Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
Letters Notes and Memos
Proper Addressing

If your man is always calling you names what should you do?

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August 07, 2012 4:41AM

"bIf_he/she_is_calling_you_names_there_could_be_a_slight_hiccup_in_your_relationship_and_you_might_feel_disrespected,_a_good_thing_to_do_is_talk_to_him/her_in_confidence_and_tell_them_how_you_are_suffering._Sometimes_these_things_can_blow_their_minds_and_things_could_get_out_of_hand,_if_he/she_starts_shrieking_and_going_mental_then_you_should_end_the_relationship_there_and_then./b"

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"bIf_he/she_is_calling_you_names_there_could_be_a_slight_hiccup_in_your_relationship_and_you_might_feel_disrespected,_a_good_thing_to_do_is_talk_to_him/her_in_confidence_and_tell_them_how_you_are_suffering._Sometimes_these_things_can_blow_their_minds_and_things_could_get_out_of_hand,_if_he/she_starts_shrieking_and_going_mental_then_you_should_end_the_relationship_there_and_then./b">

If he/she is calling you names there could be a slight hiccup in

your relationship and you might feel disrespected, a good thing to

do is talk to him/her in confidence and tell them how you are

suffering. Sometimes these things can blow their minds and things

could get out of hand, if he/she starts shrieking and going mental

then you should end the relationship there and then.

The dynamic between couples should always be one of respect. If

your partner is perpetually demeaning you with glib jibes or

denigrating words, then it's important for you to address this

subject. Do not attempt this during a period of anger as it's often

that neither of you will achieve your intended goals. It will only

turn out to be a further accelerated argument.

Find a comfortable environment, such as whilst dining out, or

after sharing intimate time together to tell your partner that you

feel hurt and demeaned when he does this. It may possibly be that

he isn't really aware that what he is saying as a joke, you are

taking as a hurtful insult.

If your partner persists with demeaning and denigrating you,

think carefully whether there are other things they do which make

you uncomfortable. Are they trying to control you? Are they trying

to demote your self-confidence? Are they actually trying to feel

better about themselves at your expense?

If your partner refuses to listen and persists, try again and

remind them that you've told them previously how much their

behaviour hurts you. Make no threats, nor place yourself in a

situation whereby you could be in physical danger.

But following their repeated behaviour of demeaning you, it may

possibly be that you will need to take a 'break' from them. If this

is the case, plan your departure without threatening them or

telling them where you're going. Ensure that someone such as a

family member or best friend is willing to accommodate you for a

day or two to allow your partner reflect on your absence.

If there are children in the relationship, your first

responsibility is towards them. You must always ensure their needs

are met first and with as little turmoil as possible. Children

should never be victims of adult domestic disagreements.

If you have no nearby family members or close friends who can

assist you through a transition, it may be that you'll need to

consider seeking assistance through a service that supports

domestic abuse. It's important to realise that verbal abuse can be

a precursor to physical abuse!

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