Is a Jewish engagement the same as being married?

Answer 1

There is something that some refer to as a "Jewish engagement" and then there is a situation in which Jews get engaged. The latter is no different than any other religion, and that is because engagement has no significance in Judaism other than it leading up to a couple getting married. There are no rituals or customs of engagement as the term is used in modern times. If a couple gets engaged in March to be married in October, they may have a party to celebrate the engagement, but should they decide to cancel the wedding, there are similarly no rituals, because the engagement was inconsequential in Jewish law -- the bride-to-be-no-more simply returns her engagement ring and the couple splits. That being said, marriage in Judaism consists of two parts -- what is termed "erusin" or "kiddushin" (betrothal) and "nisu'in" (which doesn't really have a translation other than marriage). Although the term betrothed may, in English, refer to whatever someone is using it to refer to, betrothal in Judaism refers to the first step in marriage -- this is the ever constant danger in translation, because words only mean what people think they mean if that's how they are used. In 20th Century Judaism and beyond, the two parts are bot hperformed under the chuppah on the wedding day, but hundred of years ago, the two parts were traditionally conducted about a year apart. That may be why the first segment of the marriage ceremony was termed "betrothal," but should a couple undergo the first part and then decide to break it off, it is not as simply as returning the ring -- the couple will need a divorce document, because the offical marriage ceremony has begun.