling.
When I got my lip pierced, they already had the jewelry with them, because they have to use a special, longer stud to accomodate swelling. Perhaps if you brought you're own ball(s), they would screw those onto the stud instead of the regular ones.
Lip or labret ( including Monroe) piercings, as you probably already know, are initially pierced with a stud that is just a smidge longer than you will need long term. This is to allow extra room for the expected swelling that occurs during the first 3 days. So, while the lip is swollen, it's usually a perfect fit. As soon as the swelling goes down, the labret stud should be changed to a shorter one. We usually use a 3/8 inch stud to pierce with, and change it to a 5/16 after the swelling subsides. It is best if you are pierced with internally threaded jewelry, so the piercer, or yourself, can use the threaded end of a taper pin to assist in easily swapping out the 2 pieces without losing connection. If you have problems changing your jewelry yourself, you can buy a piercing widget from a company called www.changemypiercing.com. A piercing widget is a three piece tool used to insert jewelry, or change jewelry, and works with 14 gauge internally threaded jewelry.
Because if the shorter leg was shorter than the longer leg was long, then the longer leg wouldn't be longer than the shorter leg is short. The short leg would be the longer one rather than the long one being the short one.